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2.6k · Mar 2014
A Bicycle
Thibaut V Mar 2014
I know we all
love perfect geometry

so there I laid
making sense of the scene
staring at the machine
resting incomplete
and knowing- it needs me;
I am the missing piece

But then I wondered
which part would I be
resting above the bicycle seat?
crunching the cogs-
and hogging all the good teeth
but no-
instead disguised in the frame-
-in the open triangle-
-under the icon-
-under the handlebars-
-a part I don't know the name-

but the one trying to make ends meet.
Thibaut V Jan 2014
So I am watching
the Washing Machine,
rolling over itself;
having our clothes cleaned.

And Maybe I floss to often
though maybe thats not possible
such a task is too common

and love is just ***
and so I make it the objective
as the object
I object.
as Justice
and whatever "just is"
is Just us

and there are other parts to continuing
that we forgot.
since if you move too far ahead of your competition
you forget the reason why you run

and you end up as flint
or lint
missing,
the fire
or the match
               scratch that,
                                      scratch that,
      scratch that,
especially the match

but be fluent
in burning the resources and not the bridge.

-keeping everything grainy and fibrous-

-  you are are healthily expanding-

  
  so if you're too nervous
of being judged
you might as well
not show up.

so instead I am watching the washing machine.
1.9k · Aug 2014
Aries Bound
Thibaut V Aug 2014
Aries bound I need boundaries
Not to be the rebound
but I believe things beyond
and so work with some stupid clock
but we all do that do we not?

not astrology - though logically
there has got to be some piece of you in me
or some "one" that we all come from
and pull on the long robe of
when we find ourselves in need of love

What doorbells and picture frame
take me behind the scenes -
to the make-up and gossip of God's escapades?

of course times of a willing wage; both the wars and lustful ways

in a club he slapped the room with a rage- as the beat grows fonder
and more closely - immediately forgotten
even as it just begins

but of course only after, reminisce
with our pure imagination
the scenic route with a violin

whether its out or just come in
or **** like the economical loot
depending how you chose to hear it
and you can still choose

certainly the sounds that aren't there
that we think count like the accents
that shape a world of difference

is it enough for you to redo

I find too often I smile with a frown
I am a boundary but still Aries bound
Thibaut V Sep 2013
And we’ll die
like a lemon dried
seeds that become stuck in pulp
of unfinished needs

I was angry
that you wouldn’t believe
when I would say
I couldnt be
one of the rocks
who would never leave
who would only stay
and would only stop
who couldnt breath
and you would always of thought
what little I brought
would never be mine
since it was always here
this whole time
and I
could pause the clocks
match its pace
and synchronize
and the base of the hour glass
must now fade into the past
for now, all that reminds
must be seen a bough
to a branch
1.4k · Sep 2013
Curiosity on Trial
Thibaut V Sep 2013
does it quiet down quite like the boat built for thrones. quilt in a flashy pattern to hone those that moan in distress to a tone that goes without oars. Ours Uranus envied. tightly like the slipknot that slowly brought the cone to breath.  The cone held depth but no more than the test we cheat and skip fast like all the rest. arrest me nay but may it be known there was no one that groped this 20 dollar bill tighter than any other mans addiction. hopefully one day we believed. but probably a night, this endless feed would fulfill its fight. return to a swarm but perhaps alone, remove the breath that basks afloat this bone.

quick to a dust.

proud as sun.

your goodbye, a smile. and a wink that was won, maybe you felt it. close and come near. but maybe distant, hidden, and nonexistent was it, like your fears. slipped from the pool off the diving boards divorce. we felt its return to fame as a belt on the mane. all was quiet on the sunlit stage. silhouettes to a frame and my cranium to the cane. like a gap was made. in the space, now what remained was a scar on my head where the hair was shaved.

light and it worked.

but still had doubt in our dour faces, tears tumbled out.

and then soon, we become confused.

were the lights on the streets those of the moon? when could we find them slip through the grass. on a tired binged morning would I sleep at last? was it past the noon in the night we prayed. is that the question? is there any redemption, am I too tense then, for the 9-5 man to realize his wage? is the question the question or the answer we seek. it pressed against the kidney we guessed, and then flipped we questioned was it the appendix. or the pancreas. kings cross saint pancras would suggest rest was not the best option.

we sought cooperation. none we got but maybe a salt shaker flipped, one grain above the edge,  95 proof, 51% off the ledge, weight against, the bourgeois rent, patience spent, and the place went. weary eyed gentleman. welcome then to the court. you should have all received then, the letters we sent in envelopes  with stamps and other bores. spiraled with a speed down the barrel we swore bent. but soon, evident, to be straight like all the rest.

