Ice blue-gray eyes，
that laugh, especially with
a semi-crooked smile.
A kind sort of smile, the semi-
crooked one, and a kind
sort of laughing.
Makes you feel like you’ve done
something pretty ****
great to deserve it.
(just pretend.)
And like you want to do it again,
so that maybe your eyes will laugh
with his.
Just maybe.
And if not, hopefully he likes you
anyways.
A millionth as much as you
like him.
Or a trillionth as much as
you sometimes, barely, dare
to wish.
(upon many a shooting
airplane, birthday candle, and
wish bracelet knot.)
Strong tennis-player muscles
of implied lines, not bulk.
At the same time, arms that
look comforting, make you long
to be held.
Doesn’t matter what catastrophe
strikes, bet it’s worth it.
Not from experience, but here’s to
hoping.
Accompanied by a mild yet male
scent. Unique with its inevitable,
accompanying trace of extra polar ice.
(be sure to buy some.)
Chewed in a surprisingly
acceptable way.
And a piece shared, with a kind
sort of smile,
always.
A laugh for real.
That always laughs with you, never
at you, at whatever is deemed
worthy, not just when others laugh,
even if it’s dorky, or lame,
or whatever.
Infused with honesty.
A personality to match that genuine
laugh.
The person you just want to talk to
because you just know
he’ll understand.
And if he thinks it’s stupid, it’s
ok, because
it probably is.
(definitely is.)
And why be unhappy when talking to
him?
Besides, he's not judging
anyways. Just
gets it. Maybe because you
have so much in common.
Though it's more than that.
More than those "commonalities."
Or whatever.
Assumes the best,
though that phrase is still
just not right.
(like all of them.
nothing's right.)
Though you think you're nothing,
he treats you like you're...
someone. Special.
(but maybe not quite someone special.)
Dont know how that
happened.
But it's nice.
Nice that he's always there.
(until when you expect it.)
Dependable and trustworthy.
Can't believe he's more stranger
than the best friend he feels like.
The best friend he
should be.
He's always there,
and now he's the one you always
want with you, more
than anything.
More than everything.
Who'd ever need anything else?
Who'd ever want everything else?
(maybe it's just me.)
That one in particular.
Who gives you that feeling you
thought only existed in romance
novels.
Who looks at you and something just
happens.
Who’s just different than everyone
else.
For who knows what reason.
But you just know.
Since forever.
As in love at first sight.
And all those other clichés which you
now know are apparently true.
Who, if they leave, take you away
with them, a part of yourself never
to be recovered. Once you give
yourself away, you don’t get any
back.
Leaving you in pieces, shambles, a
wreck , a disaster, broken,
confused, angry,
alone.
And all the songs make sense now.
About love and heartache. (both of
the above.)
Wish you’d receive the matching
piece of him, so that if you left, he’d
feel the songs too.
Who makes you feel like an idiot for
letting this happen. (because
obviously you are one.)
Who could never possibly like you
back, because no way
you deserve it.
The reason you’re up at two
AM on a Wednesday night/Thursday
morning, writing about
you know who. (as in not Voldemort.)
Who’s reduced you to an idiotic and
hopeless romantic, crying over lost
love and sappy movies.
The one everyone makes fun of.
Stupid pragmas.
(you think I chose this?)
Who’s also made you so much more,
so much better.
(to use yet another cliché.)
Who you can’t help but hoping,
wishing, dreaming for.
No matter what. Because it’s
all you know.
And all you can do.
(please come back.)
long poem...
i call this my rock bottom poem...
in my defense, i was probably around fourteen and a half when i wrote it...
just needed to get it out there though. so here it is.