I do not fear loosing him
I only fear for what is lost..

Blindness to a way through
"No surrender" at all cost..

Feet to fire he submits
Humors my "demands"..

But will he ever realize
Our fate is in his hands?

Easy to see the hostility
Yet beneath the outward blame..

I see a man whose hurting,
Alone with so much shame..

He has greatness in him
A heart so loyal and true..

Yet wrapped tightly around him
A disease which allows nothing new..

So slowly his greatness dies
His compassion withers and fades..

His family resists turning to him
In so many, many ways..

It is not seen or heard
It hardly has a sound..

She finds a way to endure it
Her own Island cuz he's not around..

Drowning in a sea of *****
The goodness loses its grip..

Who remains is not her husband
For he has abandoned the ship..

He's lost at sea somewhere far
She waits, hoping he will learn..

Emplores the disease to forsake him
For he is lost and may never return..

"She's gone." he said..
In that moment you fled..

Inside to escape..
Faces show it's too late..

The knowledge of death..
She's breathed her last breath..

But there's nowhere to go..
So you try not to show..

The world's now in parts..
Of all broken hearts..

Who've lost their home..
She'll not tell a poem..

Of how to speak..
About something so bleak..

How to cry..
When you'd rather die..

How to ask why..
All so terrified..

Cuz their home is gone..
No leader lived on.

I smiled today; I did not look away..
From seeing Me straight in the
eyes..
Come out my dear, you've nothing to fear..
I'll listen, making space for your
cries..

Of frustration, loneliness, life losses..
That have piled up deep inside..
Know I've seen You, through you..
From me, you have nothing to
hide..


You may believe your conduct shocking..
Terrible, unspeakable even to me..
A mask to hide life lived in silent dispair..
Be assured, there's nothing I haven't seen..

And yes, I know those who love chocolate..
More than they believe they
should..
But asking your soul what's really wanted..
Will help you discover what's
good..

And not from an outside moral code..
But what strikes your soul's chord from within..
Still waters run so quiet, so deep..
Remember your searching that "well" from within...

So here you are Grief...
I've evaded you so long.

I always knew you'd come for me.
Perhaps you waited til I was strong.

For years I've danced around you.
Purposely putting on my facade.

Hoping I could appease you,
With a few tears now and again.

But you won't go, will you?!
Without taking what you're due..

Only brutal honesty,
will ever free me from you.

So here's what I've done to cheat you,
Out of what was yours.

I've swallowed up my anger,
Lived my shame behind closed doors.

I settled for feined indifference,
Hostile, and surly glares.

I never told them of their blindness.
Or insisted my story I must share.

I've mastered laughing at the unfunny,
Made the best jokes at my expense.

Cuz lord knows if your not laughing,
Your alone without any friends.

I'm super good at pleasing..
And will not protect myself.

I'll work to make others need me.
Be overly concerned at their offense.

I'll loose track of my own boundaries.
Cuz did I tell you how I flirt?

Helps me seal the pain inside.
Helps me cover up the hurt.

So Grief lets have at it!!
I promise I won't hide.

We both know its time.
To unlock that girl I left behind.

To change the past.
That is the plea.
Of the many,
Who have failed like me.

Torment be gone,
From hurting hearts.
Anguish errased.
Unpuzzled the parts.

So much more simple,
life could be.
If it all could unscramble
And set us each free.

From our choices,
Now sealed in the past.
Forever imprinting,
Our days to the last.

I can never loose, what I never have.
Or have what I'm not willing to loose.
But watch now as I weave around,
The world's imposed rules.

There may appear to be no way,
out of yet another catch 22.
But such the optimist that I am,
Perhaps the universe I can fool.

I imagine in my minds eye,
a day not so far ahead..
Where serenity reins, sense abides,
Lost hope renewed from dead.

The how and when, I've no control.
But that given time it will be true.
There's a way to where we each belong..
A way back home, for me and for you.

The sound of grief?
A piercing scream..

From deep inside..
A broken dream.

Try to wake..
Run and hide.

But no...no.
Not this time.

A wave of pain..
followed by dread.

Up for air..
No, I'm not dead.

Bargain..plead..
Please don't leave!

Answer why!!?
I don't believe..

Don't go!  Don't go!
I'll lose control..

You promised me!
you'd never be stole..

No choice for me..
No answers to hold..

Powerless, and small..
Surrender; I then unfold.