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Tobias Graves May 2013
The flash of that camera shook us all
We separated all at once after the parties
Disappeared from our lives
We only hear stories of your journey
Making it big or breaking it all
You got the pretty girl going to Utah
The quiet acquaintance moving to Florida
Best Friend staying in touch 500 million miles away
I see you all and I’m just the lonesome castaway
I’ll stay here and sink in these past to present events
I look back at all those fun times and think of you all
But why did it have to end so soon, who dropped the ball?
Oh yeah, the ******* end was coming
We just didn’t notice that impending doom
The end of apathetic youth they call it
What a strike from a reality hit
We’ll bump into each other and talk on long bus rides
Let’s try to do something together
Or does this mean you’re moving on?
To bigger, better things?
Or are you just **** tired of me?
How can it be?
We were such good friends
Another wound with that knife
I guess that’s just life
- T.G.
Tobias Graves Jun 2013
Goodbye my long forgotten love story
We shared our youth spending glory
Those days of innocence have finally closed
My heart has ceased with the overdosed
You shared your green pretty eyes with me
I forgot how that smile was my long lost key
Unlocking hidden dreams of our gorgeous passing days
We've had our dragging overdue pays
Changing for the better
Changing for the worst

Reminiscing over fond memories of the past
Keeping this conversation alive to last
My thoughts of you are calming down
With all these painful doubts to drown
You call me up and whisper with your soft voice
We always had our year long choice
Pretending to hate our junior age
Moving unto the distance with this blank page
Writing down our new adventures
With or without each other
We won’t share this same cover
But we’ll mention each other in these memories book
Once in a while we’ll take a loving look
At what we had layed down long ago
When we grow old and begin to go

You’ll remember my glasses
I’ll remember your side smiling glances
You’ll remember my stupid haircuts
I’ll remember how our love drove me nuts
You’ll remember our quiet conversations
I’ll remember our silent hesitations
You’ll remember my poor departed eyes
I’ll remember your beautiful ***** blonde hair
You’ll remember my silly way to care
I’ll remember the yellow dress you wore
You’ll remember my last steps out the door
We’ll remember our love forever and ever

Goodbye, my yellow dress girl
We change for the better, my dear
Something I came to fear for many a year
We’ll remember the day we held those storybook hands
This is my last love letter to you
The Yellow Dress Girl
Gone and gone
Away into happiness
Fading away into happiness
Happiness for as long she lives
Goodbye, my beautiful bride, she’ll never be
- T.G.

Goodbye to my yellow dress girl.
Tobias Graves May 2013
We ran away together from those naysayers
Escaping the criticism of the one act players
Running around, it’s close to midnight
You have to go, but please stay here
We’ll hide under blankets and set the light
We were never meant to be
You even said that to me
But I couldn't give a ****
I’ll follow you all over, darling
These are just broken blossoms & blooms

Young love and shattered promises
Sounds like a typical high school love story
But who could care, we sure as hell didn't
You fluttered around my head with worry
I said darling try not to hold onto that fear
Just take the freedom and run
Embrace your excitement

Your father asks where you've been
Finding my prints on your window
I never knew it to be
When we could never see
What we couldn't grasp with those broken blossoms
And Shattered blooms we shared together
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
I saw you dancing away
With no care that day
These faded memories return quickly
You swing your arms around with such freedom
Falling in and out of love so spontaneously,
Your fragile face with that tender smile.

