All around me runners,
Running from or running to,
Running aimless
Or just plain running scared,

I'm not a runner,
I'm not built to run,
I'm built to stand and fight,
To fight and not to yield,

But some things cannot
Be fought
Some things cannot be won,
Death cannot be bartered,

Death cannot be bought,
But death can be resisted,
For me and for those I know
Death need not be final,

Need not be a final blow,
So runners pause - walk awhile,
Consider the cause of your speed,
Walk a while

Ask what do you really need?
I'm standing now and defending,
The scared and frightened and lame,
I'm helping and leading and healing

That terror which has no name
So stand with me
Or run on by,
I'm standing here still fighting,

I'm not being meek
And I'm not being mild,
I'm ****** if I'll run away waiting,
Just passively waiting to die!

I wonder if this might be
The last,
Indeed most certainly it has been the best,
The greatest leg up,
The final boost to better
That I perform,

So much history overcome,
So much pain,
Such loss and sadness,
Such tragedy incarnate
Across so many years
It scarcely may be borne

By my shoulder,
Nor mopped by my soul's
Sponge no matter the trying,
Yet slowly now we see
The change,
That change sought so long,

And even as that change rises,
Even as hope and happiness
Reach self sustainment,
I fail in equal measure,
Slowly and inexorably
Fading away,

No longer blazing,
But burning,
Sputtering,
Failing,
An ember,
Gone.

And so again things come to close,
That which started hesitantly
Yet in hope
Just like that begun
In high expectation
And in confidence,

Like that subtle switch from summer
Into autumn
With the knowledge of an
Incipient winter
Which cannot be dodged,

I feel the change from
Convergent through
Parallel to now just
A little divergent,
And the first glint
Of clear water between,

I feel an oh so familiar ache
In the knowledge
Of that change,
That loss,
The passing of someone and something
Highly valued,

And I feel

Inestimably

Sad

Another day's dawning
With attendant bird's chorus
Backdrop to my awakening,
A new sun's beaten gold orb
Hauls over the horizon hard edge
As my feet pad,
With the rest of me,
To ablution,
Shower,
My morning tea,

Over cereal my mind
Considers the day ahead,
The tasks ahead,
The people with whom
I'll interact,
The ones I'll try to help
To better things
And higher flight in life
And in that moment
I ponder my own mortality

Which at some point
Will come home to roost
Although I dont know
Quite when,
Nor where,
Nor how,
Back in my room
A familiar lump is strangely
Still beneath
The duvet
Oh!

That day mortality
Comes home to roost,
That day briefly
Regarded each morning,
That time for this flawed
And challenged man
To cross the bar,
Head West,
To buy the farm,
To turn home,
That day it seems

Was now