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Sep 2022 · 123
touch starved
triggerword Sep 2022
there are times I get so lonely
that the crowds almost seem tolerable
the buses not nearly so unbearable
and I do not pull away
misanthropic by nature
self-loathing by nurture
but I’d **** the neighbor
if he only asked
if only to feel some ******* thing
Aug 2022 · 219
seek to hide
triggerword Aug 2022
I walk the world invisible
and say it’s just as well
oh god
they look right through me
without ever seeing
under cover of darkness, I stamp my feet
safe from scrutiny and lonelier for it
why can’t they see me?
why do I want them to?
Aug 2022 · 181
but I can’t reach you
triggerword Aug 2022
we are as one
but he is blind to all the things I see
the shadows that burn brighter than the light ever shines
the silence that sings louder than the music ever swells
powerless am I to make him feel the indescribable
to love what bears no notice
it is folly
it is folly
it is folly
a scream is wasted on a desert sky
the gods may hear me
but they will never understand
Jul 2021 · 295
the orienteer
triggerword Jul 2021
the chances were slimmer
than sedentary average joseph
clamoring above car horns
in the streets
on the streets
under the streets
as lust stains sheets
and calls itself love
were we always mistaken?
these songs that all sound the same
these meager scrawls on canvas
these silver screens
fade to red
and you pray to the sky
so that this last word still to come
so that it might be your masterpiece
so that you need never be forgotten
Apr 2021 · 379
I could forgive them
triggerword Apr 2021
the way that children run
fleeing the crest of a wave
even in their most invincible state
they couldn’t be touched by the depths
and so it goes
I notice their eager screams of delight
striding toward the thing they most dread
the man with spear in hand
claiming the dirt beneath his feet
does he know it will someday claim him?
I’ve come to crave the fragility of it all
Jun 2020 · 129
comrade in arms
triggerword Jun 2020
remember the twisted kid
mutilating dolls in boredom
remember the unfaithful wife
the guy with the confessional punchcard
the casual narcissist steeped in denial
the see-through sycophant
I am them
they are me
pain can’t always be poetic
and I just can’t be expected to discriminate
Mar 2020 · 167
daydreaming
triggerword Mar 2020
I can only hope you’re still out there
dying under the same sun I see
Mar 2020 · 113
first blood
triggerword Mar 2020
my first kiss was a druggy pig
stuck in an anti-wedding dress
pinning me down to undressed mattresses
waif-like little insect I was
am
hope to be
Feb 2020 · 101
high ground
triggerword Feb 2020
there are worse things than heartbreak
but there’s nothing better
Dec 2019 · 491
call me icarus
triggerword Dec 2019
it’s pretty up on the eleventh floor
the better to fling myself from
and if they ask
just say I was trying to fly away
it’s a long way down from rock bottom
Nov 2019 · 777
sorry
triggerword Nov 2019
i don’t believe in the god that told me he loved me...

and then let me burn
Sep 2019 · 355
not your baby girl
triggerword Sep 2019
my mother never taught me how to fly
because ladies don’t use their wings
and neither do I

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