How sad that we hardly speak anymore,
Separation and our lives tore
A single word means so much
Wondering what happened to our touch.
You ask me why are you so sad?
Don’t worry, I feel a little bad
I'm not the right girl for you.
A quiet loneliness between us two
The sigh of a ******* lonely heart.
You turn your back on the past dirt
Moving away in that pretty purple skirt

Go ahead and be happy, my Vienna Angel
You deserve all the love in the world
You don’t need any more pain
What was there ever to gain?
From all this old heartache
It was true for the time
I told you “I love you, Caroline”, in that old car of yours
You curled next to me in the backseat
Giving me that warm, soft smile
And If I ever see you again in my life
With that carefree dance you hold
I’ll glance over and share a soft smile
- T.G.
Tobias Graves Oct 2013
Collapsing into that buried grave
No one to come and save
From all these monstrous thoughts
Those days of long night shots
Everyone leaving and going home
Let under this lonesome dome
Setting up my dead soul’s piece
When will this decay cease
The failure of my human journey
Finding the transformation within me
Leaving those broken bones and dead relationships
Burning those promises and friendships
Goodbye, my soul
Dig yourself out from this six foot hole
Be rid of this two year sore
It cannot take anymore
No one else matters
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Breaking our hands apart
In this loud mini-mart
You hate that touch
It’s just too much
Well when will it be enough?
That’s just tough
Pretending to care
I make this one swear
You’ll be taken care of
When will I get this love?
Retrieving this caring hand back from you
Just give me one **** clue
You’re not what I was expecting
Your old soul is not worth resurrecting
What’s with all this mess?
This is just my best guess
We’re too unalike
Thrown into this month long sike
I said that’s it
Enough of this endless pit
- T.G.
Tobias Graves Jun 2013
Arriving off from the air above
Smelling that fresh new wave love
This young man who wanted to search
Finding his long thought out crush
Thinking of a new era and dawn
Walking under these castles as a small pawn
Among these tall kings and queens
You see the foreign glances and backward dances
Wondering where to go and where to stay low
Out of sight, out of mind
I wouldn't mind spending some time
With a fine dime like you, my darling
On an everlasting journey to find the better half
The half I can say that succeeds over me
Everything I need and everything I wanted
See cleans up the mess, left on this used table
I want to see you more, what is your name label?
Traveling through these dishes and hisses
To find my true love at last
Let’s take our flight and make off with a dash
There’s just something about your face
The feel of your scarred hands and restless fingers resting with mine
I’m just here to tell myself it’ll be fine
Looking for that long thought love
Different parts
Different lands
Different plans
Different lives
Different loves
Different Girl
I know you’re out there
Looking for that lovely brown hair
Moving towards the unknown
Who would've ever known?
This writer’s eyes of the uncertainty
Would find your eyes of blue
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
These ruins of this broken marriage
Can’t we pull away without a carriage?
You ran away from these troubles
I just sat around in those puddles
Afraid of being alone as you took off
Tied in knots like how we were first
Left to wonder what was so wrong
Darling, please don’t be gone

What was so bad that made you run?
How can we be so far from being done?
We have so much to say, so much to do
You stop yourself to close your eyes
Making everything of distant memories
You danced away into the darkness
Out of sight, out of mind
You are one of a kind
You’ll be those flower dancing girls I’ll never get over
I’m a mess my dear red rover
Come back to me, please
No more of this tease