Is it hard to breath fire?

I always wanted to know.

quick like baskets.

cross legged with the ivy
silhouettes come clear
the wear isn't there
and it seemed never was ever as thin as a hair.
1.2k · Sep 2013
That Which We Feign To Hate
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Hasina had gums of a prune colored play dough, much like the type which he used to mold and model into similar contraptions and cases. Contrasting with the teeth of a superb suburban plaster, the ***** contusion continued its conversation. Collecting admirers and adolescent adonis’ innocent of their sins. Since the inoculation, passed away, a pretense to nervousness approached the very essence of our chest; the bead of the brooch where we found the philtrum too close to the nose. Curling inside its own bare curves. A bed without sheet, hindered, harnessed, the horse dragged on.

We soon found that the things we feigned to hate would come close to fame, In a magazine cover sheet, handed in late.

Hasina, and her mother, certainly did not suppose that that beneath the floor boards, neither harm nor concern would be discovered. And neither was. With the way their will worked things became distributed. Disturbed guests of unwanted presents and gifts soon re-sent to other more malleable means of hospitality.

Hungered as the hundredth wolf come to late. He too howled, but not at the moon, or rather not its simulacrum of a glowing truth, its silver light, or any movements its clearly showed. Growing loose the tumor slipped out, slowly. And with a plop, pressed against the walls, The jaws dropped and the mason jar closed and posed on exhibition for lessons, and interests, obsessions, dreads, things grotesque pressed against the walls.

To be captured, resting above the skyscrapers. Where in the hours of dawn, space overlaps, a frowned pace of a clock grows fondly of the time that is lost and past.
Thibaut V Feb 2014
Demented is not a subordinate
grey
nor subbed to explain,
But instead every color there is
And self evident;
Cream:
Which is no tone
But texture to grow.

So stop with the divination
and calling my name

I'm right here

On this, honest
Double take
I'm looking forward

And not clinging to dreams
Ones I must obey and perform
the practice of wishful thinking for
in the name of
A mighty god

When I am right here

So stop the divination
And name Calling

I'm alright and I know it
I didn't need you to tell me that
I was another thing to worry about
Reluctantly finding the answers in my subconscious

I will sooth say
Loosening the gates
And letting all the folks in,
Into my humble castle
With exotic carpet hospitality
All are welcome

And we will be friends
And join forces
Without illusions of sums greater than wholes
But with a purpose to share what's worthless and worth all
This is a poem about social stigma's involving insanity and mental health. It concludes in describing how I personally have taken a new found look on it which in a nutshell assumes we are all crazy. For me, to be crazy does two things to a person- it can result in an ego where one might believe they are a god (stop with the divination and calling my name) and also a world where one is treated like the opposite ("" and the name calling). I philosophically believe the world only exists when you are aware of it and engage with it and thus are in fact god-like already. So to be treated like you are "crazy" is to basically acknowledge the power of your role in perceiving the world but are looked down upon for it as you realize everyone else abides by social controlled values and norms. As a result imagine a world where we function not in the cesspool of  hierarchy trying to be better than one another, but instead realize that we are each gods and goddesses in our own way and we should each be valued as such. I thus dream of a world that we may live in, in which we revere one another and value all types of people. This is a dream of a world I may offer and present to others and all may be welcome in and one that does seems so passive. So to speak I am now making active efforts to be friendly, welcoming, and accepting of people in the world and respect as such. This active effort is not one that derives from obeying a system but instead I am entirely responsible for.
1.2k · Feb 2014
The buoyancy of dreams
Thibaut V Feb 2014
Deep inside my Tum
Whether I am lifting a Van
Storm clouds above
A damp weatherman

Tension hooked in by the side
trampoline
suspending the moon
in our wildest dreams
Thibaut V Dec 2013
Grazing off the Screen
the little things that you sometimes wrote
I came to collect and keep close

So slow, does my lung breath
as a palpitating tremor
shaking
and stirred within
the mind that thinks

"when will it come?"

