I drank to breath
Breathed to drink
Numbing all the pain and
Joy away...
My eyes swollen from tears unshed
Not knowing how dead
I'd become...
Thinking control was what I needed
Thinking another route would be my saving only to lead down the same hole
incaged In the same jail
only became my undoing...
while Fears consuming my day away
Running in circles drowning in whisky soaked skin,  whisky soaked invisible tears, whisky poison!... But only saw my friend...
My friend! The one who never left...My friend!  The one to hush the voices in my head!  My friend!  my friend??? who told me this lie???! He became a Killer in disguise wanting nothing
but to see me 6 feet under...
Sobriety is freedom
They all say
Just one day at a time
That's all I need to much waste living in yesterday to much stress living in tomorrow...
But who am I? This person I can't recognise
I don't know her not sure
I like her...
Afraid to speak...what will they think of the me
I can't create without my drank...
I fear the loneliness that lies in wait where'd they all go these friends of past mistakes fake if only I known sooner...
Sobriety I'm told gets better if I hang
But sometimes my hanging on is weak...
Sometimes I feel like screaming!
HEY!  I feel alone... Alone lies from satan
Trying to get me shakin
I may not have friends to hang but alone
I'm not...
Still...
Sometimes I feel like crying I look around and I'm sitting alone in the silence of my car in the silence...
Silence where my head starts yelling
Making me spin through all my past failures,
Screaming! at me making me wonder
Will it ever get better?
But they say sobriety does
and ill grow stronger out of this pit
That I'm trying to climb out of.
My vision is blurred I can't see farther
Than these tears that are flooding
outside of me!
But I know that my bottle is sitting in wait in the grave made by my whisky friend,
So I'm hoping and I'm trusting
in those put in my path,
Hoping and trusting in their faith,
Until I can see and hear more clearly
Until I can find who and what I am.