the elephant in the room
is that I am beautiful
and you, as well
as this day’s potential

what is a day, but a rotation together
conscious magics between deep chasms of sleeps
we enter both world’s beauty willingly or not
with lizards running on desert rocks
and mister suicide’s cough
and gentle seeps, of that which is far too delicate to mention
but in small whispers

unrealized by walking remorse all over the island
I can see it
there is something about every day to frighten
yet there it is
beauty’s generous smile
given to those who grew up as you did
making the same mistakes

friends, happiness must come solely from generosity
what else fills the cup that floods the soul?
what else breaks habitual self-focused hysteria of selfishness and greed?
and vows not to perpetuate a small view of oneself, and others?
what else?

at best, tonight ends in rest-filled sleep with possibilities
of an old lover probably taken for granted

at worst, well, it can always get worse
no use dwelling on such things
those scenarios receive more than their fair share

quick one at the ale-house
heart open this january evening
dimly lit by coal-fueled electrical responses
illuminating habitual relapses of overconfident tones
and dishonest scared shitless eyes
clothed in the modern pigmented
grey and black dyed organic Patagonia cotton

everyone wearing grey and black?
even the messenger bags?
caps beanies glasses hair-clips

holding nothing against
fearless beauty loses the modern-cliched surroundings to be validated by none other than the undercurrent of the entire universe

Dark wood cabinets, black leather chairs, middle aged and greater men, college football in a backroom, with Lead Belly playing softly in this one

A cigar shop after sunset

You consider sticks to buy after selling tech stock, to stock the newly acquired humidity-controlled locker

When a pointer out of blind-spots
A predominantly nonverbal gent
Through strong, painfully sincere eyes
Points out one of yours

It involves moving past the need to announce one own's prowess

You take it
Without offense, defense, or alarm
As one sits in a circle, surrounded a ******* primal tribal commune, desperate to fix the issue of you - they need you better, you see

Dare not dismiss it
Even over the next mornings second cup of black

there's two ladies talking
about things
they don't dare mention

I need to backpack again
not to get away
but to go in
immersion!
into the elements
like sliding gently into a hot spring pool
I will go!
going in – deeply
to sightline’s ample expanse
where I am NOT a small fish
but a star, in my corner of the darkness
a sun – that builds with one’s willingness to see it’s place in the universe
a light that blankets itself across the breathing canvas
that is perceived and conceived
more than in different months and minds
but as an elevated mirage

I need to backpack again
beyond accessible peaks and valleys of the rockies
to shared trails rarely travel during winter seasons
only inhabited by a few birds and critters
and mountaineers preparing for their
“conquering of the seven summits”
I would gladly join either group, if invitations were sent
but would also be quite content now
to leave the earbuds in my pocket
to feel, to hear the prickling of the chilled alpine winds
through fibers in my wool beanie
even as I traverse slowly over rock, ice and snow

I need to backpack again
to scope out shades that would present themselves, and say hello
to reflect in all thy reflection
to breathe slower – and slower – and slower
breathing out toxins and anxieties
inadvertently allowed to enter my humdrum, my rhythm
effecting and infecting even my organs
the fresh altitude air now needs unfettered access to my lungs
and the snow-capped cloudless afternoons
give permission to much desired snow-blindness
coffee and tea take on new meaning as well
and each sentence of a sand county almanac can be read
and my muscles will gain power, endurance, fortitude
and thoughts of loved ones will fondly skew themselves
and I will be neither king nor extra
but a small dragon – with limitations and capacities equally known
emotion and temperament need not invent themselves here
not from the electron exchange within, but arriving from the west
I can see it all, I start to desire it all
from the front door of my office
it’s calling now, and I need to go