Then you combed your hair onto your shoulders
Dropping your eyes onto me like boulders
Leaving this tender whisper in my ear
We’ll be together someday
Just waiting for the again day
Come back to me my dear
I promise, please don’t fear
She flees from the distance of the phone
Disappearing into the adventurous unknown
Listening for her voice to return
Checking for the redial turn
Waiting for my flower dancing girl
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
When you fall asleep
You forget our tired weep
Everything all at once
In this shared past
These forgotten troubles
Series of painful rubbles
Moving forward onto dawn
But only stay here with your yawn
Close your eyes my dear
There’s nothing left to fear
It’s a quiet night downtown
There is no reason to frown
We’re away from the world
Let’s not get hurled
By all these sad and strange goodbyes
We speed down the road ahead
Trying to get to our bed
With highway thoughts and a clustered mess
Darling, I’m just trying my best
As we all share these sad goodbyes
Parting away from these retired lies
Keep your closed eyes of beautiful blue
Driving away, Darling, I wish this wasn’t true
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Curtains close to the final performance
Seeing you run to me with such romance
Missing that feeling of excite
Remembering your extreme delight
That smile you raise to be
Your eyes still blue and beautiful to me
You share your thoughts and kindness
Even when I was still a mess
You waved your hair around
I was sure to keep bound
Long ago sharing with love
Returning with a jokingly shove
Being proud of you
Just between us two
Ahead of the playing field
You have yet to yield
I’ll always look forward to seeing you
With your bright beautiful eyes of blue
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
This innocence and blindness we had
I wish it never made me feel bad
It was nice to not be subjected to this mindset
Keeping positive thoughts and familiar optimism
All those are forgotten before you even grow up
Trying to retain that shield from the outside
Just learning to live with the tense ride
It was a crazy time, it was a crazy moment
It was just a stage that we didn't understand
Let’s move on from this and fake our smiles
Show off our eyes instead of our scars
Move along with the few and not the rest
We’ll stick around and stay with the best
The club of the few, you and me only
Maybe we can grow up and be boring
But let’s be kids for a little while longer now
You want to ask me how?
We just tell each other stupid jokes
Laugh at that incomplete farm house
Let’s just find some kind of happiness
Let’s just find that innocence
Let’s avoid all these little problems for a little while longer
Thank you, my dear
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
You’re so stressed
You’re so undressed
You’re so bipolar
You’re so all over
You’re so **** tired, darling

Upset at the world
You just want to be hurled
People who've been there for you
They aren't even getting their due
Laying down on their knees
With all those chains and keys
Dangling from their legs
All you do is whine and begs
Your short brown hair drowned
This queen isn't going to get crowned

She’ll flail with tears
Then screaming with fears
How can you help this angel?
She’ll just let your conscious dangle
What’s left to help her with?
She’s just going to be a losing myth
I’ll stay and help her though
She just needs help to grow

You’re so not worth it
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
This bedroom filled with memories
Familiar lights holding harmonies
Trying to forget that rose peddle smell
Remembering all of that  hell
Our final day together, it was late at night
I put myself in such a consistent fright
Asking the wrong questions
Feeling like therapy sessions
I tried to think of something to do
This only thought was true
Our end came to be
You would never see me

The way you looked at me was gone
Reality checked in at dawn
For one whole year
I still miss you my dear
I spend twelve months thinking of you
Can’t get my head out of this fuzzy hue
Making those silly mistakes
That face of yours in my tears of lakes
My heart became a sickness
How can I find you again, miss?
I can’t have you be a distant memory
Can’t you tell I can see?

