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Nov 2021 · 81
love unearthed I
Tiger Striped Nov 2021
and blood is shrieking in my cheeks
a concert of passion, ushering tears
the sudden pressure suffocates every
word trapped in my throat
and I desperately want to scream
at you
in hot pent-up pain
that if I didn't love you
with every ounce of myself,
I wouldn't care -
I wouldn't get angry
or speak before thinking
or cry into your shirtsleeves -
but I do care
enough that I can't hide
the mess you make of me.
Sep 2021 · 110
Fingers Crossed
Tiger Striped Sep 2021
Hope runs down your skin in waterfalls
begging for my hands
puddling on the floor and flooding
the air like light.
The first time it touched me,
it shocked me at
the small of my back,
tingling and spreading to my
mouth. It was the
electric taste of
Eden’s apple, the choice
that rewrote the future.
It knocked wind from our lungs
a half-breathed epiphany,
the blessed assurance of symmetry:
darling, everything exquisite comes in pairs.
You are everything I
spent years on my knees for,
praying with my fingers crossed.
Aug 2021 · 130
Autumn
Tiger Striped Aug 2021
Autumn is an expired favorite
of the sad lovers, sitting apart
with forearms stuck between
forehead and tabletop.
Tired souls shake off old skin
with the shifting of the seasons
and some call it a fresh start, but
it only ever feels like wasting away.
The desperate optimists grasp for beauty in
changing colors, but every leaf falls with a tear,
each
a dreary reminder
of all the once-lovely emblems
that decorated the golden days.
"Once upon a time" no longer evokes
the sweet nostalgia of fairy tales,
but carries the melancholy weight of
better days fading from
memory to myth.
Jul 2021 · 93
Saturday morning (II)
Tiger Striped Jul 2021
Saturday morning
is an unseen sunrise
usurping my sleep; pain splayed
just behind my temple.
It’s
the dreaded goodbye
whispered by weekdays
filtering through the fabric of my shirt collar
like teardrops
and landing along with my gaze
on your nicest shoes.
As my eyes rise, my mind’s eye
is frantically memorizing all your lovely edges
duct-taping images of you to
every surface of my memory.
Saturday morning
hides in purple shadows circling my kneecaps
and hints at the giant, painful subtlety
of the unknown, sewn between my future and
yours.
Saturday morning
is clung like grass and dew,
early me and you
so spitefully aware
of every ticking second tacked on
to our ages.
And in the end,
Saturday morning
dies bittersweet on the tips
of our tongues; a
wordless assurance of
Sunday.
Jul 2021 · 78
Outlived
Tiger Striped Jul 2021
When I was fourteen, I had
two feet of spectacularly boring *****
blond hair until
I cut off a foot and a half.
I used to reach for it
absentmindedly in the shower or
brushing my hair and
I cried today thinking
one day it will be your hand that I
reflexively reach for, only to
squeeze empty space.
Jul 2021 · 133
On Love Stories
Tiger Striped Jul 2021
One time, he asked me if I thought I was the protagonist of my life’s story. I hardly had to hesitate before responding that yes, doesn’t everyone? He shook his head and told me no; in his arc he saw himself as some kind of auxiliary to the main character. After he said that the conversation moved on but I was chewing on that for a while. I turned it over and over in my mouth, wondering why he saw himself that way. I wouldn’t if I were him, obviously. But as I digested that thought, I realized that before I loved him, I was so concerned with finding and understanding myself that of course it felt like the world revolved around me. And then his humble soul brushed up against mine, and it was a big, beautiful breath of fresh air. Each of his qualities suddenly became so much more important than my boring selfishness. That’s what love is, isn’t it, though? It’s the spotlight shifting away from my exhausting self-preoccupation; it’s prioritizing someone else and learning that is so much more fulfilling. And unintentionally, through his quiet humility, he showed me that maybe fate designed him to ultimately be the protagonist of my story.
Jun 2021 · 82
Truth
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
doesn't hurt, not
always. Sometimes
it heals the cracks in your
ribs and eases you gently into sleep
for the first time in weeks.