In expectation
desperation
dire attention
is required
to keep
My tears from crying

this dialectic
meta-dates.
I dictate:
"will I detect"
in rhetoric

"if I shall have expected it to arrive"

In sugar cubes
complete, and on time
as diamond brick streets
to tumble down as ice to melt
down my cheeks into my mouth
they leak


or welled up in pools
or on diving boards
with clay platforms
spongy stone floors

Blowing back and forth the reeds
to feel the river pour
as a wheat mill to turn in torque
to establish the width and paddled
chore to show off as a nimbly plotted
game of over lapping arrows and empty treasure troves;
of the destitute dialogue dominoes.
1.0k · Sep 2013
Heavy Clouds of Dirt
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Where men are gay for their beers,
and never integrated with the world’s clock.

Where men **** away their fears
on a wall only as big as the spot
they need.

All these fields
and the health they yield
all mushy and dead
from the crops
that would from the veins of grain, rot.

wrestle with the puzzle
with only your finger
or maybe a single straw cold glance

Maybe a bed of saw dust
would fix the pain in your Head.

No feather pillows
to comfort and cradle the mind.
to address the metal wounds
poverty to shelter me
and never too soon
if the distance of this curl in the sheet
might seem as distant
as this scene
as the movie passes it plays in
double, half, real time

As the flat valley
where a palm tree grows
in a puddle in my palm.

Mended the electric circuit
of the frequency of your body and memory

Finally slicing that grain of rice.

for the parted message like a divided sea,
fragmented slowly, evaporated

stuck in this resistor.

that makes it so tedious the final drop of condensation
finally becomes
a summer ants
last
breath
on a cold winters day or perhaps it was so little
like the smallest petal
falling down
as the pedal of a bike
cycling
up and down
through the largest
park
or maybe a roses thorn lifting the dirt up
ever so much
that a bit of dirt
amongst the frost
would rise up
the loudest sounds
as the heaviest dirt filled cloud
one this frozen water
could no longer hurt.
1.0k · Aug 2014
Corrections
Thibaut V Aug 2014
Cross things off Instead of erase and feel lost
but you dont have to think I am lame because
its too late to wear aviators-since its not the summer
and I got arthritis.
Feeling swept up in fall like brushing leaves off the sidewalk

I was captain bazaar with my sidekick
flying in on a broken engine
smoke rushing out the side
trying to lift a plane
the subsequent pain in my wrists
and the rest of my limbs
brought me to this bridge

its another thing;
multifaceted.
clever coat
and correct.
This poem has to do with the changing seasons - and how we in a way correct ourselves when we change for them. The starting line explains how when we make a mistake we have the choice to either cross it out or erase it- however by erasing our mistake we lack the context by which to learn. i then proceed to explain a mistake I made in which I "crossed it out" instead of erased it. The desire to wear aviators when it isnt particularly sunny and turning to fall is somewhat in appropriate. Using the true purpose of aviators- glasses for pilots- I contextually bring to light the improper use of my aviators- all the while using the proper use  (a story in which I am a pilot) to cross out this error. I find that there is another aspect of changing seasons - that of a pragmatic sense. The wearing of coats- I wear an aviator's jacket but instead because it is cold out turning into fall at time in which this was written. Interestingly the jacket I was wearing in a sense represents a time in which I am changing into a certain season. The "lifting a plane" bit is a my effort to not seem like a fool for wearing the wrong things.
973 · Sep 2013
Helplessness
Thibaut V Sep 2013
I feel uncomfortably cold talking to dead love
doing things I dont want to
and, feeling shoved
into the future.
Into paths, lifestyles,
chosen for me
not that escaping would make me free

I could run
but what from?
everything?
911 · Jan 2014
4 Minutes
Thibaut V Jan 2014
walk into room from shower
Write message to hopeless love interest on Facebook
comb hair
wonder if I used to lose this many when I was younger
make a neat pile to see if its a substantial amount
eh
itch in ear
walk to bathroom
consider if i should see a therapist about anxiety because of potential hair loss
grab 2 q tips
return to room
cleaned ears
chose to ignore it
seen 4 minutes ago
No reply
895 · Jun 2014
Country Music
Thibaut V Jun 2014
I could smell the horse **** rubbed into the rusted banjo strings- only by the ends did they still resemble their first form- hay.
Thibaut V Jul 2014
Physics cant fix it
I need a chemist
I appreciate the limits
and entropy

chaperoning heliocentrism
I captured that cat
with whiskers painted on
like a football player
you are a quarter back
but either way a star
but I am a lineman
and take the hits.

this is all intentional.
and this isn't.

