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Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
Writing in a notebook every single death I've had
Doesn't seem too bad on first glance
Just wait, this night'll never end

Smear me up a wall
Undo every single thought I have
Wish I could take my eyes out of my head
And see all thie things I've done
All the songs I've never written
My arms close to my chest
My heart in my throat
Everyting's out of place, isn't it the best?

We're running on a full tank of gas with nowhere to go
We're driving in cricles to make it look like we went somewhere
Seeing the same old thing back adn forth
Thinking time'll change this
Boy, were we wrong

Once more before tomorrow
We're on the edge holding on
This life has our hands and is ready to let go
No more last words for us
Going a million miles an hour in neutral
All they see is a person going nowhere
What they don't see (Oh, what they don't see)
We've been to the darkside of the moon and back
(Yeah, we've got this) We've got no obligation to you
We've seen God, one day, one single moment
(Forgiveness behind the flowers)

We've left ourselves here because
Because, because, because, because
We can
Expecting a high fallutin answer?
Well, sorry to disappoint
We've plotted our path here, why?
We can, we can, we can!
Because we can!

Writing in a notebook every single death I've had
Doesn't seem too bad on first glance
Just wait, this night'll never end
Writing in a notebook every single life I've lost
Doesn't it seem funny how're they're gone?
They never were that long
(Never really meant anything)
They never were that good
(Never really could)

Come on, gods have knelt at our feet
We've done our crime, we've done our time
Just wait, you'll see
Just you wait, we'll see to it
That you're not left behind
923 · Jun 2010
Screams are only skin deep
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
I live in a room full of toys
Broken and thrown about
Scratching the surface, I can't be missed
I don't mind telling you that I doubt
Will you ever understand?
You'll never understand

Surrounded by light, if I am not with it
I must be without it
The little cars whisper to me
The tragic fate their life depends on
A storm brews in my teacup
They say
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream

So ready, I'm ready
So ready I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready

Music boxes fill the air
With foreboding melodies
These walls have been dead a thousand years
Spinning, and spinning, and spinning
Living twisting and twirling
I must be a criminal, I must be
Can't you see my body is cracked
My soul clawing its way out of me

Thank you kind heavenly host
You've given me so much to toast
This hope that light's my way
Too bad I wasn't blessed with a door
Thank you kind heavenly host
You've given me so much to toast for
This voice to talk to all the pretty things
Too bad I wasn't blessed with wings

Surrounded by light, if I am not with it
I must be without it
The little cars whisper to me
The tragic fate their life depends on
A storm brews in my teacup
They say
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream

Oh well, that's a god ****** lie
If it would help you
I'll tell you the truth
You tell me everything's alright
Well, it's not
Can I trust you
I'll tell you the truth

So ready, I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready

Given the chance, I wouldn't change a thing
I wouldn't for the world
Candy, sweet faces, twisted smiles, the taste…
Do you speak under your breath
About the things I've committed
The spark behind your eyes
A signal that you remember
I was the one in the lies
The world surrendered
A mouth full of words
I don't mind telling you
These warped curves
Your sketchy nerves
What I've learned
Doesn't it burn
For just one more turn

I don't mind telling you
These warped curves
Your sketchy nerves
What I've learned
Doesn't it burn
For just one more turn

So ready, I'm ready
So ready I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready…
922 · Jun 2010
Ecstacy
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
This music
(My music)
It’s getting in my head
Staying there and crawling through my thoughts
Have you ever wondered what it sounds like
To be insane?

Would you like to?
I don’t mind letting you see
A million and one thoughts colliding
And all these brilliant colors being born
One by one
I try to find out all their names
But, there’s a fine line when I try to hear
What they say and what they mean
I lose my place
Simply close my eyes
And let my body become light as air
Becoming one with the sky

I’ve been waiting in the clouds for ages
Died here, born here, lived here
Met myself here, said goodbye to myself here
Somewhere up there
My diary still stays
But there’s a new chapter in my life now
It’s you

This figure that caught my eyes
Stole my soul
I remember watching you walk
Flowers blooming at your feet
Your smile radiant as the sun
This was you
Tried to find out every place you were going
Secretly hiding all these feelings I had
Behind the curtain of my heart
I couldn’t speak, you stole my words
My body quickened at the thought of you
Longing for just a moment
That I could spend with you eternally
And, how lucky I could be
That moment came
How lucky I could be
That moment is here and forever

My love, I look into your eyes and see endless depth
This beautiful expanse of your soul
Stretching out to meet the moon and shadow
I put myself right beside you
Get caught up in this wonderful tug
Between this reality and yours
With delicate hands, you open my chest
Find out what makes me tick
I like that
Something was always in the way
With such ease
You dispelled it, it’s no more
I am free
I am in you

This is my song of a desperate soul
Who found madness conjoined
In everlasting love
I sing it forever
Of how perfection can be found
Right in front of me

This world has grown so colorful
You have been it’s life
My head twirls as butterflies
Moonlit flowers
Sweet white light
All come together around me
I lay down
I soar high above I was ever before
You meet me
Kiss me
Love me
And I’ve found my place
Bodies perfectly interlocking together
This lovely motion
Turning the world and switching the stars
We are the story of the cosmos
All eyes are on us

Darling, just breathe
A thousand hands pulling you under
Do you like that?
Let me roll you over in my mouth
My arms like lightning bolting across your skin
Electricity spinning in the air
We will become the sun
Our love burning so brightly as one
Shining on everyone sleeping
And awake
The story of star-crossed lovers
Etched in the sky
692 · Jun 2010
New genesis
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
Coming to that quiet place we made
Hand held close to my chest
Darling, I've got a secret I need let out
Won't you help?
Won't you help me again?

