the ghost light flickered –
i watched as the moths killed themselves over it
‘have you heard there was a coup?’ i asked
‘don’t speak so loud!’ she said

the security checkpoints had been chaos
they would shine the flashlight inside the car
see my skin
tell us to pull over

‘they just need bread’ she told me

i looked down at my whiskey
& saw a mosquito struggling on the surface
‘there’s a mosquito in my drink’
‘don’t worry, you’re strong’ she laughed

i had already drunk too much
but when you have a habit every glass becomes your last
i scratched my bitten legs and zoned out
my white socks now brown from the dust

some guy next to me with a militant face
was smoking cigarettes and coughing at the same time
the coup had made everyone quiet

‘its getting late’ she said
initiating the deal

‘how much?’ i asked
1500
too much.
1000
950
deal.

i woke up on her mattress
but cannot recall how i got there
she pulled me on top for round 2
head swimming, i finished fast
& left

never saw her again

© tobiaskinti

from the throne
he sees only checkerboard tactics
from little mice with dynamite in their mouths
& cauldrons full of jealousy
we serve falsely
until the knife can be reached
that is life –
with or without a virus
the man comes home
earlier than expected
to find out his 15 year marriage is a sham
a woman sells everything she has
to jump continents for a man
who craves money
we breathe in & out
& eye each other like mutts
true good deeds fly by like comets;
we just drink to it & wonder
fists clench & teeth crack when our hearts are rocked
men sit in smokey rooms and discuss it
the dogs wait outside and help them stumble home
the taxi drivers feel your pockets
life feels like a war sometimes
with your mind
& your heart, wife, wallet, addiction, demons
& chosen saviour
jesus was who i selected & everyday i hear him creak
& threaten to collapse in on me
for we talk too much & say things we shouldnt
lay our eyes on ******* & *** & *****
until our little rods swell
we like money and tasting things that **** us
we’re hopeless at not being snakes
its a mongrel world
pedigrees get eaten and left on the riverbank
we pick our gums and count money
the sun burns the skin but never seems to rise
the smoke rises from coal fires but never warms the soul
we roll the dice on everything
& aim our cannons at the gods

relentlessly

© tobiaskinti

my pregnant wife sleeps in the heat of the afternoon
dead moths crumble on the office window sill
its a silent hot day;
perfect for strange memories
to come & pay a visit
like when me & her
drew blood from each others fingertips
& gave vows
in the ears of the kingdom
& the pit
never knowing the consequences
for she was hopeful
& i was drunk
we stand together today
with those vows
recognized by the cosmos
praying day & night
failing day & night
falling short
forever

together.



© tobiaskinti

dust is the truth of life
old mas sow seeds besides the highway
& wheeze through sandbag lungs
kids write curses on ***** windscreens
& wait for an apocalypse

all of life navigates on the promise of dust
& the exchange of lies
being cast out on the wind

the wheels always rust
& the flies always kiss
the dying dogs ears

dust is all there is;
your triumph
your heartbreak
your perseverance
your security
your affairs

dust is all there is;
the crooked judge
the fruit presser with awful eyes
the pimps & the night women
the gossip shop keeper
the bush boy
the president

dust is all there is

© tobiaskinti

kids are enjoying the pool;
im lurking in the office
souls in a ring of fire
trying to hose it out with whiskey
its not supposed to be like this but
i was born for it.

people are out enjoying the sunshine
i wonder if one day they will marvel at the demons
that dictate to me
wouldnt be a novel thing in this world

the sun beats down on us all
im getting used to sniffing out the ugly
there are no saints;
only snakes and holy water

i want to bow down but i cant figure out where

the kids are still in the pool

© tobiaskinti