He old her that he was uncomfortable around me. I know exactly why, because he did to me what he swore to himself he would never do. He became the demon that ruined him that pushed him over the edge, he did to me what drove him to take a whole bottle of pills. That’s why he is uncomfortable around me. He told me that i was his and he was mine and that I was the love of his life. He told her that I was his “backup” girl, or the girl he would run to if he was lonely.
He didn’t really love me.. He saw me as a broken, wounded, naive girl that would love him. That would validate his feelings. An easy target. A girl he could use and abuse then leave. What he did to me was almost as horrid as Ej. Ej used and abused me physically, He did the same thing mentally. Why would he do such a terrible thing? Why would he leave me questioning? Why would he deliberately hurt me? Why would he use me? Why would he do what he did to me with no motive? What did I do to him that made him do this? Why is he just like everyone else? Why didn’t I see it coming? He.. Why..

To my abuser,
I was naive to think what you did all those years was legitimate and right. The emotional abuse is the worst. “*******” “*****” “******”. Those words make me sick to my stomach. When I see you have texted me I show physical symptoms of sickness. But I am strong and I have overcome this abuse. I will not be held captive by your lies any longer.

Soft, serenity, surreal.
It has its own little world up there a world with nothing but today’s, no yestrday’s no tomorrows no what ifs no maybe’s only right now’s. The sky is the resting place it is safe soft calm. And as  I looked up and kissed the sky I realized that’s my forever home.

So alone she feels as she sits all alone in that dark room ready to do it all alone, jump off that building or down a bottle of pills or slit her small fragile scared wrist. As she sits contemplating the reasons to stay she finds but one, none. She is sad to sad for this life to sad for this world, she can not walk on this earth with the normal people she is to suffocated for that. She is too unlively for this living breathing working world, so at that moment she says goodbye and does all three.
She feels each pill slide down her throat in a candy like manner then she picks up the blade and feels a cool rush go through her hand as she slits one cut at a time1 2 3 4 each one deeper than the last, these bring her so high she felt like she could fly so she tries right off that 3 story building and takes a hard concrete crash landing and there lies that poor little sad girl everyone thought was better.