Truth
is curious and ugly and forever half-hidden,
cowering uncomfortably behind
partial lies, obscured like
the sun rising behind the mountains.
It's seemingly more beautiful
when cloaked,
if only you don't look it in the eye
and let the darkness help to scatter
all its fuchsias and violets across the horizon.
Jun 2021 · 158
all things not considered
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
nobody dreams of chipped teeth or
love handles, but the reality is
we fall in love with them all the same
Jun 2021 · 94
Sunset on the beach
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
is windy, almost cold
littered with people,
watchers, walkers, guests in the house
of ocean.
“Don’t step on the sandcastle,”
a mother warns, as if
it will stand through the night, as if
the tide should listen to her.
“Look at all these shells, girls,”
a father smiles, as if
they did not tread on
the bones of those exiled
from their silent ecosystem.
The people stop and stare
at the waves, as if
they will change, as if
they will stop, as if
the sea is not staring back.
And at the edge, I
sit shivering, in awe
almost afraid to peer beneath
the rippled glass.
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
This is the tightrope we
are so privileged
to dance on, my dear
as we tarry on the line
between danger and grace.
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
The trick is not
unconditional positivity, only
learning how to tell yourself the
truth.
Jun 2021 · 102
I want to be the woman
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
waiting at the crosswalk
next to a man, but with
an air of being alone.
She stands proudly in her
body, her feet planted
stoically on the sidewalk
her lips are slightly parted
to blow a single silver ringlet
out of her face.
I wish I were her,
for even an instant,
instead of a car passenger
stuck staring out the window
at strangers she's known for
a lifetime.
Jun 2021 · 351
My feet are tired today
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
and I don’t know why.
I woke up with pins and
needles, and they’ve been aching since.
I’ve barely walked, at least
not more than normal
but they feel as if they might
crack and bleed.
They hurt more knowing
all the things you had planned for us -
skipping and jumping and dancing
and laughing
and though I’ve cried to them
they just won’t let me go.
All I can do is
apologize to you and your
runner friends
for everything I can’t
bring myself to do.
Jun 2021 · 139
outside in
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
I never told you how
your room looks just like you.
I can't help but notice its
soft edges and
angles,
and the way the mountains swell
determinedly outside the window
across from your bed.
When it's quiet enough, I can hear
your heart beating like music
from your chest of drawers.
The mismatched knick-knacks atop
your tenderhearted wooden nightstands
and I
watch you as you read, and we
try not to smile
as the lighting obliges
to make you
the central, most beautiful feature.
Jun 2021 · 545
bad manners
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
i-squished-words-like-chewing-gum-between-my-teeth-hoping-that-i could-blow-a-bubble-bigger-than-my-head-and-more-impressive-than-­my-face-and-then-you-looked-in-my-direction-just-as-my-breath-his­sed-between-my-lips-and-you-couldn't-see-me-just-my-swelling-beac­h-ball-of-jumbled-words-for-one-quarter-second-before-they-burst-­and-stuck-all-over-my-skin-and-i-flushed-pinker-than-bubble-gum-a­nd-i'll-choke-on-every-word-before-i-ever-have-to-see-you-again
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
Where do you go
when your gaze is fixed
on the junction of the crown molding
in the corner of your bedroom?
I watch your eyes, glazed with
labyrinthine pessimism
darting back and forth, navigating
a universe tucked away in a cupboard,
as you try to conquer the monsters in your
never-ending mental maze.
I used to think you were
admiring the stars,
but now I
turn to them
and beg them to let me follow you
and bring you safe back
home.
Jun 2021 · 116
a poem we can all despise
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
Everything we once thought unique
settles guilt-riddled into
misshapen paw prints on the dusty
floor.
It shakes with the sound
of the television set,
blowing blithe static,
glowing black and
blooming into the everlasting
forgotten space between hello and good
bye.
It leaves me dehydrated, coughing, spurting
riotous air from the ugly gaps in my
teeth, barely
audible over the roar of nothing. It's goaded
by accidental location permissions, loaded
with deafening illusions of privacy
which hold fast to the hands
of individuality.
