I looked in your eyes
And I saw in your soul
The passion and colour
Of unquechable fire and
Unplumbable depths
And I,
I jumped,
Feet first,
Into wild abandon

We dance noses almost touching
Our arms and hands
Placed as the style dictates,
Arms in tension and legs poised yet the
Greatest electricity flows eye to eye
And soul to soul

I see the fire within your eyes,
The smouldering passion and threat
Within your soul and
I blow gently,
Feel the heat blaze
White hot with that desire
Which I would quench

Yours the hand that found the wolf
Hid deep and quiet
In a cave that none could find,
Yours the hand that coaxed
Him forth to the light of day,

Yours the hand that provoked a howl,
That echoed through my soul
In shades of history long forgot,
Yours the hand that soothed
The hackles raised in vulnerability

Yours the scent that woke the man,
That made life a thing
To grasp and relish,
To make of me the best I can
To be the best for you,

Yours the hand and heart and soul
On which I am imprinted - and
From which I doubt I'll e'er be free,
You my lady and you my love,
Only you, only you, only you

Came and will soon be gone,
She came and did not bend the rules
She smashed them into
Dust

No usual rules of engagement,
No control no limited investment
Just she
And I
And google translate

Oh and a world of
Uncertainty viewed from
My back foot yet
This minor humiliation
Will not **** me,

Knowing this
I am relaxed and do not fear
The mockery nor yet
React in anger at the slight
Of shared laughter at my expense

What is, is and
What will be will,
Or not transpire,
So I will wait and I
Will see what comes

Maybe good and maybe more
But probably almost
Certainly nowt
And nights and
Nothing more than friends

And that too is fine

I don’t like blondes,
They bite and tear out the still beating heart
Of me their victim,
But I do like you

I don’t put myself out for blondes
Because when all is said and done
They are just not worth it
But I waited four hours in the cold
For you

I much prefer a brunette,
You know where you are with brown,
But it’s blonde hair in my dreams these days
And it’s not a cause to frown

Blondes are predatorsand have more fun
As they casually tear up lives,
But you are just independent,
And competent and kind,
Maybe just maybe- who knows if it’s true?

One Day maybe one day
I might much more
Than just like
You

Is way too short and small
A word to describe
How I found myself
Just now

I whom nothing fazes
Just ran into a door,
My heart and pulse
Erratic in extreme

And my mind a whirl
Of "oh good Lord"
And "what have I done?"
And more especially "WHY?"

Yet having shared that
I always dare a dare
And having dared myself indeed
What other course remains

But to jump right in
With two left feet
And await the splash
However big, however brash

The response may be,
Yet softness and shyness
Ruled the day today
And no taunt did pierce my heart

Which oddly for all my
Determined non investment
(And there is a word indeed!)
Was quaking at the impending response,

It's odd how things creep up
When you least expect and
Worse the grip they seize
Too late to be removed,

Yet this surprise has
Been a minor joy,
A healing for a torn heart
And a forward looking

Ray of hope

Is not a word yet
It's a concept I new discovered
Since I met you
And since you met me,

You with your inscrutability
And Google-augmented English,
Me with my heart on my sleeve
And all Google Korean

Yes it's true
That language matters not yet
I never communicated so hard nor
I feel so well before,

Hours I have spent in your company
Leg pressed to leg in coach
And selfies shot in so many
Valued experiences

And soon you will be gone,
Perhaps forever,
Perhaps to return in Spring,
Perhaps to seek leave to remain,

Who knows but I do know
I hope this friendship or relationship
Or whatever it may be,
May indeed be and indeed continue

In whatever form,
Because for whatever worth it has
And for whatever difference it makes
I find myself more than fond of you

Im once bitten and thirty times shy
Yet here you are inside
My aegis and I?
Well I quite like it!

