The rain falls harder then it had before transporting me back to a prior point in my timeline.
to thoughts of a past I had forgot and a me that was free of the bonds of responsibility a time of innocence. When the future was not considered and the now was all I knew, the thought of family and love were giants off in the distance. As the rain brings these memories rushing into my mind, I am wrap myself in them like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.
The lightening and thunder snaps me back to the now that I currently occupy, further from where I was closer to where I want to be. My past fondly remembered and my future in sight not knowing where or how to get there but enjoying the ride and the partner God gave me to finish this journey.

When you feel alone I will be there
when you feel scared I will hold you
when your at your end I will walk you further
I will never be far behind you, and never ahead
I will be by your side when you need me the most
have you guessed who I am
I am love I will never leave you alone again
lean on me for I will always be there

I had lost faith in where I was supposed to be
I felt I was at my end, my limitation.
I had lost what I most treasured in life.
when I fell to my knee's and left it at the altar
my heart was renewed and was blessed with a second chance
A chance to love, a chance at happiness and a life fulfilled
A love renewed is stronger then it's predecessor
more determined to survive

There came a time to make a promise
Not just any promise for any reason
but the promise of a lifetime, it could mean the end of me.
The promise to you of space will cause pain
The pain is not important if your heart is saved from the undue pressure of a premature decision.
There is hope that this promise will bode well for me, but there is no promise from you.
They always say the line if you love it let it go, but that to me is a bunch of ****!!
I believe if you really love someone you fight you give everything you have everything you are for that love.
You swear allegiance to it, you feed it, you protect it no matter what and if I ever get the chance to be loved by the other half of me I will do everything in my power to protect us and build it strong that is my true promise to you.

Where have you gone the one that soothed my troubled soul
who made me whole, who has completed me as I am not whole without you.
We were caught in a torrent of life that rocked our world and left you gone.
Is it to late to find you, to find us, to get back what was once great.
I pray daily for the mending of your heart, and the renewal of our love.
I promise to love, cherish, and to forever respect and worship your heart as if it was mine
I will carry when you cant walk, hold you when you want to collapse
support you when you need me most, and be your everything that you need me to be.
I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my days rebuilding your trust and love in me.

I cant see where I am, there are no landmarks
what I used to see that guided my heart is gone
why cant I see you? Where have you gone?
Are you lost in the darkness that surrounds me?
I wish I was alone here but through my pain I have dragged others hearts into this despair.
I pray for peace to those caught in my wake, please forgive me and find that elusive happiness that your truth. I will find peace here in the dark as it devours my soul, there is no hope it seems with my light gone one she may return till then the dark is my prison my punishment till time ends.

In the depth of the human soul there is an evil that lurks, an evil that if unchecked will run rampant and destroy the most precious item that we will ever own
We protect it, guard it, we hold it close.
We give it away sometimes freely
And sometimes not at all it our own heart.
When you bow to evil and give into the whims of a maddening voice echoing in your mind,
You destroy the second most precious thing to you the heart that loves.
it loves u though it isnt your it feels pain though not their's and sacrifce all without hesitation.
this is a rare gift that evil doesn't cherish and so easily devours, this is done feeling evil is you mate and truth is yours. But be not fooled for evil will soon leave your once happy soul with its refuse of pain dispair and regret.
Evil has done his job and with such little effort to find the weakness in a mind, soul, or heart he has left not one but to victims to his unquenchable hunger for misery.
You sit alone full of regret in the destruction and pain you have caused, unsure how to recover that gift God has given you that you so readily threw away. The only hope you have is to pray and beg and do a lufetime of work in fixing what evils has done and stopping him from doing this again