How do we keep it, the wanting of something, the unspoken need?
Patience is like a bird sitting in a tree on a windy, spring day
The silence of a room
The beautiful and needed experience, it is loneliness viewed through
the eyes of a loved one

The noticeable logic of patience when it is hard to bear
When it is finally ours, we feel it sitting peacefully in us,
Wanting at times, to BREAK

You said you would cook for me
only if I read you a chapter
words heating up the stove

You said my name
washing the dish naked

I spoke of a moment
before the Ecstasy

Eyes folding back
nails digging deep

In that moment
you said my name

Coffee and Eggs
bodies and legs

I said your name
looking over the Sunday paper

Man's shirt on a woman's body
One button buttoned

Tangled

In this coming moment
I say your name

Of memories past
Of present looks
Of futures vast

Of sporting triumphs
A lovers glance
Of faulty hopes
Encounters - per chance

Of children's play
A parents pride
To smile a smile
And feel inside

To shade a frown
To hide a tear

Find that
Find that
Smile - Somewhere

Personalized experience
What is anxiety
Can it be explained
Can it be understood
The minute by minute
Daily experience
Is anxiety in its simplistic form just FEAR
How to survive being afraid for 52 years
I want to tell you/ I just don't know how
How to live with fear but not let anybody know
Does it show
How to speak understanding about feelings...
This is why I sleep so much
Why I seek out sleep
A brain at rest..Asleep
Thoughts I have that are in no way good for my body
A tiny constant stabbing if you will

FEAR
Of everything ahead of me
So common that it doesn't always register mentally
It just attacks my body
A sensation of unease
Manifesting in body heat
Body Heat...The worst
A horrible companion
It will be what kills me
All of it/wrapped up together like a bag over the head

Anxiety/Fear/Shame
What is shame
Fear of you knowing me
The irrational self Awareness of me
You will not like me
You will point at me
You will be disappointed

People
You scare me so
Not knowing what you will do
Not knowing what you will say

Anxiety/Fear/Shame/Sensitivity
What is sensitivity
To feel more than to know
To hear more than is said
To see more than is visible
To replay when it has ended
To search for more than is found
To fear more than is real
To say less than is needed
To mourn more than is lost

I am not too sensitive
I am me
I am not too anything
You are not less anything
You are you
Meet me halfway

To Think
Thinking is the dog chasing the tail
Exhaustion wills out
To Sleep
So much energy to simply exist
I am not weak
I am tired

Robert Keaty