Today I sailed
As we did,
I sailed at sea
As we did,

The sea was kind
And the wind was playful
As they were to us,
As we were once
With one another,

I sailed with someone else,
Someone new
Who had not sailed before,
But trusted me

She was scared of capsize
But trusted the odds,
My forty years experience
And a single tip

These had to be
Good odds of staying dry
And enjoying
A day without swimming

But my confidence
This time was misplaced
The wind and sea
Had other ideas

And so in the midst of Weymouth Bay
Where once I would have sailed with you
A windward capsize
Broke my pride,

A rudder broke my head
Cold shock broke my will
And a boat sailed beam ends
Away from me

But another day and fiercer wind
And a hard pressed persuasion
Found us asail once more
With others

This time we were whooping
This time all went well
This time my skill returned,
And I am
Over
You

Trains and their journies
Come in all shapes
And indeed
All sizes,

Mine was six feet
And three inches
Long and maybe
Wider than should,

It ran at various
Speeds and with
All sorts of success
And indeed of failure,

I guess a few first class
Carriages and a load of thirds,
With a well crammed
Car of baggage,

Arguable the quality
And standard of the journey too
Yet never mind it's aims,
That departing platform one?

That service once
Was James

Death they say
Is the great leveller,
Claiming rich and the poor,
The good and the bad,
Every race and creed and gender yet

They never mention
The release engendered
By that final diagnosis,
The expert's
"I'm afraid I have bad news",

No time no point in worrying more,
Nowhere to run and
No place to hide,
No more to say,
No bargain to be struck,

Just knowledge that the
World will still be turning
But I have no task left
Beneath the sky,
But to pen this verse and then

Just die

Who knew how much,
Indeed how well
I loved you?
You didn't,
They didn't,

Who knew I would have
Given up my all?
Indeed in fact I was so doing?
You didn't,
They didn't,

Who knew that behind
My flawed action was
Not a jot of cynical or sinister motive?
You didn't,
They didn't

Who knew it was real,
And true and forever
My love?
You didn't,
They didn't

Who knows it's irrelevant now,
Too late for that reconciliation
I dreamed and prayed for?
Who knows I'm dying?
Ah,
Just me

When we were together
There were ballbearings
In our lives and in our poetry
And in mine in latter days
One huge one with
Mass unarguable,

That ball of steel moved
On glistening rails,
No more sped up than slowed,
Proceeding on its way
Towards a life or solution
Beyond our ken

When the ruckus hit
And brown hit fan we might
Yet have overcome as it's a huge ball
Capable of squashing any
**** in our road
Yet you suddenly are gone

And I do not get how
You escaped the bearings path,
It and we were set for good
Yet here you aren't,
You're on a different track
With smaller bearings now

And seem unaware you ever saw
That sweet gleaming steel
That bound us once,
But that is you and you
Are weak while I remain
Ballbearing bound

I used the wind alone
Just me in my boat
And savouring every second
Of solitude,
Every ounce of effort to
Master the elements,

Then you came and suddenly
I was unfaithful to my solitude
And unfaithful to the wind,
I savoured the sight and sound
Of you as crew and sense
Of shared endeavour,

But sharing did not last
And you are no more my crew
In any sense at all,
And sail was spoiled by you
Not there nor was mine own
Company sufficient,

But the wind was kind,
The wind saw,
The wind understood.
The wind was loyal to my heart,
And the wind - the wind
Was waiting

Loyalty flies in the face of sense
While love and friendship
Makes a fool of self
And self comes second

Well you were not worth
My loyalty nor me as friend,
Well my self is first now
And repairing a life un-maintained,

It may be a slow process
And it may take pain
But this is MY life *****
And it's mine again

Loss
That's what they call it,
Or mourning,
But I've lost before and
I've mourned
Before
Yet never ever
Known pain like this

Pragmatic,
That's me to a tee,
Yet pragmatism ain't cutting it
This time
Because I fear and I feel
Your departing
Before the decision
Or announcement made

And it hurts!
Oh sweet Lord it hurts,
In ways I cannot clamp down,
Or externalise or
Stop the feeling of,
A crippling *******
Of sobbing deep inside
Where none can see

And you're reading our poems
Which might be hope
Or might be farewell
I just don't know,
And not knowing is bad enough
At any time but this?
This matters so much more,
This is killing me

Objectively I know we should part,
Objectively I know you'll struggle
Because you love and desire me
On so many levels,
And to not have me would ****,
Yet is it enough my sweet?
Is it enough
To save you n me?

