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This air bag is suffocating me.
All i can breathe is the sulfur.
I don't have a witness.
It's a bitter, sweet, sweet, pyrrhic victory.
Lights looking left are lights looking away.

I promise I'll drive into the distance.
Your lights illuminate only exits now.
You can drive around in circles for years and years and never do justice to all of your fears.
A traffic circle.
And the ringing in your ears is the car wreck I'm trying not to escape. This sulfur is suffocating me.
circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, stop.
1.8k · Feb 2011
Altruism ( All Truisms )
An altruistic act or just greed, my motivation is questioning, am I the selfless one or thinking of my own glory in suffering

My actions are never clear

I need to question everything that I do, Deep inside I know I should follow the golden rule always

If I get something out of it is it wrong or is it just always that way

My actions are never clear
1.5k · Feb 2011
No Face
The sun has gone and I'm lost without them.
If I hold my breath, they see through me.
So I try to breathe the air, to feel the air flow through me.
But the only one who sees me is the one with no face.

The monsters always care, the monsters always see, the air of anxiety surrounding me.
I create it with hope and caring, an open heart, a thought of sharing.
I try so hard to let go, so why don't I?
The only one who sees me is the one with no face.

For a friend, or an enemy, or anything I thought I wanted.
It's so hard to believe that this is what it's come to.
This is all I wanted but I never should have had.

The monsters always care, the monsters always see, the air of anxiety surrounding me.
There's nothing to fight when the air is your enemy.
I forgot my name.
I forgot who I am and I am left alone with the one with no face.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
It's only good luck that we had the first.
The quality of mercy is not strained but generous.
Substitution is realizing it could be you.
That we give of ourselves is our only saving grace.
Forgiveness is a responsibility.

It's not for your sake.
The world is what you make, but it's not for you.

The judgment we put on our friends stays with us, sticks to us, for all our days, it follows us through our lives, and it makes us who we are.

We make ourselves by who we love.

Forget and forgive and let all be done with.
It's a glorious thing to live and to let live.
Where there is anger, there's always a better way.
I'd rather be happy than right anyways.
This was the year to lose all of my friends.
Another person is not a means to my ends.
This isn't worth another moment of pain.
Maybe I like it. Maybe I'm wired that way.

*Once I've realized that fighting is never fair
I can't look away and pretend that I don't care
i followed tracks, traces, and visions, down the path i was told without revisions, but when i finally found the end, it didn’t complete me, it only deceived me

i thought that i’d just live a normal life and settle down with a house or a wife, so they say, so it goes, but it didn’t complete me, it only deceived me

i thought the only point was to make points, settle them out and remove all doubt, but when it comes to the point, they didn’t complete me, they only deceived me

if you think you’ll find some puzzle pieces, you’re selling yourself short, because you’ve got all the pieces, because you’ll never be 'complete,' but you don’t have to be deceived

a spur, a trace a mark, an outline in the sand, a rhyme is arbitrary words, and form is emptiness

form is emptiness and emptiness is form

so they say, so it goes, they didn’t complete me, they only deceived me, i still can’t find my better half

my own better half is not a separate thing, it’s an unfulfillable desire. i’ll never be 'complete.'
924 · Feb 2011
All That Rise
This intervention has the feel of déjà vu the record’s spinning forever locked in its groove a way of life reduced to a form stylized routinized to a shallow and shiny norm from revolution to cliché

just superficial stimulation

but what’s different? appearances change but there’s no progress in this apocalypse

everything that rises must converge all the meaningful surprises grow from within and stretch the threads of molded costumes copied, sinned, and said

rags cover neglect and decay veil desire’s all-compelling force generations lived through their eyes dissatisfied with any compromise

the searing balm of burning screens faith in sense impression for ironic equivocation it’s (just) culture, neither right nor wrong a place to hide, from considering

from revolution, to cliché, we lose our way faith in sense impression, ironic simulation so responsible in their noble stimulation

coming down to unchanged reality everything that meets must diverge patchwork king of limited domain stitched and sewn and overblown
910 · Feb 2011
Friday Buries Thursday
Cry and you cry alone Smile and the world is with you The people part of home And the doors keep closing Lock you in or out Suffer the same The people part of home is The emptiest thing

Every Friday buries a Thursday Forget each one, keep your eyes away

Not so much what is said A skin holding a soul, a heart, a head Effort, sympathy breed dignity Only connect!

Sadness pulls apart The days and the hours And makes each sorry A sneering mockery If we could just take ourselves And fill the shoes of another And extend sympathy Beyond obligation

Every Friday buries a Thursday Forget each one, keep your eyes away Momentum deceives us, and lets us see Forward While keeping sideways to the periphery

Not so much what is said A word an act a thought or a deed An impenetrable cloud Concealing connection that we need A single soul Left behind or forgotten Is the death of us all An implicating 'sorry'

'I’m sorry' just doesn’t cut it 'I’m sorry' doesn’t fill the need 'I’m sorry' is for those who do something 'I’m sorry' doesn’t mean a thing

Every Friday buries a Thursday And I’m sorry you’ve wasted your day
907 · Feb 2011
Failure
The thing I think my friend to be at least can mean that much to me.

