A thought hit me
so very random it was                        
I realized that I was completely alone
No I was not lonely      
But I knew I had no one  
I did not want to be bothered
I did not want friends  
I sought isolation
I wanted to be alone
With my thoughts
My music
My books
And that was enough for me

The light shines at the end of the road
Glimmering as beautiful as gold
When I reach it what road should I take
Im far too naive for this trip
The decision almost impossible to make
I cannot wait for someone to guide me
This is a journey that I must take alone
Which street leads me to my dream
Which one will lead me to a disaster
Both roads look great from my view
What if neither one is what it seems
So ill stand here with the light next to me
Waiting for a sign or opportunity
At the end of an empty road is where Ill stay
Until A strong wind pushes me forces me to a pathway

No one ever cares to ask how am I feeling.
I always assure that everyone is feeling okay Though noone ever checks on me.
My problems are disregarded.
There are situations worst than mine of course.
I am never the receiver of advice.
But I always give it.
No one cares how sad I may be.
No one cares to comfort me.
No one cares to know.
No one gives me answers.
No one gives me anything.
I dont get help.
After all,
I am the helper.

I loved you.
Not for who you were,
But for who I wanted you to be.
The perfection you held
In my mind, was limitless.
There was no wrong you could do.
Every moment with you
Was like a fairytale
But then something changed
You changed
My thoughts changed.
All your flaws became obvious to me.
All at once,
you fell short of perfection.
You were no longer my perfect movie scene.
My expectations for you were unachievable.
I made you perfect
But somehow,somewhere, reality hit me.
I didn't love you.
I loved what my mind created.
I loved what I wanted you to be.
And for that,
I am truly sorry.

Everytime I believe I am truly happy. I lose grasp of it all.Like a baby snatched from the wound.
Taken from where they feel safe, cared for, warm and comfortable. Its taken from me, not shortly after I've learned that it was my home.  I can never feel safe when Ive finally found that comfort zone. I know it won't be long before it will be taken from me. Even when I shelter it as if it were my own child protecting it from any possible harm and any chance of me losing it. It's still taken away. Taken away so often that I no longer want it.Maybe this is how it is supposed to be.Once you lose something so many times.... its clear that you don't deserve it.