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Joanne Murdoch Oct 2017
I'm sorry if I'm sometimes down
I really cannot help it
I just want it to go away
This feeling of being ****

If I could wave a magic wand
I'd make it go quite quickly
I would not be feeling very tired
And often very sickly

I often think u all would be
Better off without me
Friends and family not having to worry
If I'm sad or happy

I am trying very hard
To stay right here with you
But that is harder thank you think
When you feel so blue

I know I'm not the easiest person
To be around just now
As often you must really think
That I'm a moody cow

Please don't think that you're to blame
For any of this stuff
I know that I look happy most days
But it is just a bluff

I love you all so dearly
And I really will beat this
But it will take it's time
To come back from this abyss

I don't want to feel this *******
For very much longer
But day by day with all your help
I know I will get stronger

So please be patient with me
On my bumpy emotional ride
I can only get through all of this
With u by my side
Joanne Murdoch Jun 2017
Black cloud

You ask me why I'm feeling sad
That life's not really all that bad
I lie to u with a forced smile
"I'll b ok it'll take a while"

You tell me to snap out of it
That life's not really all that ****
I lie to u without a frown
And say I'm fine when I'm really down

You say just look how good things are
You've got a family,friends and a car
I lie to you and simply say
Yeah you're​ right I'm just having a bad day

You say to me it's all in your head
Get a grip and get out of bed
I lie to you and say "you're right"
When secretly I'm losing this fight

You tell me i don't need my pills
That all i need to do is chill
I lie to you and say I'll try
When all i want to do is die

Next time that you want to speak
Please help me to get through that week
By telling me you will be there
And simply showing that you care

I don't choose to feel this way
I hope it goes away some day
I really want to be happy too
And hope I can with the help of you
My depression and suicidal thoughts

— The End —