No time left to fix
We can never be in this mix
As dumb as it sounds
Making all these regretful pounds
How much you meant to me
Losing your love at sea
You call from far away
Making me pay
For all the damage
You turned to a razor edge
It’s been a whole year
And I just remembered today, my dear
I try to forget about you
Darling, I wish that wasn't true
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Its 2:15AM and I’m here awake
Trying to get over this massive headache
Laying on this cold tile floor
Continuous thoughts about everything
You slam your front door in my face
Nothing left to embrace
I have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
I find this old familiar place
Pretending that I’m safe
Looking at that silly reflection
Yelling at the broken face that yells back
Trying to get better
Trying to feel okay
Trying to get over you
This is my safe place
My own escape case
It’s all I've got
That raindrop reflection in the mirror
Late night contemplation's and its only 2:16AM
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Ramona, whoa, whoa Ramona
Whoa, whoa, Ramona
I see you lying there in your bedroom
Gathering all these thoughts in your headroom
You can never just take a break
Just taking in all this heartache
Lying there in your white t-shirt
Accepting and concealing all this hurt
Oh please, Ramona, just take a second to breathe
We can just take our leave
Go somewhere far away
Never needing to pay
For all the hate and anger we share
We’ll run away on this dare
Ramona, why don’t you just hide?
Show me your honest side
We’ll just play alone at night
We’ll turn off the light
Let’s not worry
Let’s just hurry
To that quiet place we call escape
- T.G.
Tobias Graves Jun 2013
I start to hear familiar piano chords
The release from these dusty old swords
I search for that old sound to find you
You've paid your long overdue
Starting over with this old and new
Seeing your bright green eyes shine
Waiting for me to call you mine
Getting that dancing smile glance
This may be my only second hand chance
To ever have to be together again
Leaving all regrets and failures in my den
Meaningless to my own ear
I just want to be with you, my dear
The trumpets call out from the distance
Your Christian angel hood showers over your face
I’m trying to get to your heart without haste
Just thinking of new possibilities
Contemplating these new utilities
Even if we aren't meant to be
Just to hear your voice is love to me
Chatting in that old car of yours
Shutting those tender thought doors
Romancing back to those February days of love
She’ll wait and fly into the purple night sky
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Always wearing these rose colored glasses
You’re making all these old card passes
We’re not the same anymore
Just this open wound sore
Remembering these broken blossoms and blooms
Wiping away these memories with brooms
Sharing this forgotten past
These things won’t ever last
Old heartbroken mazes
Falling into these confused dazes
You don’t want to speak of it
You’re getting tired of this repeated ****
I had hopes with you
For everlasting two
When can these harmonies just die?
You always have a hidden cry
That one moment of honesty
It was only you and me
Forget all these happy times
After all those failed signs
Look at all these love messages send
I guess this is just our bitter end
Time to take these rose colored glasses off
Goodbye to your broken blossoms and blooms forever
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Before we parted this way
I tried to think of something to say
My achievements take a toll
As my love continues to spiral down this hole
I had to make a promised sacrifice
Paying for this broken price
I spend hundreds of months by myself
Setting up this imaginary shelf
Your face is blue stained glass
The choir boys come to a mass
You’re so lovely in that purple dress
While I stand in the middle of this mess
I have a grand plan to stay on tasks
We hideaway these poison flasks
If I could have both to cherish
My body wouldn't erupt to perish
Your body is warm, it brings me home
I find myself alone in this empty dome
Wishing to live forever here
If only I could find out a way, my dear
I wouldn't rush into unopened gifts
All that is left is these forged drifts
When will I have a darling like you by my side?
Love has become a part that died
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
I wish we had the time
This Seattle love of mine
To be someone else but we
It’d just be you, this wet dock and me
Adventures into the unknowns
We’d stray away from the boring drones
Even if our time was few and far in between
You would whip your curly long hair and lean
I took you down to the sea and we looked out quite far
There goes a dolphin out at the striking sea
Sunsets drown over the soft sight without haste
We go on scavenger hunts in Pike Place
It’s going to be a race
If I win you give sacrifice a kiss
She gets the head start, don’t be a miss
Running through the crowds that were spread across
Orange and yellow lights set the mood to cross
Live playing with care free visitors
We run and scream for fun
She wins and I am out of luck done
In the end she places a soft one on my cheek
A little red blushing makes a peek
This pretty girl shares her rare cute giggle
That’s underground Seattle love
For what it was worth being with this dove
It was our moment where time froze
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
It was a Tuesday Night
Curtains open to our favorite band
Send out that extreme laser light
Loud Music and Rock N’ Roll
The stench of **** and love carry onward that night
This pretty girl grabs my hand and we share the sight
Large screams and the heavy sounds roam the room
We stay close together, only eyeing each other
Just sharing silent conversations at one another
No words spoken, no shyness hinders
We share this common interest
Your red hair flows down the back of your gray shirt
Your brown coat tied around your waist
We’re just getting ready for the bass
We dance the night away with Starlight
Oh, how we could stay like this, we might
The Encore ends and we part ways
You dissipate into the crowd
Only left with the mystery and memories of your presence
- T.G.
Tobias Graves Jun 2013
These ocean currents come pulling in
This is our only time to have this win
I look over to you with your sunglasses
You make those side smile dashes
I remember all the times we could have had
Oh, how it made me feel so mad
Not to take those distant chances
For those all night dances
Running around with your hand by my side
Let’s go somewhere and take our secret hide
You brushed your hair over the dock
All these memories that never passed the clock
I’m the romantic hopeless
You’re such a hot mess
Let’s stay together, my dear
That’s the only thing left I fear
How long will it be for us to stay this way?
All the words I am never able to say
Before you leave and never return
How many times I had my stomach churn
From these failed pasts and potential love aches
Crashing onto your shore with the dozen mistakes
You wiped away the crushing fury with a tear
We’ll meet again someday, don’t fret my dear
Comforting words, holding onto my Sydney
We’ll meet again someday; you’ll be dear to me
Traveling together forever, that never was to be
- T.G.