I've gone through it all standing on my own two feet
Been the subject of ridicule and the piece of this world
Totally ignored
Drinking from the wells splashing deep within the earth
Can't help but to get another drink
Shoud've got up and moved on
Can't help but to get another drink

As we walk, we tear our souls from our bodies
As we run, we say to them that they're too heavy to carry
All I ask, All I want
Is just a single word
Okay
Fine
Salvation

Sinking ever so more deeper in the recesses of this chair
Struggling to hold on to reality and things seen not there
How I wish you could see
My head is twirling round and round and round
Long ago it wasn't like this
And far from now it will stop for sure
But, for now, I just can't keep up with you

I've let loose my soul, broke my eyes
Burned my tongue, and hid my ears
Oh baby, all I can do is feel you out
Can't say I want to change that

For those watching this tragedy in the making
Take note of the change from disgust to hero
I don't want you to miss the point I'm trying to make
No, don't want that at all

With feelings going in and out
With sadness complementing the joy
I feel like I'm on a tightrope
I just want to know
Which way to go
Can't be this hard, can it?

I don't think, I don't think it's going to be the same anymore
All my dreams are smashed on the ground
Can't even see them anymore.

In sixty seconds I'll have gone past the horizon
In an hour or two I'll pass through the waves of torment
Kind friends, tell me
What is it that makes things go away?

I've searched long and hard for an anwer
And come up to only a subtle piano key
Being played
I've made every doubt perish
Every thought die
Still it lingers
Still it lingers in my eyes

We've pushed through things we didnt' know were there
And forgot those with which we built bridges to
And, to end it all, we've come this far

II.

Things change and roll on
I've lost every sensation but memory
Taken from me everything
Stolen in the night
Passion misplaced
Ransacked houses
687 · Jun 2010
Page 514 Thanksgiving Day
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
Beautiful cacophony budding up against my ears
Sounds I've always been used to
Fading beyond the horizon
Looking up to the sky, seeing the colors of the ceiling
Slowly drink the noise into eternal blue
And rain smiles down upon my heart
This strange world
Painted in only one color
Only coming once a year
Paired with but a single sound
I call it home today
And I write in my diary of days
How beautiful it stays
I met myself here
I said goodbye to myself here
I'm sure that it will happen again
All the same, but different
All different, but the same
My face has changed
But my heart hasn't
God, thank you for this moment
When I get to see my family again
Together
Fighting like always, but
They're all here
Even if it is just for tonight
Sometimes, I wonder where I'm going when I leave
Or, if I might come back
If I'll leave
Maybe never come back
I think, if I should jump into the sky after they're all gone
Would it tell me it's been waiting for me?
I know you can't hear me
But.
All the words I say
Cut my lips into pieces of you
I'm caught talking to myself
Here, just for you
And.
Maybe you're far away from here
And, maybe you're not
You're always a happy thought
That I'm reminded of
This Thanksgiving
I can't get enough
No matter where you are
I wander toward you
Everyday before
Everyday after
And today, I know
You say it's okay
To rest far away.
You are near.
645 · Jun 2010
All there and gone
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
In my dreams (there you are)
Hiding away in a field of flowers
Long ago
We lost touch
Our bodies out of tune to this music
Life (life) Life (life), what does it matter anymore?

Swelling darkness enveloping my ears
Shadows whispering to me all these voices
This lonely sound of you so near
This lonely sound you held so dear

The day is thick with black, don't know if I'll get out
A reflection full of pictures has me by the neck
Painting my eyes closed with regret
Painting him away...

There are no more raindrops in my head
Shivers criss-crossing their way through my skin
Your memory bouncing against my heart
These words, this song, it's all there and gone
Blooming happiness just so it can wither
All before dawn

Thoughts boiling to the surface
Stinging my eyes with your lips coming down on me
Our shadows detonating on the walls
Sing to me my darling
Your voice alone is my guide through
Let me see you

Laughing all the crimes you've committed away
You were always like that
Let every single star in the sky come down
Pick us up, take us away
These words, this song, all there and gone
These words are my heart
This song is my soul
And, with you
They're all there
And
They're gone.
607 · Jun 2010
I am him, but he is not me
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
These thoughts twisting inside of me
Curling up just below the surface
Taking my head and clutching it close to my heart
Trying to listen to the hum of feelings
I can't stand up anymore

