Something has gone awry inside me
Like the taste of milk right before it goes off
Still works but not quite right and not for long
I dream of drinking till stupor
A blur
Of swaying rhythmically in a crowd- lost in a lonely wave of other lifeless souls
Pretending to be living life
Perhaps that is life
But all we seem to be doing is escaping
Because escaping is easy
What is hard is routine
Of roots
Of follow throughs
Not falling out
Of learning instead of leaning
Of moving forward
Moving on from those whove dragged us down
Even if down is where it's easy to hide
To complain
That life isn't right
When we are doing nothing to solve the wrong
What's wrong with wallowing in self pity?
It's no self disservice if sorrow is the end goal
But if you get to pick which way to point your pointless life
Why pair yourself with sadness when you can chose an other wife

Stretched out like starfish in oceans of meadows
with fractal goggles for eyes
we followed the footsteps of the breeze in the grass
below bismuth bugs in nacre skies

our minds began bobbing between
the confetti of chattering crowds
sheltered by the shade of the breathing pea green trees
and cyan sky spilling marshmallow clouds

slips of thought escape our lips
but trapped are we in a body
as mouth, nose, ears, eyes and fingertips
make their best guess at reality

perhaps there are more truths than sides in a circle
an infinite edge
for what is true if i can only sense?
is the tangerine sun really red
or simply a translation of a wavelength?
does hot and cold exist?
is a dish really sweet or sour?
soft because our fingers can’t feel the bumps?
or odourless because we’re ill and dour?

We fall into ourselves but stop and smile
because life is a surreal serendipitous surprise
so we bathe in the floating music
behind closed kaleidoscopic eyes

I am a blank
A space between words
That airless void
Of wingless birds

I am a vacant gaze
married to a vapid poise
Threadbare sighs
Eclipsing noise

Expiring dust as
I meander through a mesh of white washed walls
Empty corridors
And ashen floors

I am a limbo
A platitude of muted grey
A limp film of rust
flattening the fray

I am a milk-and-water puddle
Of sunken skin
I can’t care for a world
Which I’m no longer in

And i realised that our lives are asymptotic ribbons
slips in time and space
interlacing with others wisps of fabric
to form a silk cable trailing off into the dark afterglow of present and past
humanity is this cable
for we are our ancestors as much as our progeny are us
and the deceased are never dead
for they are the roots of our rope
the craftsmen of our circumstance
our past is our present
and the future is now
time, but a pinpoint on an infinite coil,
is not gone or coming

it just is.

I wish my unborn child the melody
of an autumn birth cerebrally sung
for autumn is a blood bath
a maroon pool of sylvan lung

an epitaph to summer's saturnalia
the season starts by grieving
the languid lechery and opiates
that caused our rapid rebukes to reasoning

in fear of fading frivolity 
we flare violent vermillion
our final frantic firework falls against the setting sun
revealing the silhouettes of our wooded skeleton

and although the fleeting, flattering emerald leaves
are the food of summer fun
It's our roots and branches that endure
the lonesome wintertide numb

fall is a reminder
my birthday gift to you
that since no animal is evergreen
find what deciduous existence means to you

so please lose yourself in summer my son
don't let those moist nights waste
but when the autumn comes my love
ensure your trunk remains

I fell out of love after one short ****
smears of crimson lust
exhaled across a bed panel of muted ebony
crumbled to cinders under the mechanical mantra
of *** for the sake of ***
a clinical coreography

don't you need
the fire when we ****
the chaos and urgency
of lawless wildfire smoldering the insipid
of howling fire trucks plunging down the purple etchings carved by our nails along the seams of our skin
i do
I subsist on the intensity of our denouements
our breathless deliriums
that we choked tonight with spent minds

you told me you were a rose so
bleed
bleed scarlet
bleed scarlet lechery
and repaint our carnal canvass red

you have been the keys to my shackles
and the guard at the gate

the wind in my sails
and the storm testing fate

you're the water in my lungs
but the flavour in my food

I must learn to accept you, since I am you
I am my fiercely fluctuating mood