Some claim flavorless
A dish that is best served cold
Welcome, Mariners Revenge

In my head I feel pain that remains consistent
Taking hold of my emotions slowely constricting
Lack of movement as the ground below begins to soften
Quick before this sand becomes a problem
thoughts that I'm lost in
Times I've forgotten
Not often but
becoming more common
I'm worried that time won't stop when
I really need it
Lately I'm feeling defeated
Energy depleted
Legs forgot what it means to be defeated
As I keep on moving forward
Even when if gets worse
I'll never truly be able to rest
A gift and a curse
Truth is the matter is
I'm running on dead batteries
Haven't had time to replace em
Like my dreams soon my son gonna ask me to chase him
Eraser to all the mistakes I could make worse
No I won't let let him down
Floating in these waves that crash in hopes I drown

My run at the planet
Hasn't gone the way that I planned it
But the seeds I've been planting
Did I reap too soon?
Tarnished a beautiful butterfly
Preemptive from my cocoon
In my womb and in my heart of hearts
I know the endings but can never find the start
Just looking for a place to play my part
Still indulging in the art
Yet this feeling picked apart all of my energy
Creativity at an all time low
Still pretending to be a rapper  despite all my efforts
I'm stuck at the start of a zero net worth
Lost connection in a world of Networks
A little more than severed
Here I am lost on another endeavor

How am I supposed to know
That you needed room to grow
I wish we could have talked about it
Before the day you decided to go ghost
Everything I touch feels so cold
With all of my friendships on froze
The mistakes were mine to make
It was you over them i regret what I chose
Not even around you left this hole
Fighting more demons to gain control
Creatures of habit love roles that are tragic
My life is a movie you made it a classic

Eyes, windows to the depths of the soul,
I'm captivated by her gaze, uncontrolled,
A heart dyed blue, an oceanic maze,
Delving into emotions in watery ways.

Navigating currents of her shifting tide,
Decoding the ripples, feelings implied,
Her smile, a knowing grin, mysterious guise,
Diminishing thoughts, making them minimize.

Her voice, a melody that beckons to call,
Endearing names like baby, boo, and all,
It's strange how deeply I'm drawn to this girl,
Her name, unspoken, a secret to unfurl.

She holds secrets within her soulful eyes,
Intriguing and enigmatic, a captivating guise,
Lost in the depths, a longing to explore,
This girl, a enigma, forever I adore.

Once upon a time, in a world of aspirations,
Lived a garden of dreams, in need of cultivation.
But alas, the flowers there were in a sorry state,
Languishing in darkness, their growth left to fate.

Unwatered and neglected, their petals began to wilt,
Yet no one seemed to notice, their plight remained unbuilt.
The dreams that could bring solace were cast aside,
In shadows they withered, dreams denied.

But one day, a glimmer of hope broke through the gloom,
A flicker of light dispelling the impending doom.
A voice whispered softly, "Turn your escape into an escapade,
Embrace the rain delay, let not your progress fade."

For dreams, like flowers, require time and care,
A process unfolding, step by step, with flair.
The future remains uncertain, like an unwritten tome,
But even in the toughest concrete, flowers find a home.

So when life's heat intensifies, like a sizzling soufflé,
Let ambition guide you, transforming your world's array.
Embrace the journey, let your dreams bloom and sway,
For ambition turns your world into a magnificent bouquet.

Memories misplaced, relentless they emerge,
Like overgrown weeds, a pain they surge.
Within my heart, a bleeding hole resides,
The remedy lost, nowhere to confide.

Once whole, now burdened by this deep abyss,
Gripping my soul with an ache that persists.
Yearning for restoration, art as my guide,
Time, it's your moment, let healing coincide.

For time, they say, mends wounds so profound,
Not merely masking, but true healing renowned.
So, let the hands of time weave their gentle art,
Stitching together the fragments of my wounded heart.

