I woke up this morning
Two years older
With the epilogue to a stranger's eulogy etched up and down my arms
And through the cracks in the window I could see clearly
The ashes from last nights cataclysm
Drifted lazily on the cold breeze to settle on the front lawn
Without much of a commotion
I haven't felt clarity like this in a long time
And honestly I never saw it coming
Nor could I have, I hope not at least
And I hope today I don't feel the need to be
Anybody in particular
And I hope today is one of the days I don't need to obsess
Over the symmetry in the way you light your cigarettes
In the passenger seat or the back seat
Primary or secondary
Revolution or complacency
It's all the same dilemma you're going through, really
And it's none of my business but it keeps me up at night regardless
Two years older and not a ******* inch closer to anything

A warped door swings off of broken hinges
A doctor stumbles into the hallway, sick with indifference
It's out of his hands now anyway, that'll be how he falls asleep tonight
6 Adderall in the morning, 10 Xanax at night
An atheist rolling the dice is really not so dramatic

Fever induced haze stole the dreams from the onset of sleep
Turned them to cigarettes lit at the gas pump
And indignation down both ends of the street
The first day we ran like bats out of Hell
The next we collapsed entirely
Swallowed by the Little Miami, ending up somewhere new
Like we planned it all along
All eyes averted as the calender hung itself
For the last time, and cried for November the twenty fourth
But the time stamped behind our eyes remained
Deep December year round
No fire came from the skies to melt the lonely West like the preacher told us
But we'd stopped listening long ago
So who knows how the speech ended, or if it just trailed off in tepid resignation
I suppose we could always just wait for the world to melt itself instead

I.
The Plea

Dearest philosopher, circling your gaze round the sun
Grow you not weary?
In celestial bodies of constant revolution and esoteric motivation your passions lie
Invisible to your yearning eyes,
These things which are your blood be they not also your bane?
Grow you not bitter? Grow you not jaded or deranged?
Even now, hear the apothecary as he calls your name
He speaks, his voice in shambles, and says
"Come, oh dear philosopher!
Many jars have I gathered here, many substances contained
Infinite combinations are possible!
Tell me, friend, for you are my last and best of hope, how can I combine them to thwart the stalwart and unfeeling advance of death?"
And at this look you now to Heaven, dear philosopher?
What in the stars could move you to speak?
Grow you not sullen, defeated or weak?
Where comes your strength in your belief?
Listen now! For the mother is on the rooftop
And hear how she cries for your attention
"Oh dear philosopher, of your aid I am most in need!
For my only son has died, and indeed
My womb is bare as the rooms of my house
And so I beseech you,
My angel, my fate is for you to allow
How may I speak to my boy again?
With your help, may he yet live?"
Speak to her friend, but first speak now to me
Speak fast and speak true for time is short
I stand here on the edge of the Earth
And with these voices I raise my own
Dear philosopher, for my sins how may I atone?
My dear, dear philosopher
Tell me now and waste no breath
How can I make this life worthy of death?

On the corner of 3rd Street and another downward spiral
The ghosts of saints drift above the haunted concrete,
And blood like cathedral bells stains the skyline
And they allowed the city of pariahs a goodnight kiss
And to die, by night and be reborn
Three days hence in resounding glory
But their utopia was stillborn
The sky stank of gasoline and there was a ****** on exit 52
The taste of cheap cigarettes was inescapable
And sic transit gloria mundi!
Tagged on the cathedral wall
The wind that howled was frightened and the skyscrapers echoed the cries of the abandoned
Hallelujah, haligh
Let them join hands and sing!
Let them meet unholy demise with divine grace!
And let their voices be carried off on the lonely wind
To disappear like so many ghosts in the snow

The Midwest trembled at your departure
And the way the wolves howled that night will haunt me till I die
This valley was wild and mighty once,
Now it's scorched Earth and holy floods as far as the eye can see
And morose the sky that fell, and sent the ravens all away
They used to mock you every day
Catholic school left you with knuckles bruised and heart bleeding,
And you were never really the same
Hell has thrown it's jaws open wide
And the view is the same from either side
But the ***** continues to flow,
And if the Lord is truly our shepherd then our cup should runneth over
An Adderall fever set your bones aflame as you screamed south on 75
Like you thought if you slowed down for a minute the ghosts would drag you back
Writhing, to the town where you were born
And you never apologized, nor should you ever
For the way your fists were always clenched
Or the way your jaw was set
Immovable and impassive as the slate gray sky
And the parking lot you sold your burdens in
What could they have known of it then, or now for that matter?
They were tossing salt over their shoulders for luck
When the news came through the grapevine
And I couldn't help but feel relieved
For the lone wolf dies when the winter comes,
And here the winter never leaves