Is this seclusion or am I being seduced
I am Ostracized
but yet you move to the other side of the room
it easy to see how I am confused
when you make all the calls
and yet I’d be expected to call you.
There is love to be found in all sorts of places- and it all makes sense. And yet often I find the love I try to share with other people is always out of order- and never functions.

The first lines emphasize an understanding with physics- that it studies more or less how things work- but mostly constants- e.g. gravity- things that we cannot change (essentialism)- but in regards to relationships- people change and so chemistry would be a more appropriate science of love as it is about how things react. Instead I need a chemist (english pharmacist) to fix the "chemistry" between us. Chaperoning heliocentrism is a reference to galileo's theory of the earth revolving around the sun- something that he was punished for believing (to go hand in had with the line before). I chaperone this thought- in the respect that my previous relationship was one that I looked after someone I cared for - and in doing so even disrespected myself. To chaperone one- is not an equal or balanced relationship in my mind as it exemplifies the parent- child relationship - not one of a more intimate status. Typically in the united states a quarter back is known as the football star- this is referencing the previous line about heliocentrism as this girl to me was my star and my world revolved around her. The middle bit about intentions - offers an understanding of the previous lines- how love relative to sports-science- and other topics make sense (intentional)- and the last lines that are more explicit and emphasize how my love didn't make sense (unintentional)- also the randomness of the that line- suggest the "entropy" of how random people are in regards to which ways they will get along.

The last lines suggest how I feel currently about this situation with this person- are you angry with me- and never want to talk again? (seclusion) or are you trying to play hard to get? (seducing me). She ultimately told me to *******- and yet she has separated herself from me. In this relationship I had- I gave all the power of what was happening between us to her- and yet I was meant to make the proposition of something serious. Our love did not work out. There is thus love in every topic - except the the ones you want.
860 · Sep 2013
My Personal Party
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Chicken has always been
there for me
I have my strobe lights
as police
and backyard decorations

ear buds in
and so it begins:

A true beat
is all I need
Long drives
that turn into streets

If the switch is clean
then touch the twitch

"I'm waiting"
from my bedroom door
For all the love I can offer
That is what I deserve

But now only in a dream
Magnified, this is the beginning

no better time to start
beer is my drink
"I party hard"
"I'm a Machine"

Ill play by your rules
I dont have my ID
But you let me in
"For the win"

I'd prefer to not have to correct
-Then you are biting my neck.-
The type-os in the morning

So I am on top
of things. Cup in my hand
but my cooled sweat gland
says this is fall or spring
but no club of a constant winter

On my way home
But I still want the boom

I want this song
on repeat
a better deal than up the street
"ACE!"
and all those cliches

(No I don't want this to end if I haven't found a special friend so goes the story of the personal party)

Better beers for the same price
and for the time being this shall consume my life.
Thibaut V Jun 2014
There's no shame, in removing your shoes
We just don't want the plague
well We'll just wait till it's gone away

So I'm eating out of your hand
Magnum grapes, and
The last look from planes
And other things shared leaving me in my own bubbly daze

The last invitation
To the hero to show
and when he doesn't
we'll all just go
Thibaut V Dec 2013
I knew enough
that falling

Down these little steps
was enough
to break my neck
maybe strip my skin
or hit my hip

and never walk again
Thibaut V Oct 2013
Amersham Arms
Synonymous with
Alcoholics Anonymous

If we cant tell genocide
is just some vicious type
of subtle suicide

If found it is a combination
of the obligation of order,
and thus the decision
of order, which would arrive
730 · Jun 2014
Probably Bullshit
Thibaut V Jun 2014
whenever I talk about art my mind gets so flattened
I wondered if I did wrong tormenting the album horn of plenty by Grizzly bear- I was listening to the song "don't ask" and I saw myself singing a cover of it- it was so **** good to hear for the first time. I wondered what I should do sitting opposite a cute girl I just had this exhausting conversation with. I wondered if I got up and left if she would want me more or something- I was wondering if something happened between us and one day she said she loved me what her first impression would be- why she fell in love with me- maybe the fact I displayed a passion. She said she was born in august- I knew she was a Leo- as am I - though I didn't take the arbitrary source of attraction too seriously anymore- given my last relationship with an aries was hell. Though I did learn a lot; This seemingly was my mind in the wake of all the strange patterns I once had- before and when I met her- I was trying to change these. I saw she had tinder on her phone- and I knew today after a talk with some ******* OkCupid - this is not how you meet women. So I wondered if I should delete it before I get to know her better or worse- get matched with her on there. I thought maybe she had a boyfriend - she was doing a masters - maybe she thinks she was too old for me - I don't know. excuses excuses. I sneak a look at her- she has a nice nose.. I don't know why- but I always check a girls nose out- its one of the things I find I fall in love with easiest. I thought about the song- how I always wanted to write music like this or like the fleet foxes. One of the few bands that both me and alice liked- she said at the end of it- something about how we don't like the same music or our sense of humor was off - and that we should just be friends because of that. I realize she always had a really strong front- Evidently that wasn't what she wanted- just some friendship- but I knew that. I want to say she was weak for not telling me the truth at the end. That the music thing was just ******* and there were other reasons we had for not being together. But I guess she really wanted to separate - given the fact she made it the trivial and banal and subjective of reasons for not working together. The saddest part about it all was that I still feel we had something though I know that is probably *******.

