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Adeline Coats Jan 2018
Dear, "anonymous"
this has been on my heart
for quite sometime now
so i guess i will ask about it
why?
why was i not good enough for you?
what did she have that i didn't?
do you think she loved you more than i did?

because of you i don't believe in love anymore
at least not the kind of love that i used to believe in
you have shown me to believe in rejection and pain
you have shown me that there was no light at the end of the tunnel
you have shown me that "soulmates" are impossible to find

i used to believe that maybe one day
the universe would bring us together
but i guess not,
but i do know that no one ever told me
how painful love can be

there will never be enough words
to describe how much you hurted me
so for now i will say thank you
for showing me who you really were
and i hope that life treats you well
goodbye
    - the girl who once loved you
Adeline Coats Mar 2018
you shattered me
and you broke me
into pieces
but still somehow
i'm still alive
but sometimes
i wish other wise
Adeline Coats Nov 2017
do you like me
or not
i can't tell
one day
you act like it
and the next day
you don't
please
i'm begging you
tell me how you
really feel
even if it
breaks my heart
because
i'd rather die
knowing the answer
then live
without the answer
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
i crave you
in the deepest ways
your love
your touch
your sense
your smile
Adeline Coats Nov 2017
i never understood
what it felt to be in love
until i watched you leave
he
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
he
and when he looks at me
i swear i can't breathe
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
people say that
breakups are painful
but i can honestly
say that loving someone
who doesn't love you in return
is the most painful thing
Her
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
Her
she lost her herself in this broken world
the world that is so cruel
the society she lives in is toxic
she believes the words
“you're not good enough”
she loves this boy only to find out
he wanted her for one thing only
she is lost in her thoughts
she cries and is lonely
but she remains true to herself
she reminds herself
“this too shall pass”
she becomes hopeful
she starts to have faith that things will work out
not in the way she planned
but in the way God plans
she began to find herself in
books, music, drawing, nature
however she found her true happiness
but it wasn’t found in
boys or books or music or drawing or nature
but it was simply found in God
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
can't you see were like
fire and rain
hoping that one day
we'll be the same
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
i'm drowning in my own thoughts
wishing i could tell you how i really feel
but i can't so instead i pretend to not care
i can't let you see that part of me
the part where i long for you
the part where i wish you knew how i truly felt
the part of me that aches
because you'll never feel the same way
about me as i do about you
it *****
knowing that i can't tell
you all the words i've been
dying to say you
so instead i push you away
i pretended we never were friends
i pretended that you never existed
i pretended you meant nothing to me
so that i could get my thoughts
to stop killing me
Adeline Coats Mar 2018
i don't wanna
be a replacement
i just want
commitment
i don't wanna
be your second choice
i just want
to be your first choice
i don't wanna
be your first
i just want
to be your last
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
i saw the way you looked at her
your eyes sparked
it was as if you
were seeing the sun
for the first time
i saw the way you started to smile
when she started to laugh
i saw the way you felt sad
when she didn't notice you
i saw you the way you felt
when other people
were talking to her
and you weren't
i saw the reflection of you in me
you loved her but i loved you
she gave you nothing but
you still loved her
you gave me nothing
but i still loved you
you see its a chain reaction
she loves him
you love her
and i love you
Adeline Coats Nov 2017
once you've been in love
you don't love again
because your heart
has already been
given away
to someone
who doesn't deserve it
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
you're the nightmare
that i can never wake up from
Adeline Coats Dec 2017
i guess
you forgot that
our eyes spoke
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
thank you for being
my very best friend
thank you for being
the one who i can go to
thank you for
always listening to me
thank you for
changing my life
thank you jesus
Jesus this is for you
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
as i sat on the cold tile
tears running down me
i found that i was simply
lost
i didn't know what to do
didn't know who to tell
because i was simply tired
tired of
this world
tired of me
tired of loving you
when you didn't love in return
tired of fighting for you
when you were fighting for her
tired of being me
maybe i thought
if i was her
would i still be tired of myself?
Adeline Coats Nov 2017
and of course
right as i start
to have feelings
for someone
they are already
talking to someone else
Adeline Coats Jan 2018
i say that i'm done
with you
but yet i can't help but go back
to you
Adeline Coats Feb 2018
you were the
greatest memory
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
to you

you are beautiful
in case no one told you
you are brave
in case no one told you
your are strong
in case no one told
you are more than the numbers on the scale
in case no one told you
you are more than the choices that you make
in case no one told you
you are loved
in case no one told you
you are here for a reason
in case no one told you
you are a child of God
in case no one told you
Adeline Coats Oct 2017
you were the fire
that ignited
my soul
you were the pieces
that shattered
my heart
you were the one
who haunted
my thoughts
you were the one
you were the one
for me

— The End —