Now life has pushed me to my knees
And pressed my face into the dirt
I hear your screaming in my ear
I feel your sadness in my chest
It's hard to hold back all these tears
When I know that you are in despair
And after all I've done to protect you
It seems all I've done
is let you down

Again and again I continue to fail you
Again and again I have proven myself
To be no more than a scared, foolish child
Why is it that every time I try to do right
I end up doing something wrong
I made a promise to you
That no matter what I'd be there
Now I see it would be better if I just left
And never came back

To want something
So badly
And having it so
close
You can taste it on your lips
Its warmth radiating
on your arms
But to be so afraid
Of reaching out
And embracing it
To be so terrified
Of getting too close
Fear of it running
away
That you didn't
reach for it
And now it's gone
And it's never coming back
You miss it so badly
you wish you could
turn back time
And go back to when
it was so close
Only an arms distance
You make up memories
Of what could have been
And wishing so badly
That it had really happened
The pain is unbearable
It keeps you up at night
It invades all your thoughts
It takes the joy out of your life
Everywhere you go
You wish they were there
Everyone you meet
You wish it was them
You love them so much
You hate that it hurts
You wish they were with you
And it kills you
To be apart
You keep telling yourself
That your over it
That you've moved on
That it wouldn't have worked out
The lies you tell yourself
Hoping that if you
say it enough
Eventually you'll believe it
And the torment
The pain
The sadness
Would finally end
But what hurts the most
What really makes you angry
What truly makes you
die inside
What makes you want to crawl
Into a corner
And cry your heart out
What makes all this pain
So intolerable
Is that had you only reached out
Had you only embraced it
Had you not been so afraid
Then maybe
Just maybe
It would be with you
Right Now
That's a bitter pill to swallow.