heavy
it sets in heavy
in my bones and chest and conscience
and i think i've spent too many nights wishing and
i think it's not fair to anyone involved
(again
suicide coils around my heart
coaxing
never ever feel alone again)

I wish I never borrowed in another's arms and called that Home
Maybe then it wouldn't be so hard a task to sleep Alone

sometimes i want to be proven wrong
sometimes i'm selfish
sometimes i'm twisted
i know i don't deserve it
i know i don't deserve it

I close my eyes tight
Grimacing hold them shut
I bare my throat to you
And feel your disgust
I'm sorry that I'm not a person
I'm afraid I may have mislead you
That you mistake me for something I'm not
I'm not much of anything and I'm sorry
I don't have magic in my bones
I used to pretend I was made of starlight
And that the night was something I could own
But I'm secondary, you see
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Forgive me

the thought of you
forms ice crystals in my lungs
and it's hard to breathe again
i don't think i'll ever be okay

wherever the future takes you
let it take you warm and safe
and may the stars fill you with light
wherever you may lay
chase every opportunity
open every door
for this world is too big, my dear,
to not see so much more.
let your future fires lead you
and leave past things behind.
i will come to you, should you call me,
and if not, i will be fine
so long as you live brightly, dear,
like you deserve to do,
i will go where I will go,
cheering for and loving you.

what are you recovering from?
Your description says
"Learning to be okay again"
But what's so wrong, darling?
It's hard to imagine you sitting anywhere other than your throne
Mrs. Cancer Poem
Tell me again how I *"threatened suicide" by posting on my private blog about wanting to die
Cutting people off like you throw away toys
Little girl
Are you seeing the error in your ways?
Does it hurt to know you're not flawless?
Are you hurting from your mistakes?
She lacks a fundamental understanding of what mental illness is and feels like
Lavender princess lavished by adoring peers
Pouts in her a room for a while
But it's okay
Cuz she's learning to be okay again
After walking away with human wreckage in her wake
Crying that she's been shot when she's the one taking aim
Has the pretty heartless girl finally experienced pain?
Will she ever understand?
(Will she miss someday?)