For all the people with forgotten chances and wishful futures.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Sitting in this yellow room of yours
Planning our great get away of bores
This sunny spring day shines on us
We are holding each other without a fuss
Practicing our secrets before we’re out
Our childhood means nothing now
We got to please leave, get out of here
Make these promised vows and run my dear
She was crazy for me
I was crazy for her
We were crazy for us to be
Hiding under the blankets of your covers
Hanging onto these cliffs of dovers
Swearing to our solemnly prayers
I’ll play with your long golden hairs
For as long as we are to be near
We’ll hold hands together, looking into this mirror
Then run away from all the unsolved problem
Was I ever supposed to know I was going to feel numb?
I’m so tired of these rests
We are just out on our lasting bests
Fantasies are just busy thoughts
Like writing down lists and dots
Just untrue marks and this ten month lie
I just feel like I could die
The sacrifices of this expression
When should I bring this to mention?
What comes next, what will be best?
Is this right, is this wrong?
I’m so tired, so heavy with thinking
I wonder what we’re doing tonight?
And for every night for the next one hundred years.
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Seeing you lie there
Forever entranced with sleep
We’re just the herds of sheep
Saying our goodbyes
Without anymore lies
I want to keep you with me
It was too late to see

Cold hands, shivering palms
The lifeless body of your calms
I see you take the escape now
But why did you have to go?
Please stay here tonight
You are the family’s hovering kite
The spirit of these past fortunes
Even with all your misfortunes
You were loved by many
I’ll keep you close to my heart

You’ll be off to a better place
All my faith in you will carry on
Heading off to that golden pond
Loving arms and warm embraces
We’ll hold onto your memories
Rest peacefully, for these last ten years
There are no more spears
If only this wasn’t the factor
The goodbye to my gray haired actor
Just keep your watch overhead
While we dream of you in our bed
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
With all these old familiar chairs
We come to sit in new arrived pairs
The teacher speaks in monotone speeches
How much longer will he continue his preaches?
Then I turn to you my darling
You share that fresh start smiling
With that brunette hair rolling off your back
You filled my eyes from this black and white crack
Colors of flavor and new embraced slides
We speak about these tales of story tides
Busting in with these staring contests
No one can bother us, not even these pests
We spend all this time on the run
We’ll never be far from being done
From all these writing numbers and little talks
We’ll escape from this reality and into stone chalks
Let’s think of one hundred things to do
I’ll be looking at these untold pasts and upcoming new
We’ll reach those new horizons my dear
Your green eyes staring into that broken mirror
Crashing onto that hood of twenty cars
We’ll never have these potential scars
Only one day that we met
We were never meant to have a set
Maybe we’ll meet again someday
One day we’ll just be okay
Just move on and single these moments alone
While I lay to rest in dust and bone
Till we meet again my siren
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Best Friend of mine
We would always be fine
You would come to me
And you would also see
My problems and honesty
We felt so free
Oh, Best Friend
We would see the happy end
It’s only till high school
That we fell into this empty pool
Breaking this heart of mine
You felt completely fine
But this broken soul to be
Was able to see
Your manipulation and false honesty
We were no longer free
Oh, Best Friend
We had reach our bitter end
That hate within
Has not grown thin
Goodbye to you, Best Friend
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
It was Valentine’s Day
We started our play
Ignored all the judging faces
We were starting our traces
Both wearing red
Far from being dead
Holding our heads together
Hoping to stay this way forever
Your long ***** blonde hair
You had that to share
Everything I needed from you
You were my encouraging glue
Always feeling safe from the world
We would be together curled
In that old car of yours
Never shutting our bruised doors
Opening up with each other
Holding our promises with one another
She never knew you
But she found what was true
And that was the start of love
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
Smash cut to my alarm clock
We’re in a movie
This is the story of an apathetic college guy
He meets a silly white girl who he spirals into love with
She wears black and smiles with such honesty
I need to look for any possible sign at all
I hate tripping onto my own fall