Wind drinking my skin
It's so cold
Nothing like it used to be
Is this the world you wanted me to see
Your kind moving quietly around me
Looking back at me

I remember whispering in your ear
Telling secrets you'd never know
Your fingers were afflicted with a nervous itch
Pointing like nails to pin my insides to the ground
All these people like golden souls crawling this way and that
Spotting every dark corner below the surface

There you are, flying over me
Playing with things unseen
I'm lingering in the dark
Pulling clouds low to forget this ground
Darling, lay your head down for me

All around me, jackhammers and timebombs
I feel insane, dropping below the still waters
Phosphorescent white blotting this soul out into the open
Twisting thoughts inside of me
Beneath the skin I'll run away
Under the waves I'll crawl to some distant shore
I'll try to hold on, I'm losing the fight
I'll try to hold on, I'm slipping away
I'll come back again
If I can.
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
Down on your knees
Begging for forgiveness
This church full of empty pews
Who will hear your prayers
Pouring the anguish into your hands
Innocent hands stained with blood
Let it slip from your fingers

Darling, this life is in the business of misery
I'm sorry honey, I never meant to break it to you
But, we've got one more second chance to take
One wild dream left to brag about

The curtains of the sky are pulling down
Last act wrapping up
I've waited a thousand long lives to see this moment
God, it feels so good
A million eternal nights finally breaking down
The sun rising at last, it could be the end
The sun rising at last, it could…

All this time we missed the smiles
Hidden in the shadows that never changed
But, all that's coming to an end now
All this time we missed the happiness
Stolen by the dark in the dead of night
End of the line, time to get off, just watch
Just watch and see, the daylight coming back

People running the streets, look this way
We might know what's going to happen next
They don't care, neither do I
God, it just feels so good
Warmth touching our skin at last
Come out of your houses
Look out the window at the new dawn
We've got it right where we want it
All our dreams coming true
Forgiveness raining down on you

Feel my hands coming down on you
It's easy if you do it right
Taking all that away
Hearing all your pain in my fingertips
Just give it to me
Just give…

All this time we missed the smiles
Hidden in the shadows that never changed
But, all that's coming to an end now
All this time we missed the happiness
Stolen by the dark in the dead of night
End of the line, time to get off, just watch
Just watch and see, the daylight coming back

Feel my hands coming down on you
It's easy if you do it right
Taking all that away
Hearing all your pain on my fingertips
Just give it to me
Just give…
The sun rising at last
The sun rising at last, it could…
534 · Jun 2010
5:14 AM for Jessie
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
When I’m with you
I play all these thoughts through my head
These beautiful meetings happening
Over and over again
Daydreaming till the sun melts into the horizon
Lost in you

Your voice is the beautiful melody
Of every promise that’s come true
I wrap myself up in your words
And let you hold me till I fall asleep
You take me away to places I thought
Were only dreams
But, you make them all real

I jump into your eyes
Fall right through
Into you
Swept away in your wild imagination
This lovely feeling that has no name
Carrying me through your body
Like the creeping warmth
Of dawn’s light

How could I possibly understand
All these perfect things
You give me each and every one
Without saying a word
Just holding me close to your chest
Whispering “I love you”

This imagination burning a hole in my head
It’s passion hot and red
I promised I wouldn’t let it get out of control
Oh, but, I just can’t help it!

There you are
There I am
Together in this time and place
Everything is so perfect
My world through my eyes
With nothing that I’ve missed
You take my hand
And we run away far from here

My heart is racing
You said it would be alright
Held me close
Even though it was cold
I couldn’t feel it

Switching from day to night
Faster than I could keep up
Time was swirling by
You never changed though
That beautiful smile
That gorgeous face
Your amazing self
I could hardly believe
That I was lucky enough
For you to hold my hand through it all

I asked what’s next
And you put your finger to my lips
Slowly rubbed your hands up my chest
“Let’s light this world, it’s so cold tonight”
A lovely grin stretching across your cheeks
Like I siren, I was captured never to return
My arms unfurled around your skin
We crashed to the ground
I had a death by kisses as my wish
Eat me up, piece by piece
Leave only my eyes darling
To watch
And, I loved it
469 · Jun 2010
Human
Trevor Lee Boyd Jun 2010
Turning over and over
Making the sight of sun and moon
Open up my eyes
This spark cools down, starts again
Falling asleep, waking up, dreaming
Falling into the ocean…

Long time jealousy I hear in this Earth
Crawling through the space between
What has always been there and what has
Always not…
I never could have imagined how
Painful and beautiful it’s all been
Heaven is close to a place like this.

Rolling over my time with my tongue
Such a bittersweet symphony that plays
Part by part, pacing and rushing itself just for me
Life, or something like it
Never sounds like it should
But, simply is what it sounds.

Angels part ways
Begging for their destiny to be taken
We are where angels lose their way
Brothers and sisters, I’m right here with you
As the darkness
And the light is slowly erased

It’s all just the price we pay
To be human.

— The End —