Trust is like a jewellery
It's really expensive to one person
Giving it to others is like giving your soul away

I didn't gave my soul away but expected some belief
But I am a plant who suffered the tornado even before I was born
Tornado didn't cause me injury but gave me a lot to think about
Does my identity give name to my existence?

Am I a mere holder of life and not survivor of it?
Do I not have the right to let my wings open and fly in the immense sky?

I suffered even before I was born
I experienced which resulted in my own loss
People around me shaped me, made me into someone whose reflection I don't recognize

I am am survivor not an enjoyor
I have seen a lot, experienced a lot way before my age
I am a hypocrite because I lost my real self way before I recognized it
Only humans understands the pain other being goes through
But only an animal can be sated in someone's death

Life taught me something which I can never forget
But it taught me at the cost of myself which I can never forgive
I wanted to live but now I only survive
I survive as I owe someone's trust
I survive to prove that I can still survive...

I am hurt but not lost
I am broken but not shattered
I am breathing but not alive
I am me lost in time

Life was fun, full of joy
Now life is funny with no joy
I was young, dumb and fine
Now I am teen, aware and blind

Something happened but was unknown
Now nothing happened but is known
I was confused and overwhelmend
I have solved but still overwhelmend

I was aware but not brave
I am aware but not brave
I live in past with the present beside
I have future that fears the both
I am me lost in time...

I love you,
Is it not enough?

I hate you,
Is it not enough?

I died for you,
Is it not enough?

Why are you laying there?
when I have done everything
You don't talk to me like you used do
Am I not enough?
Talk to me or I'll find someone other than you
Then you have to find someone else
who will stay here with you
But let me tell you
No one can cope up with you
When all you do is nothing...

I am here for you,
Is it not enough?
Please come back to me
Because I am no me without you...

I have people around me
I talk to them, share my future goals with them
And tell them how I am as a human

They listen to me and keep their point of view
They do everything the way I want
They make up situations that I desire
And help me to get a pre- experience out things

But something is wrong
They do exactly what I want without saying anything
One day they are good to me and other they are bad
They just run on my fingertips

I get out from the room
I see my mum and my sister watching TV
I am in my house with my family
But still I feel I am in space, an empty space
I have no one to share my problems with
Because I am scared what people will think
So I create my virtual space that listens to me
Those people in my space are real
But in reality we have no connection
And life goes on with me dreaming about them
I dream of them so that they listen to me
I dream of them so I don't feel lonely
I dream of them that much that this life has becomed a dream for me...

I never spoke
I was always mute and nerdy
People called me shy
Maybe they were right
I was momma's and Papa's girl

But I tried to speak
Something or that one thing
I opened my mouth
I finally let it out
But when I came to my senses
I was only dreaming

This time I will speak
I have decided
After everything I have to speak
But I do not want anyone to worry
So I made myself a prisoner of my thoughts

Now I speak
I speak to hide
I speak to give hints
Because I am a coward
I never had the courage
I do not have the courage
And I will never have the courage

I wonder why I never speak
Is it my worry to make others worried
Or is it my ego that thinks I can withstand everything
But in the end it is my inability
My insecurities that chocked me to death

I wish I never existed
Because my existence is nothing like life
I write in silver and wish it to turn it red
But in all this sufferings I have the courage to survive it all
So I just do that

I survive because my destiny was never life.I survive because I just cannot live after thousands of tries, after oceans of crying and even after losing myself I just cannot live....

I am destined to be a survivor....

She wished she had more time
She wished she could laugh more
She wished she could grab more
She wished she could forget all

No one could save her
Her disease ate her from inside out
Still everyone tried
Even after her thousands cries

She did not know what she did
to deserve someone like him
But what she knew was
she can't have him

So
She pushed him before
She pushed him now
And she pushed him forever
Because she had to survive alone

She want to minimize the casualties
So she gave up the only thing that
made her laugh in all these times

Now she lays there
looking like an angel
Leaving us all mourning for her
He wished he had known
So that he would never let her go

She saved him from devastation
only to leave him in isolation...