I'm so angry with myself for letting him become my only source of pure happiness.
Something I strongly disagree with is depending on others for my own happiness.
I never have, but he walked into my life and he became so ******* special to me.
I've never felt the way I do about him, with anyone else.
He picked up my broken pieces and put them back together and when he left I shattered.
I didn't know what to do without him here so I smoked too much, I drank too much, I took too many pills. Anything to take the pain away.
But then I realized how disappointed he would be in me.
How disappointed I was in myself for letting it even remotely get this bad.
I tried my best to piece things back together. I tried so hard. But once something's shattered it can never go back to the way it was again.
Now I'm back to sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out at 2am because I'm so ******* broken.

The attention you receive may be frustrating because it's not from the person you're craving it from, but at the same time it's flattering. It gives you a little source of happiness, even if it's temporary. That attention may cause you to start developing unwanted feelings, even if you don't believe the things that are being said to you. Even if you do everything in your power to overcome those feelings, they take over for a period of time. You can get attached to the attention you receive. But you also have to realize that the person you love is coming back. So, I've been told that I've had an empty void inside me ever since you left. I've done everything to refill it. Drugs, hooking up with various people, just to fill that void. Moral of the story, even though he believes he isn't, he's so ******* irreplaceable.