Smashing my face on the pavement
Let’s move that to a zoom in, close up
Plot Conflict, Disappointment to see you walk with some other guy
The antagonist of this quote on quote love story
No standing chance to be with you
Watching you walk away
Every single day
Not a chance, Old Sport
Only hearing the echo of your laugh
What kind of **** is this?
How did I overlook this?
Someone give me a fighting chance!

Panning Shot, I try to find your usual trail
To share something with you
To make this lame-*** movie interesting
A common thing, a simple thing
Playing with your hair or taking on a dare
The end is coming soon
And I never even got a chance
To try to have you dance
For the final scene
What a wasted chase for such a pretty girl
Cut to black
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
When was the last time I saw you?
We've been long overdue
Losing our time to talk with each other
You've been locked up by your mother
I wonder what girl I’ll be talking to
It sometimes felt old and new

I guess I deserve the bad side
Our love, we shared had died
What can I do but listen to the pain?
I’ve never felt so much shame
Maybe if I write you one happy story
You’d feel a little bundle of glory
Recognizing the good I can do
You never came to appreciate the new
I felt so alone and cold
Maybe happiness will help the old
Hoping one day you’d read it
Just feeling one ounce of bright lit
Sharing that old soft smile of yours again

I hope you enjoy the tales
I write these under tired pales
Endless nights of rewrites
Kind of like spiraling kites
Tangled up and floating away
Every day, day after day
I write a hundred words down
There is no better way for a fool and his crown
The truth is I write because of you
You never make feel so blue
I’ll sit here at these keyboards
Trying to hold onto all of these musical chords
This is my best way of showing I love you
But all of this will come to drown
This is just my wishful spirit typing these memories down
- T.G.
Tobias Graves May 2013
I always pictured this one girl
I drew her out to have this gentle twirl
She would have long brown hair
Running down her back, so fair
She would have pale white skin
One hundred and one hair pins

She would wear the prettiest yellow dress
And she would be perfect for me
But she would tease you with what you could only see
She whispered funny things in your ear
You’re the only one who could hear
While we spend these times in your car
Everything parked and night afar
She would have these lovely curls
Wearing these hidden white pearls
She was what I could only imagine
The thought of her was my one true passion

We would run around with these engaged hands
And land at the beach into these old sands
You said to me, “Stop thinking of me, silly”
I never known what she meant
Until it came to me sent
She kneeled next to me
Gave me this long lasting sad smile with her perfect green eyes
Giving me these last sighs
“You’ll be happy one day, just wait a little longer”
I never had to make such a long ponder
My yellow dress girl vanished from me
Leaving me all alone with this open sea
Those last words took a great toll
Feeling like I was falling down this hole

All my love is genuine
Just love for me is in this pen
I write all these love poems
Hundreds of words for you my dear
I never meant to be so unclear
It’s true I lost you when I needed you the most
Creating these thoughts to stay as my mind host
Distracting these retired emotions
Setting these feelings with inventive motions
Erasing that flower dancing yellow dress
I will not be your tossed away mess
I've always cared for you my sweetheart
I’m just sorry that I broke your gentle heart
- T.G.

This is for a girl.

— The End —