They tighten around my neck
and press against my stomach
and demand to be
always remembered, never noticed
like oxygen and
extinction.
So we will do nothing but obey;
rebellion is a luxury we
are too proud to know.
Jun 2021 · 206
I’d be a fool
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
to think you were perfect, but
you’re as close as it gets.
Jun 2021 · 127
nonsensing
Tiger Striped Jun 2021
I won’t forget to
mention how I
hate your asymmetrical gait; it
offsets my lucent cynicism
and offers me seasoned lucidity
which I already told you I don’t want.
I’ll continue to make
my disjointed offhanded comments,
thank you,
much to the vexation
of my sharply shrinking social circles.
Advice has always been icing on
cake which I
scrape off with a knife and
use for shape-making on
the edge of my paper plate
as the other party goers
advise me not to play with my food, it’s
childish.
And rude.
And anyways, who doesn’t
like icing?
Tiger Striped May 2021
He walks barefoot on rose petals and
mint leaves
his silent footsteps leave no
footprints
I'm scraping gravel and
begging
to be the ground he walks on.
Patience flourishes between his
lips
and hurls me sprawling awestruck into
love
and tearful adoration
for all the beautiful cracks in his skin
that ****** sunlight and smatter
glittering rays in
prisms across the ceiling
and thread all the raging gaps in my heart.
Of course he is artwork,
blessed by reason and
the mercy of the human experience,
highlighted
by his generosity and the way
his kindness ushers the blood though
my veins.
If not for his beaming soul, I’m sure
my ship would sit shattered selfish
at the bottom of the
livid ocean. And
if, after all his noble graces,
I can offer him nothing else, I
will
at the very least
fix his mirrors.
May 2021 · 398
hard to read
Tiger Striped May 2021
I miss the way you
punctuate my sentences
put purpose in my windswept
words
complete me
make sense of my
heaps of jumbled gibberish
you
hold me when Im
running on
when youre
gone Im
stuck split in splices
and tacky fragments
May 2021 · 83
Resolution
Tiger Striped May 2021
I wrote a poem that perfectly
captures the essence of being
in love with you,
and I'll never put pen to paper again
for fear of dirtying
everything pure and holy
you bestowed on that page.
May 2021 · 102
the wind
Tiger Striped May 2021
I'm losing to the wind; he knows
I need his wayward rushing gusts
and I love the way he puts
my hair in my mouth and
air in my chest.
His spirit gently roars,
tangling my words and
bringing me to my knees.
He carefully envelops
past, present, and future; a
tornado deftly encircling
everything I've ever known.
There’s something ethereal
in the way
gravity shies from his gale
and how he artfully folds rhythm
into my breaths.
I wish I could love him with
even an inch of the miles he
spans, but
until I learn to fly I’ll
lower my windows and
fill my lungs.
May 2021 · 127
Drive slow
Tiger Striped May 2021
because the night burns heavy
like tears hugging
the back of my eyes,
and the seconds run electric
like air buzzing
in the space between your fingers.
Rosy I-love-yous
turn to quick to
thorny goodbyes
stuck scratching my throat
as my lips fight fate.
Give me breath again
show me we were never happy happenstance,
string my soul out into
baskets woven holy
for the sanctity of us.
Drive slow
buy me time to pray
that we are eternal beings,
unbound from time, able to see
beyond seven colors to someday.
But maybe
in the end it doesn’t
matter how slow you drive, because
even after you leave, I’m there
in your car
always, every moment
in memory.
May 2021 · 1.2k
“This is my heartache,”
Tiger Striped May 2021
I say,
hoping it’s too quiet for you to hear,
but you do
and with one hand,
you press your finger to my lips,
and with the other, you
give me everything I
do not have the words to
ask for.
May 2021 · 84
self-sabotage
Tiger Striped May 2021
I’ve got a habit of
splintering my mistakes
and strapping them to your bedroom ceiling
in self-pitiful stucco style,
where they glare at me
like waking nightmares and
strip me of the sainthood
with which you clothe me.
