oblivion.
what a beautiful word.
what a beautiful thought.
no life after life.
just emptiness.
no more thoughts,
no more conflict,
no more anxiety.
if there is a heaven,
i want no part of it.
no complications,
no stipulations.
no life after death.
just oblivion.
oblivion.

wake. eat. sleep.
wake. eat. sleep.
is this living?
is life in a cage still life?
is this happiness?
is settling still happiness?
if this is life, if this is happiness,
i don't want it.
i would rather without.
i would rather without this emptiness.
i would rather without.

constant, inconsistent.
eternity, momentary.
time is never steady.
it ebbs and it flows

this moment will never be the same.
this time will never mean the same.
as time goes on, the meaning changes
forever and completely.

yet, don’t try to stop the change.
it’s beautiful in it’s own way.
it’s life way of telling us that time has passed.
the moment is over but the memory remains.

the way you hold that sandwich,
the way you look at me,
a joy in your eyes,
the one that claws at me.

i don't want to love you,
there's no reason to, no logic,
but here i am,
wondering why you won't set me free.

the wind that was once so soft,
a refreshing autumn breeze,
now rears it's angry head,
attacks me with a freeze.

you make my face go numb,
my hands crack and bleed,
why friend have you turned against me?
so readily.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said.
My life in and of itself is a redundancy.
It has been lived before, ended before.
All my achievements, a regular occurrence.
All my mistakes, a failure to learn from those who came before me.
Yet, I still live.
Hoping to be special, unique.
But even those before me have hoped.