If you can't, or it seems you won't, your ghost will try, although you don't.
855 · Feb 2011
That's That, Matress Man
A desert empty, hard, and mute some implied and maligning agent mere dust, soft clay, of eroding tides unsettling account, no balance to come in the pall of mistakes past

who are you to ignore the obvious effects of your actions? and ask the world to bend to your ignorance of other ends more exists without than is known within or spoken invisible but no less real, though forgotten our wills have mass

an epidemic of inattention content with meaningless negligence on a curved path, tethered and constrained wrought between collisions and propelled to escape

but man himself is a force of nature which counters all others and conquers so as to undo itself in its wake, risk values all reward so-called providence designs all consequence

the game plays itself
so it goes, and so it went
so it goes, and so it will, at the end
so it goes, and so it will, so it went, at the end, as it always would

the measure of man isn’t that which he hazards no hope in abandoning to shaping molding chance this alien land holds scars of man’s conversion does it manifest our victory, our destiny, or our barbarity?
780 · Feb 2011
Truth In Delivery
Flirt with the truth through gentle irony avoid attachment and deflect in subtlety If I admit it, am I absolved? or acquitted of this middle brow, middle class, half caring, and half-assed, cowardly bravery

sharp witted and forked tongue, thick skinned, with mask on cutting to protect, to shelter and deflect this parade of cynicism is wearing thin

broken homes make broken bones, too late and so long just move along, why try to belong if community is (just) monotony? Are there worse things to be?

Where is fulfillment if this is my penitence? just stay what you are

to think and say, and just make do

these swords won’t help they only open wounds you can’t mend with irony the truth is in the delivery

just say it but don’t mean it just say it but don’t believe it just say it and hide in the irony
779 · Feb 2011
This Day
This day could be the worst of my life.
Green eyes and blue skies and this day is a start and an end.
This day could be the rest of my life.
This repetition discovered a why.
If this day could be the best of my life, would I change anything?

If I had a dime for every time that I’ve heard this song, I'd have nothing more than a reminder of why every day means as much as the first repetition signifies.

No regrets is a lie!

This day could be the worst of my life.
Green eyes and blue skies and this day is a start and an end.
This day could be the rest of my life.
This repetition discovered a why.
If this day could be the best of my life, would I change anything?

If I had a dime for every time that I’ve heard this song, I'd have nothing more than a reminder of why every day means as much as the first repetition signifies my life.

The endless day is over, and now there’s no need for choices and no regrets is a lie.

Now I can say the reason why I choose to live life.
745 · Feb 2011
What Is A Friend?
A moment of security and an assurance of hello

The unreasonable yes when the world says no, Any imagined heaven includes you

Fulfilled desire of one always true and the constant affirmation of value in your deepest you

Without want of being wanted and a loss at any lack, honesty combined with fantasy, no thought of holding back

The breakdown of all reason and a sympathetic truth, a heart filled with terror at the thought of a world without you, my mind is overflowing and my life is stepping down because a friend means showing the world is less without
726 · Feb 2011
Karesansui
from nothing we came and to nothing we will return ad nauseum

i become who i want to be

a stone moves no water and feels no wind, it displaces the air but it takes nothing away, leaves a small footprint, just a trace in the sand

look for the path and tread lightly there, feet make no marks, and lungs long to breathe no air, eyes focused on both the east and the west, all the fires that you’ve made, and all the bridges yet to burn

and if you think you have a right to ask the question is always the same we must tread lightly and if you think you have a right to take in trust just think of all the people that came before

form is emptiness and emptiness is form
Wherever I sit I die in exile From the life I never had The life of the body

Effects less than obvious And decidedly wrong Imaginary worlds breathe and stand And take a life of their own

A culture of I wish I was And an inner life to match My mind is set on the goal Though my feet stray from the path But I must retrain And find new shoes And walk away from this hell Of self-loathing doubt
becoming instead of just being and looking instead of just seeing, form is emptiness and emptiness is form, performance is a means and an end, an identity isn’t something to defend, for is emptiness and emptiness is form

the simplest answer is the question itself

i don’t need categories to think for me, to write my thoughts for me, to live my life for me

if i inherit my name, my bank, and my faith, isn’t that enough given to me? to think i understand reality or how things should be, opinions aren’t something to receive and neither is an identity
577 · Feb 2011
CSK
CSK
We measure our lives with coffee spoons and knives, rather than try to believe the easy lie. It's not over until it's over.

Our own regrets, we can't let others forget. The blood we shed, it's not our own.
569 · Feb 2011
Golden
And that’s something i wouldn’t say.
There’s nothing right with us today.
You can’t stay golden.
No, you can’t stay golden.

You can’t mean the same to me now as then.
You won’t be the same now as then.

Not the same!
You change!
Nothing stays the same..

In the way you shake your head you say there is no rain today.
If there is, then it’s needed.

And all the stars that shine will fade into the light of common day and lose what made them ours.
567 · Feb 2011
This Image
This image that I worship blends your real with my make believe.
I live in constant fear that the real I love will only leave.

I'll settle for the more and the less.
All you need is a reason, and I lose

The sound of your voice.
The touch of your hands.
The look in your eye when you say
"maybe"

I can’t trust you until you have a choice.

Please, can’t you save my life!?
Until the waiting is through.
Please, can’t you save my life!?
565 · Feb 2011
Choice
This is the last time that I wear these shoes.
They are worn thin from the weight of inward attention.
Gravity pushes down and in.
Eyes locked on feet.
I can't tell what is.

I feel my heart through my toes.

All I've seen is what I wanted to see.
Out of sight and out of mind, as a way of life.
And I'm out of my mind.

This fight is not a fight that I wanted to start.
Infinity in a point is still nothing at all.
Identity in the fall of a whale.
And a wonder at the world.

No matter how different I think I am or how changed I feel
The wreck is still all encompassing.
Without effort, there is no meaning.

To be light and float away
Growth comes from wider angles.
Gravity is a choice.
539 · Feb 2011
Oh Sir..
Oh Sir! Remember the way things used to be?
And Sir, it's over: the way i'd take what you say.

So Sir, just try to understand where I am.
No answer.
No reason.
No way to know or hope.

You look so long and you stop seeing.
That lies are just hopes!
That lies are just hopes!

— The End —