I fill our little boat
with my buckets of vice,
submerging us in overshared sob stories -
but somehow you are
breath, underwater, always
you are soap
washing my hands and
kissing my fingers
using yours to brush burning tears
from my cheeks.
Your forgiveness
glues my lips shut
as I desperately try to justify
my self-perception, leaving me with
no choice but to return
each precious favor.
May 2021 · 73
Letting Go
Tiger Striped May 2021
Your mind is the bed
of an Elysian river
of thought
and when acid rain came, you
built dams to punish yourself
by keeping that toxic water
from ever
flowing out
to sea.
I may not know how
to break through your walls, but I’ll
sit on these banks
shedding a tear for each
polluted drop of rain
until, perhaps, one day my
Hope will
run your
waters pure.
May 2021 · 220
In the Aquarium
Tiger Striped May 2021
I.
Pink light
cascades in ribbons from the tank
to land surreptitiously
across our faces. Its glow
hides the creeping blush
rising in my cheeks
as I notice, in the glass,
your rippling reflection
staring at me.
So I try not to smile,
holding our gazes clandestine for
a minute longer, just to let
the jellyfish think that
we’re admiring them.

II.
From one eye,
a turtle studies the warm-blooded couple,
a girl, fingers cold
and a boy, palms sweating.
Their image bends and
warps; their muffled laughter
joins the glugging rhythm
of the pseudo-ocean.
Holding its breath, it settles into
a front-row seat
for its favorite exhibit.

III.
You point out a pair
of angelfish gliding blithely,
two lovers floating freely.
We were fish once,
you tell me.
Yet here we stand,
I reply,
with our feet stuck to the ground,
only able to dream of
breathing underwater -
what kind of progress is that?
And you just smile,
silently tuck your arm
around my waist,
pull me closer
and wordlessly answer all of my
questions.
May 2021 · 112
autopilot
Tiger Striped May 2021
and I was supine
on the couch, with thoughts
flattening my chest, usurping
oxygen from my open mouth.
I watched a muscle
twitch in my leg,
the image bent through the lens of
an unbroken tear
and wondered if my body
was even my own.
Of all the things I
must accept
that I cannot control,
my body will always
be the most difficult.
May 2021 · 133
Melancholy
Tiger Striped May 2021
Melancholy coats cars like pollen,
smudging windows and mirrors,
making vision hazy
dripping from faucets like
incessant spacey teardrops.
It hangs just in front of your
eyes and
curtains their shining irises; it
sneaks through your lips in
whispered goodbyes.
When you leave, it
holds my cold hands
and plasters traces of you
to every square inch of my imagination.
At night, it counts
the ceiling tiles, then the floor
and listens in the morning
to my dreams from the night before.
Melancholy swells for miles between us, keeps
a seat empty next to me, and always
hopes for you.
May 2021 · 87
honey
Tiger Striped May 2021
Your gaze clings to me as if I were
the last line of your favorite novel or
the first star in the night sky.
Your voice has the cadence of prayer
as you unravel my past to make
a tapestry of my future.
It's all I can do to cry tears of honey,
and pour gratitude over
you like I could ever deserve
all the things you give me.
Apr 2021 · 122
Saturday morning (I)
Tiger Striped Apr 2021
languidly glows in your cheeks,
just north of
the lip you split trying
to tell me you loved me without
saying you loved me.
Saturday morning
breaks burgundy behind
your head, silhouetting
every piece of heathered forgiveness
we earned without merit.
It rises and splatters
in my chest like laughter and it
shines from your eyes to
the edge of your jaw.
Saturday morning
solidifies sunrise in memory,
with its hallowed rays streaming
haloed from your long lashes. It’s
interlaced with the scent
of you,
suddenly flooding my shuddering lungs.
Saturday morning
swirls early in whispers like dew
steaming
toward balmy April ether.
It supersedes time as it
unwinds the hands on the clock,
flexing post-Friday and
stretching pre-Sunday.
Saturday morning is everything
delicate and divine
that is ever-coursing from
my soul to yours:
I love each Saturday morning
because I first loved you.
