Sometimes, I want to scream
Sometimes, I want to cry
Sometimes, I want to leave,
and never come back
Sometimes, I want to end it all
With that fatal bullet
When this happens, I think of
How they would love to see
Me break, to see me fall
I think of the pain I would
Cause those who love me
Most of all, I think
of the selfishness of the act
To stop this suffering
I obviously deserve.
Why do I think this way?
Because he used me
Abused me, made me hate myself
At least he's happy though.
That's all that matters, right?
That's what I tell myself,
to make it through the day. </3

Dew drops
Pearly in the morning sun
Scattered in a shimmering arc
As feet run
Shouts fill the air
Carefree laughter
An unspoken challenge
A scuffle, and then
More laughter
Oh to be a child again

Fearful, yet arrogant
Painful, yet strong
Saddened, yet determined
His brown eyes blink
Curious but guarded
Afraid to trust
Afraid to hope
Crunchy and warm
Reached for timidly
Snatched away in the blink of an eye
He turns and runs
Around the corner
A scene to melt the hearts of millions
The bread, not eaten, but offered
To a starving baby bird
Its broken wing not moving
His eyes widen as you approach
More bread offered
His brilliant smile, and you wave goodbye
As you turn
Six soft words, muttered shyly
“Thank you mister. You saved us."

An epic battle
A fight no one can avoid
One of life's hardest decisions
What to do?
Which side to pick?
Both will cause pain
Both will cause pleasure
So which way do you choose to walk?
In this battle of dominance
You decide the winner
Head, or heart.

This place,
Changed so much
In the last year.
The mind wanders,
Blocking out the noise,
Remembering a time,
When this place
Overflowed with life.
Flowers, animals, trees
All living in peace.
A place to relax
A place to escape
The stress of
Life, love, loss
Somewhere to go
Where dreams ruled
Imagination thrived.
Honking cars,
Shouting people,
Crying children
Jolt the mind back
Serving as a reminder of reality
Reality, where dreams
are shot down, laughed at, forgotten daily.
Reality, where people are judged
On appearance, ideas, differences
Reality, where drugs, alcohol and abuse are common
Reality, where paper thin is ****
Reality,  where money and status
Are more important that the starving men
And women on the streets.
Reality, where all this and more
Are accepted as daily life.
I think I could do without
The reminders of reality, don't you?

Love, the thing everyone tries to fin
Some think it’s the absolute best
But is it more then just a trick of the mind?
It puts people to the test
While some may be flying high,
Happy without a fear,
Others think it’s a pretty lie,
As their feelings show in one little tear.
Love, so clear in their eyes;
It’s funny how everyone thinks they can see
But what they really see is no more then a disguise.
Pain followed by pleasure
Hate followed by love
Some think it’s a buried treasure
And for some, it fits them like a glove.
For others, it’s nothing but a joke
Something felt by those who deserve it
Seeing happy couples makes them choke,
Or throw a painful fit.
For some people, it’s meant to be
A prize to be accepted
But for people like me
Its just a reminder of how often we’ve been rejected.

Bright, happy
I hear their laughter,
At the same time she does.
She leans against the counter
As we listen
To the chipper laughter
A sun, washing over us
Warming us from the outside in.
To cover that sun
With this bleak cloud,
To see their broken faces
Would break her heart
So even as she doubles over in pain
Even as a tear slips down her cheek
She shakes her head
“One more day…
What could it hurt?”
I know it changes nothing
But I will her
To change her mind
I beg her to make
The other decision
But its no use, she can’t hear me.
This feeling inside me,
It makes me want to cry
But I can’t cry
Not since I made my last,
most fateful decision in the kitchen.
“One more day…
What could it hurt?”