Last night I gave her friend Xiaoxuan some relationship advice- since I realized a lot of things lately and I guess she kinda valued my opinion or something- idk tbh I think she probably just really wanted to talk about her hopeless romance as a way of rationalizing her hopeless love interest that she didn't even have- I would know since I literally just did that with Alice. Though I still think we had something- though I guess through her I am learning a greater sense of self love. I told her she should get out of that situation with some guy who had a girlfriend and led her on calling her his second best.

Today I had plans to meet a girl I almost went out with who chose another guy over me. We stopped contact for a while- and then she messaged me we started talking again trying to be friends. she was also an aries.. odd. We were going to go to yo sushi to take advantage of the blue mondays deal and she did something strange and yet unusually familiar. She messaged me at 6 today to say she couldn't make it today. then again at 8 to say never mind. I asked her ***? and she said she didn't sleep - we spoke for a bit and I said "so yes then?" and I seem to remember her saying something like yes. so we continued to chat and then she cancels again saying she feels like ****. And then it hit me gently- I was in the same position as Xiaoxuan. and a few pieces fell into place- for one I remember how only a day before we were talking and she said are we still meet ing for lunch- I didn't reply - I told I was annoyed and didn't feel like chatting- e.g. *******. and Then she sent me this message- something ilk if you don't tell me in 10 hours I am making other plans- I said of course I want to go - I asked you to begin with after all. And just as calmly as I realized her playing me - messaging me at 2 and calling me sug sug and all that ****- I calmly told her that what she was doing was really rude- canceling 2 hours before meeting- as I made a distinct effort to make myself available to meet- and she was disrespecting me by canceling like that - especially bc i had some **** bad hay fever this morning anyway- I realized I made myself too available for people that are unavailable- but they are only unavailable usually because I am so available. As soon as I told this bothered me she behaved really callous to me - so I know exactly what she was up to. I felt good for telling her this ****** me off- but to be honest I got a bunch of pizza last night with Xiaoxuan. She didn't have any - but rather picked off the remains- the first night I had oregano since I last saw alice and we had that horribly awkward "date" with Xiaoxuan. I gave a few slices to a homeless man who said he hadn't eaten in 2 days. I felt bad for him and gave him 3 slices. He was nice guy and I could tell he was just hungry. It felt good helping someone else out for once- if anything I couldn't imaging me saying no.

I remembered some other special advice I gave to Xiaoxuan - that she should contact the girlfriend of that guy who was playing her. Because clearly he wasn't happy just with her. It was evident that it was the same with most people I knew in relationships- except for Alice.

She had 2 boyfriends since she was 13 and seemingly had a perfect sort of upbringing. I hurt me to think that she might of felt bad at any single moment and could tell me or anyone else about it. She had to be grotesquely strong inside to keep all those feelings in - since no one has a perfect childhood. Or maybe she was the one person who did.

I felt it was a shame that high self esteem would have to be passed on so callously through example. I realized she felt good about herself most of the time. And didn't have constant regrets and bad feelings about herself as I- and most people have. And thats why she couldn't stand for me I suppose. Since I was all too aware of the sensitive nature of peoples nature.

I find it would be a paradox to be so independent and feel so good on my own - and that somehow that would make me a better lover- or more liable to get into a relationship. Rationalizing emotions- seemed ludicrous and yet made so much sense. Given the situation I got myself into with Alice I can't blame her for everything- that would keep me from learning- was one of the few lessons I learned.  

