You think you can still get to me after all these years.
The years of torture that were beyond some of my worst fears.

Well I am out the other end and striving day by day.
Our daughters want nothing to do with you and that is how you'll pay.

You used me like a blow up doll, hurt me in and out.
It's taken years for me to speak up and let it all come out.

The haunting that's going through my mind while I am learning to say.
What horrible stuff you did to me every time you weren't away.

I used to blame myself for this I wasn't good enough.
And then I'd blame the way you were when you were on that stuff.

I now know that it wasn't me that made you do those things.
But I can't pretend I am ok with the memories it brings.

You'd push me to the floor and you'd get on top of me.
I'd cry so bad that when it stopped I could hardly see.

To start with it was just plain *** but then it got much worse.
You sodomised me so hard that my *** would feel it'd burst.

The worst thing that you done to me is hard for me to write.
You pushed a tin of polish in me I was too tired to fight.

You often used other things as you couldn't get hard .
I'm surprised with the pain I was in I'm not in the graveyard.

There was a time you'd wake me up by inserting your ****.
Into my mouth to make me gag so much that I was sick.

The worst thing was that all you said was it was married ***.
I promise u I am so glad that u r now my ex!

I'm sorry if I'm sometimes down
I really cannot help it
I just want it to go away
This feeling of being ****

If I could wave a magic wand
I'd make it go quite quickly
I would not be feeling very tired
And often very sickly

I often think u all would be
Better off without me
Friends and family not having to worry
If I'm sad or happy

I am trying very hard
To stay right here with you
But that is harder thank you think
When you feel so blue

I know I'm not the easiest person
To be around just now
As often you must really think
That I'm a moody cow

Please don't think that you're to blame
For any of this stuff
I know that I look happy most days
But it is just a bluff

I love you all so dearly
And I really will beat this
But it will take it's time
To come back from this abyss

I don't want to feel this *******
For very much longer
But day by day with all your help
I know I will get stronger

So please be patient with me
On my bumpy emotional ride
I can only get through all of this
With u by my side