Broken glass covers the floor
The smell of alcohol fills the air
Ever since you walked out my door
Life has been filled with such despair
Best friends forever
Turned out to be the sweetest of lies
Because broken people are always abandoned
It was only a matter of time
Before you grew sick of the sadness
The endless darkness inside
Of me, hopeless, depressed, damaged
You didn't even say goodbye

9:57
Vinyl Morrissey on the record player:
Window down,
Hair riffling in the breeze.
Guitar in hand,
strumming patterns guaranteed to relax my shoulders.
Crinkled papers line the floor
Covered in unused song lyrics
And scribbled what ifs about the girl you used to love.
For a second the sun hits your eyes and you look
Fragile.
Sensitive and vulnerable like myself.
Drops of rain shoot from the sky and kiss your window sill.
I slide my hand toward yours,
Stroke the outline of your fingertips
Until morning came,
and changed your eyes from blue
To gray.

Pleasant surprises never come to me and
Pessimism is how I learned to survive
So forgive me if I show doubt my darling
I haven't felt this happy for a very long time

Happy spring*
I whispered to the pine
What I couldn't tell your eyes
Because you weren't human after all;
Just another loaded gun.

Stop.

Breathe.

Write.


My heartbeat slows as the words flow out
Sometimes I can't believe these words come from my mouth
Or my fingers should I say perhaps
Nonetheless, these are mine
I keep them in this mind I call my knapsack

In this knapsack of mine,
Are the things people never see
So to write from it is hard sometimes
These are my personal feelings

I'm tired of being true to everyone but myself
It's okay that I'm not okay, it's okay to need a little help
But don't listen to them when they say,
"You can't do this on your own"
They only say that because they couldn't
Girl, they don't know the ways you're strong

I gotta keep putting faith in these bones
I possess the only arms that I've ever called home
My soul is independent because my strength runs deep
And to be able to see that now, means a lot to me

I've come a long way
And I've still got a long way to go
But don't think I'll ever say,
"I can't do this on my own."

I know my vision is often clouded,
but even when I try to blink away
the blur of disbelief,
I still see it with impartial eyes:

You float into space
and strike at the stars,
expecting to glimpse Euphoria—
But your hollow heart is
burdened, harbored;

And the weights of a long past
cannot be so easily
expelled

March comes like a punching bag

March will bring her smiles like plastic bags
Some tear some don’t
You never know when she will glare her teeth like razorblades and bleed the snow
from underneath these fingertips.
Leave my insulation soaked, me; feverish.
And the joke is, I saw this coming
shivering the melted ice out of me she
bares her grin like a warning sign,
and I was either too brave or dumb enough to step inside
like a welcome mat made out of ice
and a cartoon dog
A scared pitbull, and a woman in charge.
The joke is that haha
There is no joke, you walked in.,
and made one out of yourself.
Out of the frost on your eyelashes and grief on your fingernails.
haha get it,
sweat her out like the coldest fever, without dying of shock.
Get it now?
She brings back the taste of firewood and comfort of flames when you needed it the most
Punches like the best punchline
hard enough to make it hurt
not hard enough to make you forget
hahaha
Knocks the wind out of you.

If you’re gonna leave-leave completely
Because the thoughts of you
That consume my mind
Keep me up at night.

I hate the little things
that remind me of you.
I’m still pulling bits and pieces of me
From your quicksand.

And although I do like him a lot
He’s not you.
Why do I have hope
That this is redeemable
When it’s based on nothing?

So-here we are, you’re gone, and you left the door wide open ..
I haven’t had the strength
to close it yet