my heart tears, it is ripped out of me, as if it was nothing
your wicked mind, your impish smile, your evil eyes
i am the puppet, and you are the puppeteer to your sick games
your words swirl around my head, intoxicating me
until i am my own no more, i am yours to control
every time you let go i run with fear, and disgust
i tell myself i will never return to this life
yet i always come back, i have no idea what to do with out you
you are my puppeteer, and i am your puppet
i let you play your sick games with me
your lies enchant me, making me helpless to your wrath
making me beg for you every time we touch
you are my drug, i am addicted to you
your kiss gets me high, your touch makes me fly
yet when your gone i get thrown back into reality
i sit here yearning for you, pining for you to return to me
i have no idea what to do without you
for i am your puppet, and  you are my puppeteer

i want to be so angry right now; i want to yell, i want to scream
i want to feel pain, anything would be better
than this feeling i have right now
my body is shaking, my mind is quaking, my heart is breaking
i have never felt this way inside, for i have never really cared
i walked the tightrope, and you cut the string
i had fallen in love, i was head over heals
i was over the fact i was acting like a love stricken fool
i didn't care what they said, i didn't care what they thought
you did though, you cared a lot
their words stole you away, their judgment was too much
you walked away, and didn't look back
you held your head high, you didn't even say goodbye
i want to be angry, but yet all i can do is cry

no one understands
the way she feels inside
no one really cares
if she lives or dies
no one really knows
this life that she has lived
for no one has ever tried
to see what is inside
the sneer remarks
slash her every time
from smiling girls
with way to much pride
she walks away with her head high
even though she is dying inside
her life is hard
filled with tears, and hate
a dead-beat dad
a mom that does not care
different people come and go
from her parents bed
this life she lives day by day
tears her apart inside
she makes her choices
to try and numb the hate
she makes her life a little
easier to take away the pain
the pain she feels inside
is taken away by the high
the high she makes in her mind
these people think they know
everything about her
they make judgements
and do not really know
this live she has to survive
no one really knows

you cry, and you howl for my affection
yet when i try to show you love
you run away, with that look on your face
that has stolen my heart
a look that says, "now that i've got your attention, follow me!"
so we play our games, you never tire
you make me trip, you make me fall
but yet me heart remains yours
you fall asleep by my side
then want to leave at some ungodly hour of the morning
then you cry, and you howl for my affection
and i can't help but love you Freddy
you are mine, and i am yours
Freddy for being such a small thing
you are a very large pain
you silly, stubborn, naughty, yet lovable
              cat.

The paper in the drawer was the only one
who knew everything about her
The pencil with no lead knew
she had a story to tell
Her heart felt more than she would ever admit
No one knew this girl
Except the paper in the drawer and
The pencil who had written it all

there are no words, only feelings that cannot truely be shown
no one knows exactly how she feels, it makes her feel so
Alone
no one is there, no one is around
her heart is filled with something that has her
Confused
she has never felt this before
it Hurts
it makes her feel so
Sad so Sick
it brings tears to her eyes
it steals the energy from her body
to fuel its ever growing
Pain
it will not go away, no matter how hard she tries, tries to
Forget
yet it always finds a way to bring itself to the front of her mind
nagging her until she can take it no longer
she gives in, gives in to its unstoppable persistance
it drives her mad
it is always there, it never leaves her alone this feeling
it is as if its only objective is to break her down
tear down her will until it is absolutely nothing
until all that is left is a
Scared
Hurt
little girl alone, and afraid of the monsters lurking in the darkness
waiting, waiting for her to return to them
return to their grasps, for the little girl had left many years ago
yet they knew one day that she would come back to their lair
for the feeling growing in her heart was no match for the girl
they would go on playing their games
passing her back and forth, and she lets them
she waits until one day when their fun is over
and they are through
thoughts of freedon are the only things that keep her going
for without them she would be consumed
consumed by pain, and fear
she knows, knows that there are fields of daisy flowers
waiting for her to come to them
for one day she will be free

pure joy
complete bliss
total happiness
a smile that stretches a mile
a laugh that never quits

There is something deep inside of you
that no one else can see
it is something that is burried deep
so not even you can look and see

There is something burried so deep
inside of you something scary
something if anyone saw they would run
run away and never look back  
this is the reason why
you keep your secret hidden away

There is something burried deep
inside of you that you have never
let anyone see
but yet no one has every tried
to open this hidden box burried so deep

There is something hidden
so very very deep inside of you
it makes me want to see
it makes me want to see
the light of your misery
it draws me near and ever so excites
the curiosity dwelling inside of me

There is something deep inside of you
that will come out someday

There is something deep inside of you
that shall never frighten me away
so open up that box inside
share the secrets within

im sorry, im sorry that people are so terrible
im going to apologize for them because they are to caught up in themselves to realize that they are wrong
so im sorry for people who are rude to you
and who think that it is okay to belittle you
because it makes them feel better about themselves
so im sorry for the days that have gone all wrong
im sorry for the people who just dont seem to care
im sorry for the people who dont realize what they do to others
im sorry for the people who dont get what they deserve in life
but most of all im sorry for the people who should be saying this