Apr 2021 · 125
Alicante
Tiger Striped Apr 2021
The old woman at the bus stop
is a lover of all things:
I can see it in her tired smile
and the way her hands
are determined not to shake
as she colors in the squares of
today’s crossword puzzle.
Focused on her mosaic, she
does not hear
my dragging footsteps or
rasping breaths.
As I collapse next to her, everything is
quiet and I
hear her blood rushing
in her veins, singing a melody her
lips forgot.
I pretend I am her for
five sacred minutes,
finding mirrors in puddles
on the pavement and
battling time and gravity
trying not to sink through sidewalk into sewer
trying to spend eternity here.
But the bus comes like always,
its wheels
screaming silence into oblivion and
ripping loose newspaper pages
from their holy tranquility between
two leathery palms
and tearing the old woman and me
apart.
Apr 2021 · 264
angel
Tiger Striped Apr 2021
Come down from the heavens, honey;
Earth feels like hell when you're not here.
Apr 2021 · 97
Midday
Tiger Striped Apr 2021
Midday is almost dark; the
ashen sky holds its breath
rain buzzes between cloud and sun
leaves drift, blurred,
in slow frames through molasses space
to kiss the sidewalk with
thundering authority.
Between the daisies, lightning sprouts and splits,
spitting stripped splinters into heaven
then pausing, fingers frozen, posed –
a portrait of aloof elegance.
Midday is blinding, deafening,
nature's cinematic masterpiece:
terrifying, thrilling, and everything but numbing.
Mar 2021 · 108
patience
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
Dramatic irony flowed freely
from all the poems I wrote
about how I didn't write poems about you
and wedged itself in the spaces
between my heartbeats.
And there you slept sweetly
warming my aching ribs and
getting drunk on my tears every night I
awoke weeping
for the miles between us,
and all the purported reasons I shouldn't love
you.
Now poetic justice tumbles forward
from desire into delight
it’s plastered to my skin
and it feels just like you.
Mar 2021 · 117
voicemail
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
sorry i couldn't reach you i know you've been busy but i miss talking to you and i was wondering if you'd want to um well i don't know i don't have any ideas but if you thought of anything i'd love to know cause i haven't seen you in a while and maybe you're okay with that so if you don't want to it's fine it's not really a big deal i mean maybe it is but only if you think so and i know i'm rambling this message is already too long but if you get this call me back if you want but if you don't that's fine i just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you
Mar 2021 · 343
new life
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
His voice rolls steady across my
skin, mimicking
the hair that curls so shyly
at the base of his neck.
It flips my stomach
and screams sight into my eyes,
and it takes everything in me
not to cry like I've never seen in color
before.
He tells me he doesn't dance, except
I can see it in the way he moves, when he
laughs or smiles or says my name; I know he
does
so I promise myself I'll
dance with him someday.
And with his hands pressed to my heart,
he gently erases the
grey skies from my old
paintings, rewriting
the ends of all my poems
and brushes his signature
on every one I’ve yet to write.
He
softly shines on my tired garden,
turning it greener than his
eyes as he
breathes my next breath
into my lungs. And I slowly realize
for all the years I knew him and did not love him,
I was seeds, in soil, shadowed, and
to love him is to see the sun.
Mar 2021 · 122
speechless
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
In silence, my words are swelling
pressing against the sides of my skull,
dying to spill
from the corner of my mouth
or the ducts of my eyes.
But stuck to my palm
is your sideways glance,
rendering me listener
as you drink in my thoughts,
quelling my quiet anxieties
before I part my lips.
Of course, you’d never know this,
so I owe you an explanation
as to why
sometimes
I stare at my hands,
smiling,
and don’t speak.
Mar 2021 · 102
we met on the beach
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
You've never been to Spain,
but I could have sworn you were there
on the beach in July,
giving me sunburns with your golden gaze.
I was driftwood, tossed by panic, unaware
of your silent anchor sinking patient beneath.
I told myself everything but the truth,
and felt your your tears ebb and flow
with the tide, until I
finally agreed to swim.
