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Filmore Townsend Feb 2016
never was there this
          far gone psychosis;
    fargone in the wealth of body;
      fargone, and ******,
  these ******* hallucinations
         will not leave me be.
   in peace, and yes everything
      waved in the peripherals
  and a mannequin might have
      given fright; they die,
              these hallucinations,
   when left of grace of the corner-
     ed sight.   i'll sleep with the
           light on if the Sun stays
      fettered, if only seconds,
   without arrogance of proof
          that there will be another
     sunrise. (anachronistic,
        that light from
     a square-cut sight)
Filmore Townsend Jan 2016
steel gray waters past
               land and sea are
               lived much
               -- in fact,
               personally represented and
   hey,
           how divided are you now?
           coming off eight years of a
     hundred days missed?
                by ending breath,
             the air was taken in chord
             and mimicked some expectant energy.
   you're somewhere, getting there
   only by will of the day(s).
Filmore Townsend Jan 2016
They passed, I wanted
     to see Alaska's evenings,
and their hunting
   and a household of seven. No
                 one knows.
The public
      never noticed how much disrespect
cut corners. I wasn't looking to replace it.
         If they only knew! I promised
    I would do that.
            "What team are you playing on?"
      the applicants' response was proof
positive that the devastation and loss,
            and retyped, Miscarriage. with
   a thin layer of Wite-Out meant
                   to follow the law.
         "You have a couple of choices
   about getting rid of it,
                 naturally." she said. We were bound
by our fierce determination to
        bring new players to the table working
  together, and ensuring a stable
      place of negotiating behind closed doors.
            Along with the five others, I asked,
                   "Want a cookie?"
Filmore Townsend Jan 2016
She went on to explain
   that I could go home and
        let hated prejudice land,
from litter to gossip
           and pretension. My face fell.
   Her bluntness shocked me.
          In the larger scheme of things,
     I also knew that unless I traveled
         without sweltering
                     in conditions that had my
           girls complaining about our priorities:
       fancy food,
         fancy clothes,
           fancy anything. Their efforts
   reminded me of the newly inked
                  tattoos and the mercury
soaring for the water of physical transportation;
       practical became apparent. The answer
   turned out to be yes. "Watch my artwork, Doc!"
                  Trust me,
                                   I know this stuff,
          they want close personal tragedy,
         a fleeting thought, my parents
               sick and hollow. We
   certainly had differences but I loved
        every part of the nickel apiece
                          and
        exotic sweat equity that
                                 was off-limits
                      for many years. Why?
   A sudden, "I'm out of town."
         that they cannot do for a split
               second. No one would ever
       have to know.
Into tears,
   "These are really less-than-ideal circumstances."
Filmore Townsend Jan 2016
I sighed and stared at a distraction --
             the ceiling, while one
    brought me tea, I confessed
to thoughts that ran
          the gamut "and time
     is limited." The girls gently
               cooed, and tattooed
                       Alaska
            with respect and an app-
                   reciation for the most valu-
                       able tears of pride.
    The message was pithy and concise
            just like me
        a few months prior, before
             a God-given resource that grew
          together, into
                heavy-duty materialism
   provided for the family. God gives us
        time to choose how
                 to waste it. He doesn't like
     to seem so much more enlightened
                                 than the rest of us but
                  He talked about respect
              for nature, and was adamant about using
   every part of any children with special needs.
                        As my mom had warned me years before,
       I wasn't listening. I remembered the
              Old Testament story of
    "There's nothing alive in there."
Filmore Townsend Jan 2016
proficient in professing,
       busted knuckle on top
   of burned hand -
             these, my penance
      for
  words are sacred; though
               words are wasteful
                    and haste-felt:
        "you're good," he said;
        "people are envious," he said;
        "i didn't even know
                 that was there."
                                             he said.
              this realizing
      now that actions must
                                    call to haste
           in order to catch words'
             promise of sacred verbal contract.
                  [ran long; try again]
always and anyway(s),
       this tongue
               distracted focus -
          thoughtless, stolen
   and marrow aches,
              muscles torn without time
       to allow a rebuild.
                             "you're good," he said.
  but,
              hands are
                        cut,
                            burned,
                 swollen,
       and so terribly winter-stiff.
          "you're good," he said;
"that knife is sharp," i said;
                  "you'll learn." he said.
     promise of sacred
        verbal contract.
                  [ran long; try again]
Filmore Townsend Dec 2015
fumbled getting the key in the
lock. took ‘bout five minutes
before i heard the tumblers click –
nesting in the notch’d metal.
with gentle press, I swung the
door open. light hit me, blind’d,
as my perception bled in constant
to the left. nothing seem’d to have
it’s own place, or space.
i would turn my head from the left,
and the world would be right’d.
stop’d movement,
world bled left, and
i went for the couch.
“Where have you been?”
the maternal commandant.
“Where. Have You. Been?”
    out.
my left-most body
felt stretch’d, felt warp’d.
    out. i’ve been out.
“What’s wrong with you?”
a seconds pause.
“Are you ****’d up?”
she’s got me.
“You are ****’d up,
aren’t you?”
how obvious.
dialogue never left mind
through mouth. knowing better is
ninety-percent of the solution.
of the problem.
“Who are you?”
her voice rising.
“Where is my son?”
her voice peaking.
“What you done with Cole?”
he’s taking a break from this,
this… this reality.
he need’d some time.
she huff’d indignant, and turn’d
to return to a yellow-lit kitchen
where she hots a friend.
both ******, both drunk,
both lost to me through slurs.
    But I am your son;
bleeding left, pupils constrict’d.
    But I am your son;
bleeding left, sour-smelling breath.
    I am your son.
bleeding left, falling right, falling into
the darkness of a thousand-year sleep.
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