Lost in a vast forest
Escape before he finds you
Confused as to what you did
Hurt, afraid, angry
Feeling so small
Watch out, here he comes
Run as fast as you can
Can’t escape his rage
Each hit feels like a hammer
He grabs your throat
Can’t breath, eyes water
Don’t cry, be strong
Let him think he won
The blows stop
He leaves with pride
Alone, feeling irrelevant
Bruises show his wrath
Tears can’t take away the pain inside
Marks fade, but the memories still remain

the beat of a drum
the strum of a guitar
the voice of an artist
my heart beats with the rhythm of the song
my blood rushes through my veins
making me feel so alive
my eyes are closed as my heart soars
the sound of a song
the motion of my body
feeling everything
yet nothing
complete bliss
the words swirl around me
engulfing me
filling me with something unimaginable
feeling as if everything were okay
for just one moment its only
me & the drum

Young hearts screaming
yet silence remains,
Unshed tears are streaming
while all love evaids

Clean souls are tainted
as true hatred shades,
The cruelty of smiled painted
while never-ending pain fades

In the light of the darkness
an animal is born,
True beauty filled with starkness
memories of pain never forlorn


Pure evil inside fighting to flee
Dreams of peace will never be

The tears she cried said she was
scared
Her empty bed said she was
alone
A hole in her heart said she had been
used
The blood under her nose said
she had lost her way
A straw on the table said
she was past the point of any return
Cold handcuffs around her tiny wrists
told a tale of justice
The walls in her house kept silent
for they had seen too much to tell

have you ever felt pure blind rage?
have you ever been so angry all morals disappear?
have you ever felt as if your blood was boiling?

have you ever felt complete bliss?
have you ever been so happy you felt as if you could fly?
have you ever felt as if  you blood was made out of glitter?

have you ever felt consumed by grief?
have you ever been so sad when you took at breath if felt as if your lungs and heart were collapsing inside of you?
have you ever felt as is your blood was made of tears?

have you ever felt so high that everything was funny?
have you ever been so high that everything in this world was grand?
have you ever felt as if everything were in place for a reason?

have you ever had a moment in time where you just felt?
have you ever been so in touch with yourself you felt everything?
have you ever felt as if you were completely human?

My history was more like a war
A war not like an ordinary war  
This wasn’t a kind of war
That took place in a different country
This was a war inside the home  
This wasn’t a kind of war
Where you used guns, and tanks
This was a war of the mind  
A war where you used words
Words as your weapons
Greed as your alibi
This was the kind of war
The kind of war that made you wish
Wish you were fighting in some
Remote country
With 115 degree weather
With mosquitoes the size of small birds
Feeding on your blood
No this is no ordinary war
It is a war inside the home
A war of the mind

i stand in a twisted sea
my face stings as the waves slap against me
they pull at my limbs, trying to tear me apart
i try to get away, swimming as fast as i can
but the waves pull me further into the storm
the waves seem to grow stronger as my fear increases
i start to loose hope
the waves are going to win
i let them pull at me, willingly let them take me under
the water burns as it goes down my throat, and into my screaming lungs
my brain starts to go into a frenzy
sending signals to my drowning body
suddenly my arms feel as if they are flying
my legs feel a strength they have never felt before
i am going to make it
i am going to win
finally my head breaks through the surface
i take in deep breaths trying to calm the burning sensation in my chest
in the distance i spot an island
i feel a renewed hope
the waves start to die down, as i swim towards the shore
the heat caresses my body as the sand takes my shape
i will never leave this place
for once i feel safe

Why do we cry when we loose someone we love?
Perhaps we cry because we wish to hold them in our arms forever.
It may be because we wish to see them smile for one more day.
Or possibly we yearn to hear them laugh just one more time.
It's possible we pine to have them stand by our side and protect us from the misfortunes that life brings upon us.
It could be that we feel we need them to hold us as we cry for our losses and hear their voice telling us it will all be okay.
What would one give just to say "I love you." just one last time?
Or to let them know that we will never forget a single moment spent together, or any day you can remember.
To show them the love you will hold for them forever and ever.

Pictures on the wall tell a story
A story of a girl
A fabricated story of the life
They thought she lived
For no one ever saw the bruises
The bruises hidden under her clothes
No one ever saw the blood on her lips
They thought she lived a happy life

No one knew the monster
No one knew the man she loved
No one knew the evil inside of him
No one saw the despair in her eyes
No one heard her silent cries for help
No one knew until it was to late
No one knew until she could take it no longer

He took her life one day
When her body could take not one more beating
She stayed strong, and smiled for she saw her God
She was free of pain, of suffering
She was finally free

shed a tear, scream out loud
never forget the day
you walked right in
and walked back out
leaving a trail of pain
all it took, all i needed
was to see you everyday
it was to much you could not take it
my love was never enough
you wanted what i could not give
but you stole it anyway
my innocence will never stray
your monster mind will not decay
you left your mark
i will always know
i cannot forget
the impact you have made on me
you took your toll on my life
i will never be the same
i let you in
you showed me how
you stole my heart
but yet you wanted what
i would not give
all it took to say goodbye
was one look out the door
i watched you leave
because all i said was no