I really want to be as cool as you
But I only have one tattoo
well two.
They're black, I'm brown but my jeans are blue...

You like them where the sun shines
and some places it won't.
I've stopped giving you signs.
I know. Anxiety daunt.


Birds sing while my face is buried in books;
Your stumbling up and down stairs and tumbling in your mind.
There is a disagreement but I know how good looks.
Inclined to be entwined where one may find the truth of mankind.
At least I want to be in there

But I am terrible with conversation.
You can see something is wrong with me.
I speak nervously in dilation.
My words are better read than said which is I write poetry.

It would be worst than the first rejection
So I'll admire you from afar.
Just an unspoken affection
to prevent the collision of worlds bizarre.

P.s This was supposed to come with a cookie but I ate it... I'm really sorry about that.

Staring into a stream.
splashing
Side by side; it gets no better.

Eyes blur so pictures
walk across the page.
Side by side; it gets no better.

Roof is collapsing.
Floor is sinking .
Side by side; it gets no better.

It's a birthday.
It's an un-birthday.
Side by side; it gets no better.

Living together
while alone.
Side by side; it gets no better.

Underneath the sun.
Underneath the moon.
Side by side; it gets no better.

Many happy returns to your days.
Many happy returns to your nights
Side by side; they will get better.

Hunny in a hole, don't look down
Excitedly,pretending your understanding.
Forgotten in a daydream like I can't tell
Further into the ***, there might be cheese at the bottom
Accosted by dreams and fantasies
Lead them home with a whistle and a song
Uh oh, you ate it and threw it in the pit.
Must. Get. Out. Of. This. Jar.
Particular love for a bear and pig

Today is my birthday
I turned 22.
I will not be partying
I have things to do
Cold stone at 2
Class from 6-9

It may seem like a poor way to celebrate
Such a wonderful day
However happiness is in the moments remembered
So alcohol isn't in my plans today

Erik
Eruch
uh
How do you spell it?
Stephanie on the stereo
with Sophia ******
stains on the sheets
I still don't know your name is
what?

Erik
Eruch
uh
How do you spell it?
K dot
G dot
com
But there are cookies
on the paper.
Wipe up the crumbs
I thought cookies were coming
Well check you receipts.

Got a lawyer?
Got a broker?

Erik
Eruch
uh
How do you spell it?
Timothy
or timmy
No, not tommy
I'm Tim.
Sacrificing monsters, I started
as him. It. Clown. Bonkers.
Check the roster I'm no mobster. Lawless.
Flawless i'm not.
Scars on this and that
knee.
Broken shoulder I'm holding in my ***. you.
S. S. Mathematical  difference.
Its a distance but I will be there

Its my daughter's first birthday. I  haven't seen her yet.

Across the street.
Opposite direction;
Conceit paved with concrete.
Flashback perception.
Across the street.

Anxiety and nicotine
Piercings and red hair
Cigarette guillotine.
One dred behind your ear.
Anxiety and nicotine

Strawberry blonde
Curly or locked?
Wizard's wand spawned
levitation Air blocked.
Strawberry blonde.

We started too quickly.
Both torn from our last companion.
So we rushed in, sickly
And lept from the grand canyon
No landing zone. No bungee
Only resistance was my banyan.

As we descended into certain doom
a single thought occurred; I don't like you.
I'm pushing you away so I may land in my own tomb
And when comes the cleaning crew
My mess won't mix with your gloom.
Such a reliving thought to be separated with hew



A most despicable thought is being for better or worse with you

Sincerely,
Timothy Brown.

P.S If you don't understand, I'm breaking up with you.

Concise
Device
Advice
Entice
A peculiar devise concise in
function. Often advice entice woe.

I came to this place on two broken
Knees.
Six words said: Can I have a drink
Please.
They are not that expen-
seive
I believe I can deny my carnal
Needs
I know even wizards can
Bleed
Profusely some Gods speak languages
Falsely.
And certain people speak but stare
Blankly.
Layman's terms: the majority is
Lying

Wandering through mornings
Cloaked in night
Silence resounding
 Pausing for a red light



                                                        ­          Camels running through a desert  lung
                                                    ­                          Iced tea becomes an oasis
                                                        May­be smoke, Maybe air, a need-to-know basis
                                                           ­          Harder to tell as filter meets tongue


Cloaked in night
 Silence resounding
 Wandering through mornings
Pausing for a red light


                                                         ­                                                                 ­                       Thought to think
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                               of opinions
                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                    in spite of
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                            reflections.
                                                                ­                                                                 ­        Notions and concepts
                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                 birth ideas;
                                                                ­                                                               grandchildren of the mind.




Silence resounding
Wandering through mornings
Pausing for a red light
 Cloaked in night
                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­          

                                                     ­                      Purpose lost within frosty
                                                                ­          air through a thin white T.
                                                              ­          Crashing thoughts parallel E-
                                                              ­                 Y-E lids amid empty
                                                                ­                  lots and streets.

