unraveling unintentionally,

loosely,

the ghosts that live inside of me are pulling at my hair constantly.

unraveling,

trying to get myself together.

unintentionally,

in a frenzy,

peeling the skin from my fingers until they bleed.

with your hands around my throat.

I thought I began my journey anew; not very healthy but with clean hands.

It’s times like those that used to make me feel reborn. So I thought I was smarter, stronger, more capable of standing on my own two calloused feet but how can I possibly be anew when I’m stuck in my nightmares?

Only responding to the things haunting me.

Foolish.

I have never not believed in anything more than right now.

Now absolutely disgusted by the thought of an epiphany because my hands are still ***** and when the sun hits my sensitive eyes how dare you blame me for looking back. Never reaching my destination because of that.

is it wrong of me to hope that you can still smell me on your sheets?

i pray that the parts of me you set on fire and melted would sink into your mattress

stain your carpet

permanently fog your window.

i hope my smoke is trapped in your lungs and i never want you to stop hearing that fire alarm you caused because i feel like a dead soul after the damage that’s been done

the damage that has a name and the name is you.

so burn

i’ll throw your ashes in the lake we swam in and watch you drown.

and never feel sorry.