I wonder if you will ever stop hurting me, if we will ever stop hurting each other
I understand your intentions, after all, I've seen your soul
as pure as it was, you've hurt me continuously until I could no longer sense the pain
all I knew was that I carried it around with me, it became a part of me
it would be my first morning thought
it would crawl up inside my body and leave me trembling on the bathroom floor
it would put its hand in mine and walk through entire tragedies with me
the pain would never let me go
it would put me to sleep but never at ease
and I tried to shut it out
to lock the doors of my mind
but even months after the pain stopped occurring
it came rushing back
leading scars and flashbacks behind it
and you allowed it to take over my head and break through my chest with not an ounce of mercy
you could see through my soul
you knew your way around my mind
and so, you allowed it
you will never truly understand this but I helplessly fell in love you
I have written you thousands of millions of words that I have never sent
you were my best friend, my family, my entire world
I would have cherished you until the day I died
and now I understand more than ever that what doesn't **** you only prepares you for emotional death
where were you when I needed your apology, your presence, perhaps not your sympathy, but your commitment
where were you?
nowhere to be found, that is where you were
and now you're everywhere and I don't want you but I need you to go
to take your words, your memories, your entire existence that means nothing, and go
because I've had enough and I can't take any more of this
I don't need a closure and I certainly don't need you
you took years of my life and made them yours, you took my time, my secrets, my patience, my kindness and made it all yours
what more could you possibly want?
I wish I could write more
but my words fail me
because you took everything
and left me with a lack of expression
and a void that I'm still trying to fill

I couldn't explain what is it about you
I only put words together and formed sentences in hope that through reading them you'd look at yourself the way I look at you
I felt a certain kind of vibe with you
one that could bring peace to a troubled soul
and I tried to make sense out of it but the only conclusion is that
what you spread reflects who you are as a person and what you are is the answer to every question, the remedy to every wound,
the fixation to every damage
you're the bundle of my joy
the source of my inspiration
you're the opening of each
sunrise and the closure
of every sunset
you bring the best out of the worst, the words out of the poet,
the colors out of the artwork
you pluck the moon out of the sky, fit it into your pocket and give it back every night
you live in between clouds and look down at us with your dreamy eyes and ethereal smile
your imperfections form constellations
and a black hole is nothing compared to the
depth of your beauty. you're not a star my dear but the entire milky way. I've seen it, supernovae in your eyes;
being around you is like witnessing the northern lights
you take me places and despite
your human mind and that you're a human kind
you're a series of all the bright places combined
and I never thought a person could have the galaxy for a soul
until I met you
I never thought a person so gentle could lift the weight of the world
until I met you
you see
out of all people
you're the one who strives to make a difference
the ultimate dreamer, the most exotic being, the absolute stunner
you are the perfect representation of the word "pure"
when I lose hope in the good that this world has to offer
it's people like you who bring it back to me
I wrote this for you and only you

she was the girl who was not like most girls
she would spend her days typing love letters on a vintage typewriter while others would spend their days texting
she was the closest thing to mermaids and fairy tales
she had an imagination as wide as the ocean
a mind as sharp as a knife

her soul was incredibly beautiful that if you looked closely
you could see the flowers blooming in her bloodstream.

she was full of life until someone came along and took if from her
she remained as lifeless and miserable as the dead for months on end until that very moment when she decided to stand on her bare feet without anybody holding her steady
and she'd write
she'd write until she'd bleed her insides out if that means getting the poison out of her system

see this girl right here
was not like most girls
this girl right here
was the the odd one out

I fell in love with a writer
those eyes were the only thing
I've read and drew

I fell in love with an artist
ever since then I've been living
in shades of blue

I fell in love with words and syllables
somehow, they were not all true

but mostly I fell in love with sunsets
with watching them
and admiring you

I want to talk to you; I want to tell you that you deserve much more than someone who constantly hurts you.

But I'm starting to think that you live for the idea that it's the pain that reminds you you're alive and functional and capable of doing so many great things.

Because you once told me that whatever we do, we must do it with pain, because that's when it's done perfectly.

they were both two very splendid human beings
they understood each other in all the ways two people can understand each other
they shared a very strange desire to be next to one another
there was so much fire in whatever kind of beautiful
******-up relationship they had
so much fire to the point where they eventually burned out
grew apart

she tells him that she met someone new but he doesn't bother to care because in his dreams, they meet, somewhere between reality and illusions; they share all what is left unsaid

he talks about her like she is every reason he is hurting and every reason he keeps moving

he wakes up and she is the only thing on his mind
he gets out of bed with one, her smile
he glances at his sleepy eyes and messy hair in the mirror with two, her reflection looking back at him
he cleans himself up with three, her voice telling him how she's always moisturizing and pampering herself
he puts on his clothes with four, her hands on his chest
he pours coffee into her once favorite mug with five, her eyes all teared up that one time she burned her tongue
he comes back home late and unsteady
he looks for his missing pieces in people who are not whole themselves he attempts to build up extraordinary relationships with people who stopped believing in such things
all in hope that his mind would erase the idea that he belongs to one person
he sets his alarm on somedays
other days he's too tired to move
he rests his head on a couple of pillows with six, the feeling of her fingers running through his hair
he fixes his mind and tries to think straight with seven, the realization that she is long gone and he is only stuck with hallucinations of the past and what could have been
he falls asleep to the thought of her
he breathes to the scent of her
it's all too quiet but he swears he could hear her voice sometimes

in the morning, he wakes up and she is the only thing on his mind everything goes back into reverse, he lives in repeated events
his body goes on with his life.
his soul, still trapped in what ifs  
he smiles and it's the brightest thing ever; the sun seems suddenly irrelevant
he laughs and I could see
in that curve
in that temporal moment
that it's been a while since everything broke down in his world yet he couldn't find a way to repair the damage
and she is every reason behind that