My belly, growing envious of swollen ones,
Cause I can’t conceive the thought of you,
Wiping dried milk from my ***** four years past its expiration date.
Knowing all along he was my miracle,
But he's gone now,
So all I have left is my dreams of you.
Barely making it pass the positive,
All you did was cause me pain,
Angry at the audacity of me having hope in you, Losing you,
Flushing memories,
All I want to do is hold on to you,
Reaching for you thru undeserving bodies, Sneaking mistakes pass my ovaries,
But my eggs would never embrace you,
Learn to love you like I could,
Nurture you like a mother should, but im failing you, Living in a body that deceives me,
I grow symptoms of you,
Lying in miss-conceptions,
Monthly reminders that there may never be another you,
Quietly, searching for you in my future,
Praying for another miracle,
Yet to be cradled & I’m missing you.
Letting time escape me,
Thinking maybe I’ll get over you,
But I yearn for you more,
Infatuated with the idea of you..... -13' (unfinished)

What are we but a melodramatic love song.
Lust into love,
One night stands turned into a forever dance, Moving to our rhythm,
Willingly settling into second,
Just to keep some since of piece of him,
Finding peace in him,
Dangling hope of just being present,
I just want to live in his positions,
And die dreaming of laying in his arms,
Holding on to bodies that aren't belonging to me,
As if to waive promiscuity,
To be proud, Oh to be proud,
Feeling nothing more than misjudged,
But judged rightfully so,
I just wanted to love him,
Lived in such a foolish state,
Breaking down complexities,
As if love could be so simple as one sided,
As if i had a choice,
Knowing we had a choice,
Admitting in my moment,
Clinging to what would hold me the longest, Running from his wrath into one of my own,
Stuck.
In the eye of the storm,
Not progressing, and content.
Content, but lonely Oh so lonely
To have him, but not to be his, to be his but have no claim to his heart.
No, not confused,
Just wishing that the truth could be written more beautifully.
Looking to the future for answers in the now, Should we stay Or move on,
Trying to go full circle,
Lost in a triangle Surrounded by sharp edges, Looking for a way out
But I choose to stay I surrender,
No longer willing to fight the truth.
I just wanted to love you With nothing in return, Stuck In uncompromising situations, but I stay, still. Hoping happiness will find me here.
Stuck.
She loves him, I love him, he loves her,
And yet I find myself just existing
Trying to find my place but theres no place for me here.
Drifting.
Awaiting the day ill no longer need him as a crutch, Cause I'm broken, Oh to be broken
Gave myself wholeheartedly Only to end up brokenhearted,
***** of any chance of forever,
Daydreaming of broken possibilities,
Looking into mirrors, Staring at ruins Figments of who I once was but ruined,
So I stay.
Still. Waiting for happiness to find me here.
               -13'

I’m a work in progress, 
Rebuilding walls man brought down, 
Finding myself defenseless, 
So blinded by deception, 
Wouldn’t know he loved me, Even if he meant it Constantly sabotaging one love for the next, Becoming selfish with hearts, 
Looking for one that fits my needs, 
Instead of me fulfilling his, 
Lost, 
Drowning in faults, 
With no way to reach to the surface, 
Tired of falling into the word victim, 
Beating myself up for being me, 
Baggage, A leave it or take it deal, 
He broke my heart, so I broke his. 
Yet I’m still broken, 
Looking for you to heal wounds, 
That was never meant to be seen, 
Scars cut so deep, I couldn’t help but let it be  Working on my progress, But nothings progressing, My heart goes in and out remission, 
Holding onto thoughts that you’ll stay till the end,Knowing your loves’ not a guarantee, 
Fighting with words “I can only be me” 
Realizing I have never been enough, 
But who am I changing for? Him? Or me? 
Working on my progress, But nothings progressing,Wanting to be more than just a scratch on his surface, 
Not another notch on the wall, 
Lying in adulterous, I see no future in, 
Yet I give my life, 
Loving you, loving me, 
But it will never be enough. 
Yet I give myself willingly, 
Promiscuity screws me, 
I’ll take the blame, Proving the guilt lies in me.Starving to find a better me, 
Free to love you the way you deserve, 
Passing you over, for someone worth less than you Terrified to give myself to you, 
So I leave, 
Running towards the nearest warm embrace, 
Yet you stay, yet you wait Loving me still, 
With every fault, Wanting me still, With every fault,Who am I changing for? Me? Or Him? 
I’m a work in progress, I’ll admit that