Aimless in all that isn't,
finding myself along the marginals
while limelight is too sour
to make lemonade
breaking even improbable
with weight serrated
worthwhile; a high
that has been sought
stretching and searching
unwilling to contend
waiting and wondering
whenever it wills

I awoke on the brink of love
clinging onto the edge by my fingertips
shouting everything written in the cave that is my mouth
I wonder if she realizes my lungs sometimes forget to operate
when she’s around me
and if she’d give me mouth to mouth
I swear I could die with a smile
she’s a piece of tape you can’t remove
a painting you’ve seen too many times
a incessant humming of availability
but I will not lose my love for the way her spine crack like my favorite novel
or the way she smiles when thinking of things
and I don’t know if she realizes that sometimes
love feels a lot like getting struck like lightning and
this rumbling in my stomach is the uproar
of the heavens
She is my cup of coffee in the morning
and my glass of wine in the evening
I swallow her words
and find myself intoxicated by her affection
she swears that love is only found in books
so I shall fill our stories into composition books to convince her of it later
she doesn’t realize that the way she laughs can be crippling
and my heart is found in a wheelchair when I see someone else make her laugh
she doesn’t realize her beauty
and i wish i could bring her to the edges of the world
captivated by art galleries
swept away by ocean tides
breath taken by the most exhilarating sights
and show her just how much better she is
she is the scotch in my glass
the cigarette in between my fingers
she is the arrow through my chest
and I don’t find smiling as satisfying unless it’s in her company.

Found on the corner of apathy
and apologizing
These bruises on my knees from tripping one
too many times
a gunshot in an empty room
the real question is would you hear it anyway
like a birthday card in a foreign language not worth deciphering
rosetta stone, I’ve been inhaling every past regret in
and effort to remember where it all went wrong
there are no dice in this monopoly game
stuck in the same spot, too many years to count
I wonder if people hang themselves
because they have nowhere else to go but up
the funeral soliloquy is sung by the choir
of the church of the ******
tell me how many times you’ve sung along to the chorus
the clock has been developing arthritis ever since you’ve left
he’s unable to paint a future for me anymore without you in it
ostracized from all forms of affection
breeding the pitiful dull echo of a voicemail
bouncing around the cave walls of my heart
I’ve been searching with blind eyes
and reciting your laughter to a room full of deaf people
both are just as redundant
and have left me with that much more.

With a smile like the oceans tides
she smirks like the seagulls are cawing for her
I don’t doubt they are
with salt in her hair
she shakes herself raws
knuckles tasting like a tsunami
her walls are drowning in her anger
When I tell you her smile is like the oceans tides
they’re practically identical
in the systematic way they seem to come and go
I am constantly in search for her under the bright sun
but she is still trying to find herself at the bottom of a bottle
that she can’t seem to finish
she is convinced the tide refuses her approaches
well what do you say when a person's fingers
reek of millions of years of depth and loneliness
she refuses to stay in my palms for longer than a few moments
and my hands haven’t stopped reeking of salt water and regret
since she slipped between the cracks of my fingers
I wonder if I slipped between the cracks of her heart
or I was never drowning there to begin with
she’s drowning in cigarette burns
she tells me I taste like cigarettes
someone else has been smoking
and I don’t blame her because there is a certain backwash
to saying you’re in love with me
and she’s stuck in the moment of time
where the ocean has swallowed you
and you aren't able to break the surface
her smile is that moment of panic
she is my moment of panic
that refuses to cease
and whether or not I breathe again
it wouldn't be worth it unless it is her oxygen I am inhaling
she clings onto my skin days after seeing her
I can still hear my bedsheets muttering about how
her smile is like the oceans tide
and I am still yet to be found from her shores.

Flesh and blood
everything noxious with the universe
the swaying is nauseating
the praying
infrequent
adaptable as long as the provisions
are profitable
we have a harder time identifying ourselves
in a crowd
than anybody else
and the drugs and alcohol
will drain us of morality and as the
corpses we are
****** to walk
we're selfish
and poetic
and with that
we exhale &
***** our previous selves;
the version the history books
forgot to mention.

Aimless yet forceful
paradoxing symphonies
written within the milliseconds of a blink,
spiraling sanity nicknamed hurricane,
ignorance deciding which,
where hesitations hold universes all in themselves.

Fixating incessanties  
as if perception is a
prescription of consciousness,
waiting for sense to be deposited
uptook
Claustrophobic in open areas
where loneliness stands
and sticks to skin
an unscrubabble tattoo
stories told
never heard

Bleak doctrines
wandering wisps of wit with
congested callous coffins
in their wake

waves watching
wishing
when silence strikes and speaks
longer listings that get louder as violence peaks

crudely unrefined
found in the darkness without a sight
one of a kind
the crack  in the dark and slip for the light

She kissed that barrel of a gun harder than she's ever kissed me.

She tastes like cigarettes
someone else has been smoking

When I lost my innocence, my sanity
Went on a binge that has lasted
Years, and it hasn’t visited in a while
Nights spent staring at blank walls
Trying to make sense of something
That just doesn’t
The hysteria is maddening when
The voice in your head doesn’t answer
Where do wandering lost souls venture to
Or do they stick around their tragedies
I feel my past selves attempting to drown
My happiness, every time it stops by
The moments fleet
But the carved manic lunacy remains

Emboldened by hyphenated misanthropy
cautious of vibrating
swapping stories with storks
sharing salvation amongst sycamores
if surreptitious shores could whisper secrets to tides
similar to seraphim shining star light
the dark awfully mournful
would the two dance
further than space and time
confined by nothing
the neurotic romance
bewildering
reminding them both how
empty they are
without one another

Incorrigibility being the high never worth chasing
while watching the same mistake repeat
a broken record for the deaf
where wondering is criminal
the good guy was never golden
tar black  just better at glimmering
Diamonds are created under immense amounts of pressure
over limbs of time
fetishizing patience
Watching everything obsess what it is not
futility is too humid to vacation in

Whispering amongst ourselves
reciting incantations
proclaiming proclivity
while **** stirs
caustic to repertoire
indecisive to belief
creating choices
to avoid time
in our space

married misanthropically
disproportionate in personality
the indifference is enough
to make anyone nostalgic for balance

humorous how we search
for the things outside
of our box

all the while staring at it
from the holes
inside of our selves

paranoia proves incessant
when dating doubt
becomes a priority

personifying characters
we never chose to be
in hopes of being more
than another shell
at the beach

while the feeling becomes transparent
the lines become opaque
yet translucent where they overlap
involuntary nausea becomes a
daytime mugging
metaphors sour
similes slur when smiles slip
hesitations are noxious
when desire is omnipotent
worthwhile is a conversation
we avoid with ourselves
sacrificing sanctity for sanity
or what we believe it to be

Drinking for an
unquenchable thirst
ironic but desperate nonetheless
half empty
half full
it will still be drank.

Narcotic haze
distracting yet
influential
while i'm below it

radiating confusion
where madness
becomes comfortable

drawing out of the lines
only to erase them
with a sigh of relief

draining blood from a stone
synonymous with
making it worthwhile

while fury grips
tethering edges
tilting consciousness
the see-saw will break
before anyone gets off