You started as a girl
With wavy blonde hair, worn long (for religion)
And sea green eyes.
You always wore a skirt (also the religion)
And hated it, railed against it every day.
That girl didn't last long,
The quiet girl who wanted out.
You were still a girl after
With short blond hair and green eyes,
But now the skirts were gone
And so was the quiet.
You began to rebel,
But only in small ways.
Hair
And skirts
And secrets never told, except to me.
This girl became a leader,
Strong and proud, MY leader.
Next you were dangerous.
Hiding yourself with
Cuts and the cuts with
Long sleeves and harsh words.
I tried to help, hide, anything at all
But it was hard,
With parents snooping,
Checking my email,
They discovered
The cutting and
Everything else.
I was ordered to talk to you and
In doing so,
Smashed your trust in me.
You never forgave me for that,
The dangerous girl I knew.
Next you were hard and sharp
With dyed hair and
A slash for a smile,
And new-minted bisexuality.
I tried so hard to balance
On the edge of your affection
And my confusion,
To find a way to be "normal".
But why try?
Normal doesn't exist.
I couldn't do it, so I
Gave up and
Flirted back
At, you, the girl I loved.
Now you're a boy
And I worry for you.
Your mother won't speak to you
And your father ignores you
And I had to move
And there are too many things I worry about.
You can take care of yourself.
I know that much to be true.
After all, you cared for me
When I was younger,
And for that I thank you,
The boy you've now become.