Twinkle: Poems

Twinkle Jul 2017

I don’t dream of this, I don’t dream of me and you.
I don’t dream of you, late at night, holding me tight
no matter how much you wish me too.

If I could, I would take it all back, in the blink of an eye—not bothering with two—
And it’s not so it could be easy on me, in fact hardly the trouble,
But to make it easier for you

I want you to remember me like the rain
Always nice and welcoming at first glance
but when you’re drenched up to down
and when shivers run down your core,
you wish for nothing else
but the bitter taste of salt to leave your mouth

flOwers

Twinkle Jul 2017

flOwers

Watch the flowers
                       you left to burn,
       Watch the flowers, Watch them turn
                   black as the shadow,
                      you're so afraid of;
                  but you can't outrun.

heLLo?

Twinkle Jul 2017

heLLo?

"Hello?!"
              I don't know
                         You're knocking at my door
But I'm already lying face down on the sofa
                with my socks on the floor.
          The sun is out,
                   the air is cold,
I don't understand what business you got   here
             just knocking on my door.
So maybe I'll turn down the volume on the TV,
                 Pull the pillow over my head
    and hush myself to sleep.
          Quietly and "unconsciously"
I'll let this one go.
                                 "Hello?!"
                                         Hit the road.

Home

Twinkle Apr 2019

Home

I’m home again, but
home is not the comfort of my own bed, or the warmth of my mother’s hug, but
the sorrow that fills this entire heart and the dread in which it drowns
it’s not the sound of my father’s laugh, or my sister’s freshly brewed cold coffee, but
the hopelessness that seethes into these bones, these veins, and
the loud growls of my defeat.

The Storm

Twinkle Apr 2019

The Storm

Found myself ashore,
thought I’d let the water carry my weight to you
but the waves are too still today, my love
so calm,
so disengaged,
so uninviting;
the sky’s too dry, the sun atop
burns my skin with this scorching heat,
while my blood boils beneath;
I’ll wait for the storm, if I have to.
Create one out of my veins, if I have to.

This is about a girl

Twinkle Jul 2017

This is about a girl

This is about a girl, I'm sure you’ve never heard of
but she’s walked the same halls as you
Sat in the same cafe, laughed in the same manner
Only never made you wonder

This is about a girl, oh she’s run away
Deep into the jungle,
Where the memories will perish
And her body’ll surrender

This is about a girl, what is she upto now
Standing quiet like a feather
Her eyes pierce like knife
I couldn’t help but smile

UNcertain

Twinkle Jul 2017

UNcertain

I wonder
if the stars in the night sky all lined up,
and if the moon started to glow on it own
then maybe you'll stop sending shivers down my throat.
I wonder if I'd ever be able to forget your face.
I wonder what would happen if I tried.

You come with a lot of fire, dressed in beautiful grace
here to put my heart out of desire, been hoping you'd wanna make me stay.
I'm not sure how that'll play out, I'm not sure if I wanna find out.
I'm not sure if I'm really unsure.
My uncertainty might have me run out too.

Untitled

Twinkle Jul 2017

Untitled

I know you wonder about all the things I might have, to say to you,
I know you wonder, often guess out loud, but never quite touch the truth

I know you think that I think a lot and that I don’t let it all out,
I know you think too much about how my words will never be enough

I know that you wan’t to make it right because you think you can,
I know that you think you have a chance, only not quite

I wish I didn’t know half the things I do,
I wish I didn’t matter half as much as I do to you
I wish I could try to make you forget,

but I can’t,

so I won’t even try

Untitled

Twinkle Jul 2017

Untitled

Smile, they said
You'd look beautiful.
but it's this smile that feels like a cut on my face
who am I to befool?

Smile, they said
You'd look pretty.
but it's not the looks I care about you see,
I just want out of this city.

Smile, they said
It shows you're happy.
Then why are tears falling out your face, when your lover's marrying someone else
I see you're smiling your heart away.

Untitled

Twinkle Jul 2017

Untitled

I'm trying not to tear myself apart
betwixt all the whens and the hows
I know you asked me to be sweet
but I can't help the filth from escaping my mouth
      it is as if I predicted this
      I watched you watch my walls come crashing down, and when
      the damage was done
      there wasn't much left to ponder about.
                  You escaped with the morning wind, gone with no chance
                  of ever coming back.
                  I'm here now, picking up the pieces, trying to tape up all
                  the cracks.

Untitled

Twinkle Jul 2017

Untitled

She sits by the ocean, when she knows nowhere else to be
She lets the wave consume her, little by little—starting with her two feet
The commotion behind her all but dissolves then
finally granting her degree

She puts her hands inside the sand
to let the imprint say what she can’t
because she knows inside her heart
of what will never be

And she finds herself here, time and time again
dawn to dusk, dusk to oblivion
Always trying to let go of something
that can’t ever be free

You dont understand

Twinkle Jul 2017

You dont understand

You don't understand

I've fought fire, like you've fought grace
I've fought desire, just like you've fought to get past your drunken days.
and if there was, ridiculously, for even a moment
a chance for us,
I would know.
I've wished for nothing else.

— The End —