                                                               ­               
Pausing for a red light
Silence resounding
Wandering through mornings
Cloaked in night

I am too afraid of feeling to talk to you

I go far out of my way to avoid people.

The only way I'm capable of crying is through laughter

I constantly shake even when I try to hold still.

I push people away because I have terrible abandonment issues

I honestly do not believe I'll live to be 30

I know and understand a lot more than I show.

I talk to inanimate objects more than to than real people

Truthfully, I really want someone to be honest with me

I will admit that I still love you very much.

slam!*

step  step  step

click! Buzz  

pshhh Nonsense...


drip


drip


drip  

Shower...

sigh

foom

inhale

exhale

inhale

*exhale

Arizona Ice tea
Pixie sticks
Chocolate and nougat.
You always had something to sell me.

Bumped up a quarter from the price at the store
You were alone while others traveled in pairs.
I could hear you running up the stairs.
Somehow your soccer ball would always hit my door.

Seven is supposed to be a lucky number
Ebay, what you got for me today?
I would say.
50 cents for candy lumber!

Maybe if I played with you that day.
You could be sitting here typing.
No tears on your face for wiping.
Could be that bullet never went astray.

How can people be so evil?
why?
A seven year old shouldn't know how to die.
I shouldn't be experiencing this emotional upheaval

Fifteen minutes entwine conversation during dawn.
Sun makes mist noticeable.
As well as the dew.
Bubbles in glasses
mirror silence
with stillness

Write half-right about quarters twice;
worth 50 cents.
Half-right, write about quarters twice;
worth $1.

Half-hour
past fifteen. Sixteen
words written at a 45 degree
angle across seventeen sheets of paper.
45 minutes past the last
90 degree angle.

The Jedi is dead
Now we're off to bed.
She's not mad about missing our date
Just the fact my shoulder still creaks
like a rusty gate.
I pour my thoughts into her,
as if they are rain
and she is a grate.
In the middle of the street
I sink
into her embrace
The whiskey isn't as bad as the cigarette taste
or
The cigarette isn't as bad as the whiskey taste
As we press our bodies together,
I shiver and shake
She responds
Turn the light off.
*So both of us can be black in this place.

The seams are torn. You can't remove the scar, Doctor.

I will never tell you; I have fallen for you.

I am experiencing a problem with my poetry
I do not know what my next step will be
Wobbly

Stumbling

over syllables and web pages
I am shaking and vibrating
Spot light is blinding
on life's stages
I keep forgetting my lines
So I speak of shoe laces
in leveled metaphors
and the look of their flesh cases was ageless
Yet, I can't stand their faces

Not on this or that knee

It is anxiety
I thought it was mild but its becoming severely
annoying. Faults and fractures
flake my stature
like bark from a tree

Just start running

Evading
Something I do not want to face
Slave trading, soul maiming
while their raiding
I am hidden in the shading
of planets in space
We're all black in this place
No superiority nor disgrace
Just aiding
the next broken person
so they can have a chance in the race.

I would talk to you, but I have nothing new to say
We spend the hours of our day
together

In spare time we joke and play
Chat about yellow, blue and grey
weather

I meditate while you pray
Our minds connected so they can't stray
tether.

Even though it sounds cliche
Your smile makes me float away
feather

She always knows
She always knows what to do
I'm glad she's just a friend
and doesn't know the crew

I never tell her my story
She reads every page herself
She never touches the exhibits
the essences of me
elegantly
arranged upon the shelves

She always knows
She always knows what to do
I'm glad shes just a friend
and never knew the crew

She paces in silence
Slight smirk under her eyes
As she wanders around my gallery
galaxies
analogies of abnormal realities
Seen from within the guise

She always knows
She always knows what to do
I'm glad she's just a friend
And will never know the crew

Every so often she pauses
Her footsteps resound
The curator looks up interested
and solicited
a reaction uninhibited
From a mind profound

She always knows
She always knows what to do
I'm glad she's just a friend
And doesn't want to know the crew

Her analysis is always unique
And as if she was the artist
The curator thinks, in retrospect
she is correct.
As she walks out the exit
Her path is marked by a trail of stardust.

She always knows
She always knows what to do
I'm glad she's just a friend
And is unknown to the crew

I am envious.

Jealous
of the way you speak
I can't do anything as beautifully
as the way you say I
or anything between A & Z
in any combination
found in any dictionary


Noticing the way you breathe
Takes away my breath
When I see the rising in your chest
and that slight smile you make
before the exhale
makes me quail
and my heart flail
like its on fire
Thoughts stop, drop

And the way you roll
those R's makes me perspire
And time transpires in slow motion
when you say L and all I can say
Mm, Its going to be a lovely day
I won't need the jack & coke potion
when I retire
If you can pop the P in pole

I am jealous
of the way you speak

They met in a bottle neck
mingling with Excitement and Regret

Listen to this song again

Beginnings are uncanny ends

That moment

One occurrence

Seconds split between friends

What time is it?