And if not?
If not enough?
If I lose you to another,
If I never get to hold you,
Make love with you
Fill you with my love and
All I am?
How do I then live?

"Know that I care"
She said,
But care was fickle
And changed
Its nature and consequence
While my care stays constant
And suddenly out of tune
And unacceptable

"Know that I care,
That I am there"
She said as if blind
To the impossibility
Of that being wholly true
Or of being ever called upon
By untuned unreciprocated
Love or need

"Know that I care"
When I hear of
Your demise in a fast boat,
In improbable storm
At high speed,
Know that I care
And love you wholly
And now too late

You've taken my beau away
Without a thought and then
Do not care,
"It's not appropriate"
To give it back again

And you do not know,
Or perhaps you did,
Or do,
How much that sobriquet
Meant and means to me

Or how keen and deep the knife wound
Through my chest
And heart at losing it,
And feeling torn as you from
Me draw part

Til nothing left
No name of love or
Of affection remains,
Just some bloke you knew
Who's name was James

Once I wrote "Know that I care"
And it tore me apart
I thought,
But I did know then you'd hit me
Quite so hard,
Or quite how well we fit,

For the first  time in my life I've found that
Which I sought over fifty long and
Lonely years
My match,
My love,
My souls mate,

With every shared moment,
Afloat,
In bed,
Unwell at a party,
My heart became more bound
In You

Every picture painted and photo took
(No final launch in my future now!)
Every verse we penned,
Every view we shared,
Every night we spent,
Irrevocably cemented my love,

Every entry into my life has
Made me more yours,
You make every song lyric real,
You inform every aspect
Of my life
You make me aspire to better things,

And it is you my Lady,
You You You and only You,
You for who I yield my privacy,
And you with whom
I would share
My time remaining

I'm finally liberated
From seeking that one person
In my life,
Finally free to live
The life I was meant to,
That life with You

And what would I do
Without that smart mouth?
What would I do breathing air?
But my head has never been clearer,
Nor my heart,
Nor my soul,

Yours the hand that found the wolf
Hid deep and quiet
In a cave that none could find,
Yours the hand that coaxed
Him forth to the light of day,

Yours the hand that provoked a howl,
That echoed through my soul
In shades of history long forgot,
Yours the hand that soothed
The hackles raised in vulnerability

Yours the scent that woke the man,
That made life a thing
To grasp and relish,
To make of me the best I can
To be the best for you,

Yours the hand and heart and soul
On which I am imprinted - and
From which I doubt I'll e'er be free,
You my lady and you my love,
Anna you, Anna you, Anna you

Once you bestowed your favour
Upon this knight
And won his heart
And sword and shield,
Won his love
His effort on your behalf
And every protection in his power,

But you were and are no lady,
For you ascribe no true value
To a knight's devotion
Nor perceive the value of
That which you cast hence,
As if nothing,

But I remain a knight,
Armed and armoured,
Still dangerous,
Still deadly and inviolate,
Wounded maybe yet bleeding inside,
Not outside where you may see,
And I'll take another's favour,

One day perhaps you will see
The error of your ways,
One day the dragons and brigands
May tear your world apart
But I will not be there,
You'll see my strong arms that once
Were yours

Around another,
Keeping her safe,
Making her great,
Being with her,
And as we walk away
You'll see this knight will not
Look
Back.

You pierced my armour
When we first met
And left me all at sea
With sails bad set

You were so much more,
You were enough,
Enough my eye no
Longer strayed

Enough my focus was
Just on thee,
On keeping you safe
And close to me,

Enough that all
I saw was you
Enough there
Was no question who

Was first in my heart
Enough,
No other could
Ever start and my love for thee
Will never end