With each passing moment, with patience and care,
Grant me the solace of a heart repaired.
Time, show your power, let healing commence,
Revive my spirit, restore my lost sense.

For in your embrace lies the balm to soothe,
The remedy sought, the salve to improve.
Heal these wounds, as only you can impart,
Time, fulfill your purpose, mend this broken heart.

Don't tell me that you love me
I don't like that ****
So I bite my lip
And I hold my tongue
For the things you said
Made me feel so dumb
And My heart so cold
Never been so numb
What did i do to you?
What are you running from?

When nobody seems to make time for me
I look for another hit of dopamine
Now the only time I feel I'm free
Is in my thoughts steady spiraling

I can't remember the last time I forced a smile
I can't remember the last time I ran a mile
My shoes still looking pretty new
No ambition to do what I used to
Many ships have sailed that I should have left on
You don't know what you've got till IT'S gone

You'll always have a hold on me
A cold ghoslty grip
I've learned to bundle up to protect myself

These scars will never go away, I don't want them to
My tests of time and time again
How can I forget how strong I am

Learned from mistakes, sure I still make them
Just hard to believe its still hurts

I feel all variations of me making
The same mistakes in every
Alternative universe

Thats just how we cope
It makes us feel better
For still believing in hope

So yes sometimes we wish things could be different
They will we keep saying one day
After I finish getting all our mistakes out of the way

Baby take a ride in my spaceship
Said you need more space but this aint it?

We got all the time but it's tainted
Baby Please dont lie i can take it

Paint my face a clown while its raining
Tears that fall its the same ****

Just when I couldn't take any more pain
Memories surface happiness to  blame
Its gonna take space to forget your name

What good are misplaced memories
When they keep popping up
like overgrown weeds
In my hearts a hole that bleeds
Seems I've misplaced the remedy

Wondering how I was whole
Before this hole
Took hold
Of my aching soul

I need this art to mend my heart
Time, it's time to play your part
If you heal all wounds
By all means start

Feeling like my phone, I'm constantly wired
My battery 99 percent and won't go higher

Brightness always turned up to max
using all my energy to see where I'm at

Airplane mode helps me coast
My friends consider that a "ghost"

never get a chance to snap pics
battery burning down like wicks

missing texts what could be next?
Ignoring alarms I've set



Sleep modes the only time I nap
Middle of the night
wake me up
via tap

Why do I feel my efforts lack adequacy?
As time unfolds, my vision fades progressively.
ADHD complicates decisions, a challenging mission,
Thoughts compete, a mental juxtaposition.
Desired shots, no ammo, a mind's lonely condition,
Trapped within, feeling like a personal prison.
Daily, I slaughter my soul in monotonous repetition,
A ghost of my aspirations, lost in the exhibition.
A painted smile on a shell of what I sought,
Running on empty, no gas stations in thought.

I'm a child of a love that remained unwoven
Every version of me never realized just how broken
You can get just trying to do the right thing
For your child it ain't sweet but that's the icing
Sacrificing everything down to your last breath
Making sure I'm taken care of even if you don't know what could happen next
Give me all your love I'm selfish when it comes to happiness
As long as I've been alive I feel like I hardly know you
Or the things you've truly done
To allow your son to see another one
A day where I can play pretend nothing is wrong as long as I'm looked after
Growing up I swear I've been craving laughter
In the absence of it from your happy never after
Little did I know I was helping decipher our next chapters
Not from the rafters, but front and center
Robbed  your attempts to find the love of your life
Thinking it was me because it's all I've ever known
Fighting for your life to finally find the home
You feel where you belong and I've seen you belong
Decisions I've made you chose me to lean on
The gravity of the situation was beyond
Anything I could comprehend like we could be gone
From the place I've always known as home
Feel so selfish I made the decision for us to be all alone
And you took me there without hesitation
I often wonder if the destination
I picked for us was the reason for our demonstration
Why we go out of our way to make others happy
I still think about it to this day
When youre older you realize the power of what you say