Mar 2021 · 178
signs
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
I like how you breathe in your sleep
it's different than when you're awake -
I know you won't notice if I open one eye
to watch your chest rising and falling
and admire the shadows the street lamps cast on your face.
Mar 2021 · 129
Tuesday
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
Our divine mandate
fell suddenly, fire from heaven
on a Tuesday afternoon
landing on our tongues,
so hot that it felt
cold.
We refused to believe
our roles were scripted,
but defiance did not make us gods,
it only
proved us illiterate.
We mounted a roller coaster,
knowing in the end we'd
taste dust and blood.
Our calling has
always been progress,
never regret -
and we are nothing if not
debutantes.
Mar 2021 · 293
Funeral Vows
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
If life is
nothing, and love
is all, then
die with me:
I promise to
love you better
in death, with
an eternal soul,
than my mortal
heart ever could.
So do not
be afraid of
forever, my dear;
if love is
true (and you
have shown me
it is), then
you must realize
we were always
meant to die
the lovers' death.
Mar 2021 · 123
today
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
Happy makes its tracks
searing, one hundred and twelve degrees
shower streams to skin
and from the corners of
my eyes to my jaw.
It gathers in droplets atop the
jaded pink tiles
that droop along my bathroom walls.
It condenses in distance
between us and words,
and splashes from my cheeks
to kiss the floor.
It bounces off my bedroom wall,
echoing,
slurred like dying art -
it hits me, head on,
brings me to my knees and
burns the carpet below.
You make me so happy, darling:
I'd never lie about that.
Mar 2021 · 117
hope
Tiger Striped Mar 2021
I don’t yet know Love
but I know you
and that’s good enough.
Feb 2021 · 124
When We All Wrote Poems
Tiger Striped Feb 2021
Year eleven
English class, you’d sit in front of
me, unaware I could hear
your pencil, scribbling
throughts you scrapped
when we all wrote poems.
The back of your neck would
flush angry red
as you tried to cram rhymes
against their will, into
stunted couplets.
You hated free verse (well,
most poetry, at that).
“It should have rules,”
you’d argue with
the teacher, trying to
derive the lexical formula
through some slip of her tongue,
convinced she was
safeguarding the key
to composition, or at least to
the coveted A.
I sat behind you,
sadly, seeing unborn poems
slip between your fingers,
trickle down the legs of your desk
and settle with resignation in the wastebasket.
I said nothing;
I sighed, and penned
a poem you’d hate
about all the ones you threw away.
Feb 2021 · 95
water
Tiger Striped Feb 2021
The elixir of life
is the stuff of self:
we are spit and ocean
minuscule, innumerable, pellucid
drops dangling dangerously
from windowpane and eyelash
anticipating the inevitable;
the fall
dying to dry
when the sun shines scarlet.
We are nothing more than products of the sky
earthbound, plummeting, wishing
we were suspended in the clouds
gathered just beneath heaven,
hoping to float higher than destiny
someday.
Feb 2021 · 250
Falling in the Well
Tiger Striped Feb 2021
I prayed wordlessly
with glue on my lips,
a prayer that cracked the roof of my
mouth:
not that I would find love, just
that I could have you.
Feb 2021 · 111
overheard in the library
Tiger Striped Feb 2021
A couple falling in love, first date,
another falling out, last fight.
Two boys playing chess,
a girl hungry, won't eat,
a reader, a writer,
an ocean full of thoughts,
and the rare listener.
Feb 2021 · 150
smokescreen story
Tiger Striped Feb 2021
Eugene sits caddy corner
to the girl in the library.
He doodles in the margins of
library books,
and sips quiet rebellion.
Every so often, they make eye contact
for a split second,
and spill a hundred thoughts
across breathless space.
Eugene listens to her music,
loud enough in her little earbuds
to silence her thoughts.
He knows she's left-handed,
smells like coconut and sea salt,
and takes her coffee black,
but doesn't quite know her name.
Today she might be Jolie,
tomorrow Jasmine,
yesterday Genevieve.
They are just lonely enough
to never speak,
to starve on crumbs of
stolen glances and
shared songs.
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