Something about this girl reminded me or Elena- someone who I think was in love with me at a certain point. And I treated her like every girl I "fell in love" with treated me.

May was the girls name. She just got up and left. She added me on Facebook and we said maybe one day we will meet to play some music or something - she sang. We just had a last minute conversation- about why my work was late- how I was kinda depressed - but I was feeling better now- more or less. She recommended  I get a girlfriend- which confused me. Since that was quite explicit- but yet suggestive but I won't think about it- since my mind is three feet below my thoughts and three feet above my heart -and it's probably ******* anyway.
Thibaut V Jan 2014
Some of us come as studded earrings carved with the occasional crack. As a hairline receding. Shaved to make old age come with ease. As the small hands well kept of young adults to be respected. But most, instead of the stone something more rounded glass perhaps but more precious and delicate. With an eye that has yet to become what it has seen. Washed up. But washed none the less. Picking up scent as a wet towel. But this one was the youth. Just aloof a fool to follow as perhaps the sand upon we stand.
634 · Dec 2013
The Apathetic Pyramid
Thibaut V Dec 2013
I see folks sit in Solids
I have retired
and went back to work
some entire, image
is too generous to forgive or have received

for torn faces do I see
ones of more healthy regimes
to begin and end
not in a day dream
but in a nightly sleep
and daily score

ones of impending towers
to drift to the sea
and wish forever more
to be

the slithering concoctions
on a writhing rock den
of pain and empathy
will supersede

and others who possess
such unnamed beauty
are possessed

and instead to find
its for the best
to relieve of said tension
and maintain as a suspension
Thibaut V Jul 2014
I grew up with game stop and kids swap yet sometimes fruit striped gum was not enough. Found on tights leading to great thighs and bums. Yet sometimes it was not enough.

An intoxicated glaze covers my face makes it easier to cover the space between us.

I don't want any trouble - said to the stumbled man of mystery. Yet no double standard for this trial and error trying to resolve what we thought were the answers.

The scent of pasta sauce and **** in the doorway
630 · Aug 2014
Preserving the Perverse
Thibaut V Aug 2014
I am trying to preserve the perverse
I want to save
and tell you its ok
drink my blood
and hug a nurse

sell you faith
a cellophane
to preserve.
or just cover the poor.
then cover up the perverse
in the corner with the dunce cap.
and cello-tape
drawing things together
Make everything ok.
(in a canadian accent)

open another door and receive a cookie
but I want to be the man who cooks it
as this is my fine establishment

I will be the coarse thing
that turns everything else smooth
let things run their course
and come to a dust that we can compromise on

but who will pay these wages?
do I want to be the guy that stands at the entrance letting everybody in?
Hell maybe- if Id already been.
This poem is about religion. I express my desire at the beginning to preserve the perverse - otherwise analogous in this context to heretics. Particularly in reference to heretical desire to be god. If I was god what would be my obligations- I list them in the poem to help people - Have people drink my blood as one would while drinking the blood of Christ. However I do say **** my blood because it resembles a vampire - something viewed as evil which, if man were god, would be realized as the truth- that the essence of a god is not in fact good at all but by nature malicious to control everything (God is indeed a heresy). There are various other things that I would have to do for people to maintain a role of god. I express the duality of the Hospital historically as a religious center. A place where modernly - after I gave blood as god I would receive a cookie to keep my blood sugar high, however this cookie would be made by me.

I express that I would be the coarse thing (sandpaper) that makes things run smoothly- much as a carpenter (as Jesus was a carpenter). Metaphorically speaking this goes hand in hand with laws of society that God is the lubricant providing the moral code by which we function.

And yet I provide the modern pragmatic arguement against god. That it should cost a lot of money to run an organization like the church and yet who will pay everyone- money does not come from god. As a result I might be left with no choice but to do the small things like be a nurse or be the guy that works at a ticket counter to accommodate the economical flaw of the church. But would I want to be the guy at the gates of heaven letting people in (if heaven was like a movie). Well maybe- if I had already been to heaven- the only way to do would be to have been god or the devil already.
611 · Dec 2013
Endeavor with Pride.
Thibaut V Dec 2013
A time for things vile and sublime
turquoise and lions

but perhaps panthers instead
would raid the forest

And instead of sleeping
at night
forges the pristine plight

one of courage and control

of risk, yet a roll
and a flowing water fall

and amongst
other things divine
to recall
the sun to rise
not in the day but night
600 · Dec 2013
Youth Revisited
Thibaut V Dec 2013
Color sells on a carousel
spinning round
flashing hands in front of
children's
faces

