if you want to learn
what someone fears losing,
watch what they photograph.
- that explains why he never took pictures of me

***** burns my throat
but your name hurts my head
so i would rather black out with a hangover
then stare blankly at my hands
trying to forget what its like to touch you.

[people generally think blue eyes are pretty, but his were not.
they were not cornflower, sky, baby, indigo, azure. his were iceberg, squall, hypothermia, eventual death.]

I'm sorry about the blood in your mouth
i wish it was mine

i am
         craving something unholy
i said
unholy, not
blasphemous
                                          drink the blood
                                                       of a god
i always
get those two confused

let me tell you a story of remembrance. it's made of green glass shards, crushed beer cans, men's thick bones scraped clean. life ain't like the sea. she's her own god. i should know- I'm one of her angels.

2. let me sing you a lullaby about salt. how my mother left my body to the waves. how i learned to swim instead of drown. it's not a sad song, don't you weep like that. it's a good lullaby, a lullaby born of survival, and if you follow me i'll sing you the rest.

3. let me tell you what i am: scales and gills and smiles made of sharp teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth.

Your lips are bruised
from the apple you bit into,
and my heart is empty
from leaving the garden.
But your sin is mine too.

It was written in the stars.
Who can explain this dream
that fades soon after waking?
Truth becomes tainted in time.
so let's live in loveful doubt.

Did you know I thought
of eating the apple first,
just to spare you from wrath?
I knew and did nothing,
so let me carry your guilt.