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tori Jan 2014
i wish i could gather all my tears so i can drown you in them
the way you make me feel is overwhelming
i'm empty
powerless
ashamed
i hate you for what you've done
you make me sick and i hope you suffocate yourself on your own *******
tori Jan 2014
I want to see the good
just to know there is some.
I want to know that people i don't know what to know me.
I want to know that there's good
outside of all this bad.
I want to meet the good
see the good
taste the good
just to know it's there
tori Jan 2014
2:14 am
and i know
that i'm all alone
i'm cold and tired
but sleeping is out of the question
out of all the places to go
things to see
i'm all alone in my bed
no one here but my thoughts that drive me mad
tori Jan 2014
Sometimes I feel so terrible all I want to do is to slice my skin and sit in the pool of blood and fall asleep and leave. I've tried that so may times but I always heard the knock of my parents telling me to hurry up in the bathroom because my sister needs to brush her hair.
I miss the cutting, slicing, blood, hurt, pain, stinging. All of that. But I don't miss the way I felt. Empty and lonley every second of every day.
The nights were the worst. The quiet gave me space to think and the seemingly endless time I had in the cold bedroom made me feel even more alone than I really was. I got the illusion that cutting helped. I tried it once to see if it did and I thought it did. I didn't mean to slice again but I did. Every day for two years I would hurt the empty canvas that was my body. When I wake up, before I go to sleep, before after and during showers, at three am when I can't see the blade or my wrist.
Sometimes I miss cutting and that makes me sad. Sad that someone can miss something so painful and horrible. That someone can crave and be addicted to the hurt and blood of your own body.
tori Jan 2014
you are the cosmos
you are the earth, the moon, the sun and all the planets we don't know
you are everything and you don't even know it
i can look into your eyes and see the whole universe
for the little time i have to see you i know you're the one
the light and the dark can't compare to how you beautifully abstract you are
all the colors couldn't paint a picture of you because you're so much more than just colors
i wish you could see how much of me you make up
you are the cosmos because you're everything i'm really sure of
everything i can say is true
you know things
you know what you need to know but you're open minded enough to see and understand what everyone else needs to know
tori Jan 2014
She was drowning in her own self misery;
her own negative self righteousness consuming her every thought.
Through the hurt and despair,
she saw the pin size amount of light the universe had to offer.
Reaching to grab it,
it slipped though her small and frail fingers.
Over powered with darkness,
she tried to go with the beastly creature.
It's name: Depression.
Somehow, the light managed to sneak into her last few seconds of life.
Bliss,
Optimism,
Love entered her eyes.
She saw the beauty in everything around her;
birds singing their hearts out
vibrant colors
music
sunshine
flowers
there was beauty, like there has always been

— The End —