We so often forget the muses are found in the youth.

so bring me again
to that quiet seaside that I found
comfort in

Bring me again
to that smoldering cold shouldering
thing you do called a sin,
neglect.
597 · Nov 2014
Basket Hats are Out
Thibaut V Nov 2014
Every september feels a fresh start
and yet a brisk end

If you want some understanding
stop taking everything for granted

I cant profess
I can confess

an *** kicking or an *** kissing

basket hats are out
the autumn is in
I can feel it
the leaves are falling
and I feel I know everyone that passes
**** this is religion.
Thibaut V Jun 2014
From where do we gather such illusions
People’s portraits on medieval displays
with icons on the sides and
all around

it makes sick
that we can have drops in the bucket
to which there is no lid;
and it overflows

I cant pay attention
or want to listen
nothing matters
or makes sense

there is no mound of dirt
there are no mountains
we are no trees
growing
and learning

I found I am obtruding
Against the ceiling
Im like bubble wrap
or a balloon
waiting to blow
or to bloom

I wished I could disintegrate
into a bomb of flowers
like the credits
of the pink panthers

and acknowledge
the illusionary trick
and peoples portraits
on medieval displays

so we talk about speculated numbers
and death in the plague
and its all so vague
waiting to die

for all I know
is I have 95 minutes left in my last class
my body is sore
and no one loves me anymore
and so quickly
be kicked

this is no story I can dig

sooner than be crucified stretched
close inside my self
Thibaut V May 2014
The Havens
Haven't
had enough
music

Since two shoes
changed to clogs
on the grassy tops
of sweden

Hiding
from handwork
and labour
in the woods

with the nymphs
empowered lymphs
and hyphens
530 · Mar 2014
Title (Optional)
Thibaut V Mar 2014
I stretched
and my head shook
and a fragment of dust fell on my screen
and I felt dead silence

I had thought it before-
if there was anything happening in the silence
if people who sat there
were instead mounted
in some egotistical endeavor

in the distance and out the window
I began to see the beginning
of a stationary UFO
and the idle suspension chords
of the stadium below
and the light above
and down they glowed.

I saw buildings
that came in phases
instead of the pages
I am meant to read
my flatmate nagging me
et ce n'est pas possible
with such a scope of the city

and the day turned to a pale blue gray
and the sun waded away
down the back of this library
in which I could not read
519 · May 2014
Give me the Will
Thibaut V May 2014
You were just a Barmaid
but I was just a Nothing
well worse anyway
but there are a few things that you taught me

besides the feeling of your stubby thumbs upon my face
how they would stick
and how I'd want them to stay
or your little lips
when I couldn't resist
and Id just give in

or the time you finally let me massage your back
I wanted to think it mattered
it certainly did to me
but I am such an *******
since I couldn't just say it
how Id love to massage your back for the rest of my days

and when sometimes things seemed to be so perfect
somehow I just couldn't accept it
Instead I get scared I say the exact thing
to push you away

I tried telling you
how I had this problem
how I was insecure but it wasn't so simple
and I was too caught up in my thoughts

but you helped me get out of them

and this is where you helped me mature
to grow and learn
and then amongst other things that you taught
there were some that you make clear
for me to observe
but then others that we both take a part of
e.g. falling in love

I wondered if I gave you any lessons
if I helped you learn
I wish I did
something that would make you want to come back

thinking of how you'd walk cross armed
with your bag
trapped in the corner of your shoulder
which had, something written on it
something like marrakech
something like that
and there was some funny font
and an elephant
or so I remembered

and so I longed

things were different for us
from your family that showed you love
and my parents who were far from it
Its why I ended up as a poet
musician, and an artist

all these ways I need to express
how I feel since I am too impressed
with everything too often
and I find it hard to say what I mean
But thats not to say you might of found it easy
hopefully this isn't just me fooling myself
Thinking you might have feelings.


I have my normal response
to be rash and tell
you all about how I feel
But I realize now
I need to be rational
as you have to know
this time its real

I get scared of waiting
thinking you already
know what will be.
but you once told me anything is possible
and so you give me will
to wait patiently to not be so emotional
because I am very emotional

but I wait
anxiously
for how you feel
as I know that in the wake of this
you will have to give me the will
Thibaut V Feb 2014
Oh narrative where have you gone? For I have looked long and wide for the stories of crumpled pages, crushed and ripped from the notebook.
Tossed utensils in bitter dissatisfaction, the romance and dining room etiquette. The mysteries of discovery and love and journeys and paths. Where has the classical romance fled in desperation? The aimless prose of life without purpose- the vagrant dolce vita/et decorum est. stories of huffing men of androgynous battles of bamboo shoots that bloom.

