i live on a island of emotions
i swim in an ocean of depression
and even tho this wave push me and drag me down in its murky depths i still come back to this ocean
for i am its surfer
i have become dependent on this ocean
i stand on a beach of anxiety
its sand of fear of rejection pain and loneliness ***** at my feet tell i am nothing but a shadow of something that was once great
and there are people on this beach
they have this funny way of being mean but nice
but they are jerks
they scream and shout so loud to the point where i am screaming with them

i cant take it
i cant fake it
and i wont make it

Mr. moon
Insomnia makes you seem like perfect company
insomnia
Insomnia makes your warm glow a comfort I long to feel each night
As the star’s dance around you
Anxiety creep’s in
Anxiety
Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my realty
Bending and distorting my mentality
Mr. moon
Depression runs in
depression
Believe it or not he can be nicest at times.
Sweeping me up in his arm and whispers his words in my ear
Mr. moon
they tag team me tell I’m am nothing
Tell I am but a shadow of what once were.
A chaotic beauty.

This pain is a pill that’s hard to swallow yet its become my daily perception
The pain I my medicine
My addiction my adrenaline.
And as I slid across the blade
Blood splatters dancing across the bathroom floor
Drip
        Drip
                Drip
They sing my song of pain
Self loathing Self hate.
i know it wrong but it feels so right
the only time i get to feel
the only time i get to heal
or so it seemed
I don’t know 
i have this need to make me bleed.
but i like that pain
it makes me feel like all is forgiven
it has that kind of driven
it used to be a cry for help
but now it’s just a way to feel

the suns out
the birds are chirping
flowers bloom
after the old ones wilt
and people rise to see each other
we all bask in the light of the new day
as the night has died
its a beautiful mourning

your just as bad as every other insufferable human

god i love you

and as i look down
i see the little bit of what was left of you
burn
and as the flame gets bigger
i swear i don't cry
i laugh
but to be honest
i don't know why

maybe its because of the sick panic
of knowing your gone
and i don't know how to handle it

god i hate you for making me feel