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I drank cold coffee and wrote with a sticky pen; clearly headed nowhere good to-day.

They rolled their **** in mango-flavored papers.  

I stood small and center
in the dark room, hands clutching
mesh straps of a fuschia-pink littlegirl backpack.  

I stood

slightly slumped

to watch dim orange light outside the dorm window set fire to my shoes.
playing with line breaks...
I fell out of time
into wavery scarves of seconds
glittering of snowflake anticipation, and
minutes of quiet purring joy.
Tonguing thickening clouds of breathsteam
he has always been a familiar stranger;
every joint is a champagne cork, white
marble smile that bubbled

over wooden lips. Tell a story
in ten words or less, tap fingers pointed like guns
twice against her hot temple, smile
and half a tooth still ******. Tell a story with one
word, bang, and sock away the other nine.
Turn to a cat and say, I’ve got your tongue.
We sat together on our heels in the smoke
and snowfall, the plumed weapon of breath

melting. Cars slide into the lot, ice over easy.
The alcohol tasted like soap. It is not enough
for maybes and not-know-hows---grating
cheepcheap common sense, fail me now.

Maybe you didn’t write LOVE on her
battered wrist but LIVE instead,
maybe you stole all the magnetic a’s
off the fridge, you’re not the one
who highlighted instructions on a macaroni
box, so you broke all the chalk and wrote
the name of your childhood dog above the sink.

Maybe “hostile” is a fuzzed blue comforter
three months past laundry day, every lint
ball sharp as the word “cut”, the word “*****”,
the word “scream”. Maybe I’m naive, sentimental, but
I believe in a common kindness
like the common cold running thin
in threads of worn-out heart chambers.
she stomps her feet into the earth to fall backward
but the swing drags her back
snaps the thin neck harsh and warm
narrowed eyes into the wind
feet flexed to crack the wispy sky in white wafer pieces
they melt on my tongue.

remember when you made ******* sounds
and said what about the end of the world?
whispered soft and close:
would stars hurtle to burn the distorted landscape
consume the people left screaming clinging to this discarded crust
          we once believed was our whole world?
you were morbid but laughed; i frowned.

kick and kick and kick
defy gravity; chip away at this atmosphere
bring the astronauts and satellites home.
          (we’ll crumble together, you said.)
i wrote another neat bundle of words
knotted them with coarse string
caught my finger in the bow; snarled
packaged my hurt efficiently and quick
licked my lips but
          the guilt made them dry.

i saw your paper cuts
they were raw and red
my mouth had ripped into your skin.
i made you a gift, see?
it is not much
but i do not know how to bandage the wounds that will scar.
I rewrote a poem from a while ago. I really never go on here whoops.
Her mouth, hot and wet, breathes lies and ***** secrets.

Your mother warned you not to use those words.

Gutter language gushes innocently from the slight part in those glossy cherry lips and teases diamond reflections in the top ridges.  Talk is not cheap.

The dim light swings closer over your shoulder. Are those jewels in her lips, or was that thrill through your body the white panic of a police spotlight?

Pouting lips now slashing through words and trickling filth from the smeared corners are the only thing existing outside this honeyed haze. Your chest rises and falls in the shaky rhythm of those lips crashing against each other and bruising the air.

She will melt into the air and take her disturbing, wonderful raving with her as you are drafting and redrafting the words stuttering on your teeth to keep her here.

Slam your fist forward to those dancing, jerking lips and crack your hand on the mirror. Blood snuggles in the smashed glass lines, the same color. Insane, frothing, living scarlet. Her distorted mouth in the reddened glass crater. Her flared nostrils and thin purple bruise across the bridge. And your eyes. You stare into the mirror and her eyes narrow back. Your mouths stretch and scream in the same piercing wail. The police siren shrieks in commiseration as the strobe touches the mirror and blinds you both.
Stressed depressed repressed undressed obsessed nonsense.
I am unimpressed.

My rhyming and dark chuckling humor is atrocious, I'll admit.
But I'm so determined this will be the one thing I do not quit.
I wrote another neat bundle of words
Knotted them with coarse string
Smoothed the slick label over the bow
And licked my lips in guilt.

My heart has never thumped so hollowly in my chest.

Will you forgive me?

— The End —