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950 · Oct 2016
CALIGULA'S HORSE
Tom Dawe Oct 2016
Caligula, wise man of course,
Sought due promotion for his horse:
With no prerequisite debate,
The beast became a magistrate.

And then one day, without a groom,
He clopped into the Senate Room,
Followed beastly intuition,
Became an instant politician.

Without regard for poll or slate,
He soon demolished all debate.
And senators called out for more
When he did wonders on the floor.

With misdemeanor as the rule
He was a true unbridled fool,
Guided by a brute suspicion,
Stamping out all opposition.

He was reviled by common folk,
Democracy was deemed a joke;
To quote the ancient anecdotes,
He once said, "Let them all eat oats!"

Now that he's passed beyond declension
His legacy deserves attention:
Some politicians to this day
Still emulate the equine way:

They clop and neigh, they snort and roar,
There's always something on the floor;
They pound their desks, they're downright corny
Making all the issues thorny.

Don't wonder when they clown around
And seem so shockingly unsound;
Just trace the madness to its source:
Caligula adored his horse.

— The End —