Last laugh

Bell's ring

stumbles past

Ice cubes and cold air

Gasp

One more round, please

Gulp

I'm a bit nervous about doing this

Rather a bit anxious

between the stool and the poker chips

I've spent too much on this

What's your name ***?

We can tryst if you share your name

I can show you I'm not to blame

for the sadness and dim lights

and the shame

The tab is mine to claim

*You reek of whiskey and smoke

Lori,
Logan,
Jodi,
Jojo,
Hilda,
Weeping Willow
and **two Tims!

I have found you
  Have found you outside
            Found you outside even
                        You outside even though
                                Outside even though cold
                                              Even though cold is
                                                       Though cold is abound
                                                          ­           Cold is abound yet
                                                             ­                  Is abound yet I
                                                               ­                   Abound yet I have
                                                            ­                                     Yet I have found
                                                           ­                                             I have found you

I tore it down
All of it
Everything that resembled Mr. Brown

His clothes are in trash bags
The decor in pieces
Desecrated all of his flags

"Mr. Brown, don't ever show your face around,
or I'll put you in a coffin." I said
He looked confused as I pronounced Bob Marley lyrics in a way profound

" I do not blame you, but myself,
for the day you came in
I put my soul on a shelf"

"You are contorted and misconstrued
there is nothing but darkness
in the life around you"

He seethed with fury.
The kind I had when I was a child
He spoke shortly, yet with a dramatic flurry.

" You may send me away," he spat
I tried to contain my fear
"But you know as well as I do, I'll return and it won't be for a chat"

A sudden calm washed over me.
And I said with a devious smile
"Last time I let you. The next time I won't let be"

His coal black eyes perfectly matched his mouth; agape
as he stood stunned. A painting of disbelief.
I escorted him to the exit and sealed it with duct tape

*because duct tape fixes everything

The purpose of purpose has no purpose.
You must however have purpose
or at least A.
Even if your purpose is finding purpose

I use to be so full of life.
I wore vibrant colors
Tye-dyed
purples
greens
oranges
reds
blues
I wore a head full of dreadlocks
and inspiring thoughts
but
                      something
                    ­                                  went
                          ­                                                   wrong

I use to have this box
full of everything I regarded as sacred
I took it with me everywhere I went








I                                   the                                away.....
                ­put                                box
























­
















far away








up in the attic
hidden beneath
other boxes
covered with the dust
of several years,                                                          ­It hasn't even been one


As I searched through the attic
in search of something unrelated
I stubbed my toe on the box
I realized
I forgot                                                           ­     
the box was even there

and it all came back
a flood     with
a typhoon     accompanied by
a hurricane
Smashed against a hollow city

Overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of  it all

I












Just













cried















and
















cried




­
My hair is cut now.
I must remain within regulation
The colors have dulled
into charcoal grey
the same color my ashtray is stained with
the same color my shoes are
the same color my sweaters are
the same color of this website


THE SAME DULL COLOR

My socks match
white
black
green
grey               <<<<<< There it is again....

everything is 01010010011010010110010001101001011000110111010101101100011011110­1110101011100110000110100001010

yes that is 1 word.

heart = 0110100001100101011000010111001001110100
mind = 01101101011010010110111001100100


I use to live my life through the process of making memories
something that can not be measured
converted
defined
even though I did all three of those to it

That is why she left
and she left                           I started chuckling to myself
and she left

I
Me
the 9th letter of the English alphabet according to the rest of the world
changed
and I wasn't even aware of it
until it was over

I don't even recognize my laugh anymore...
or my dreams...

But I have my box

Its starts off with a bitter shock
an almost emetic feeling envelops
Try not to loose your cool..
Force the feeling back and down
It gets easier with practice.
In the middle is
elation
euphoria
empathy
another word that starts with E
At the end is a sinking feeling
Magnified on the wooden table
Sweet Memory left with Bad Taste
*They should get married some day

I drink to remember the times I forgot, while drunk.

Let us get drunk and watch Winnie the Pooh together.

Consumed by perfection

Corrected actions

Fractions of receipts

Scratch sheet of nature

Denature the function

Compunction removed

Improved endeavor

Never seen

Seams over obvious

Genius hidden

Ribbon tied

Dyed cheetah print

Tick
Measuring the angles
hands shaped triangles
acute attention paid
obtuse thoughts laid
when the clock is isosceles
I can leave

Tock

Its only been a second
apathy beckons
anxiety comes in second
JUST BEGIN THE LESSON!
YOU! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!

Tick

Mood unchanging
Motion stationary
Minutes deteriorating
Minus thirty
Master wary

Tock

A text filled with monstrocities
Baffling
Babbling
Bleeding
The Horror in the Museum
Reeling
Writhing
Reducing
Poor Stephen...

Curiosity ate the cat