For it is science fiction that grabbed the attention of the masses- the road and where it led. And then also one without purpose. This is how love would be found- floating distantly in space with a raging discontent and somber acceptance of the next assignment due whilst Chopin plays instead of the blue Danube and there, a second sun would be found adjacent to two walls not a corner but more so a crease curiously waiting and the light would shine up and divide into two separate circles and beneath the boundaries of each, a shadow. And the sun would know darkness.
Oh narrative where have you run to? Or perhaps we have run from you.
509 · Sep 2013
Death and all the Rest
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Walk, arm-deep in pockets
My shadows glide along like a Don of Death
The smoke of drying morning dew on the lawn
like my jaw dropped down. And my soul leaped out.
No more pressure, no heat in my body to keep it in.
No more soul. To keep my body warm.

This wool of an apparition.
Spooled into its tapestry
coughed out like a hair ball.

But then the question becomes;
was it dry all this time in the depths of my stomach lining?
Or was it wet, with all my sweat,
everything sweet, I had eaten?

It would swell.

Sent from my spent well.

It would leave.

As everything soft, that was once lost.
Cashmere that would pill
With holes removes no one could fill.
With desires I could never quench or quell.
With the crushed pulp of what it meant to feel.
As an orange that I had planned to peel.
503 · Sep 2013
Fate
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Down Below
Where it was too dark
You Would Follow
and it was all so
indecipherable
For you to know
what it was you liked or ever wanted.

Preferences seem like a joke
or some volatile masking smoke
that soon leaves
when you can identify what you need
and soon you love it all
after hours of hate
Was there ever this fate
or was it a choice this whole time
then the decision was so difficult
but why?

Fate is a water that this stream has seen before
long since it was ever formed
and left the second after it was scorned
and some how stays
like some cold warmth
that chokes you
to warn you you might get soaked.
490 · Sep 2013
The Second One
Thibaut V Sep 2013
Sleep,
Breath
Heavy
Disease
Eats every
Seed
Everything
I needed
Slipped from reach
There it stayed,
On a clingy moss that grew off the cliff .
There it layed,
As a tired cat in the sun.
With teeth long as a trees.
It finally signed a treaty
Where the body meets its end.

No motives.
Plot.
Paths to follow.
Into that thick light green patch that would seem to never end.

Not a pulse or shadow, to follow into a light or wall.
"Its staying tonight, and that is all."
For when it wakes the second one will be what you have become.
478 · Apr 2014
In a flat
Thibaut V Apr 2014
Fit for paper pen and pencil maker
later's marker and before's sharpener
both seem too dark, but have returned
to grade the present and give it gifts and misfortune
in that order

typewriter shoelace alarm shaker
always tingles, soon right after
and awakens to spin and turn
over open fire to timidly book burn.

oh you brick laying arbitrator
I am pleased for your concern
and then there are sometimes no more words
that enable an unsure future to grow and learn.
473 · Nov 2014
Working in a Cloakroom
Thibaut V Nov 2014
I sense I am irrelevant through your irreverence
in the other room cheap songs of love played under the ones I choose
let me speak to you like an idiot - and that makes me smart
“*******”
softly entered -
then blurred my vision
I think I am sick
but dont know it yet
but Im probably alright
and I am glad I feel alright

dont sweat it
but sweat it out
“at the end of the day right”
with a long line of acquaintances

what are you raising your eyebrows about
with reactions like that - you shall be the subject of another bout
471 · Apr 2014
In English In French
Thibaut V Apr 2014
"No, No Charge"
I said at the bar
in a foreign language

-as he handed me the coconut-

Butting heads
Throwing checks- and chips
across the felt table

the burn
as the shots go down
dont hurt- I turn and say

"Me no parle anglaise"

and she grabbed my hand
in the caffeinated stance
I assumed the trance
and joined the adjacent positions
The bridge
of her nose
disappeared and I continued to ignore the impulsive thoughts I had

So I read up on the positive qualities of coffee
and thought about meaningless ***
contemplated prostitutes- the idea of course-, and laughed in cautious blues  
I thought of one night stands- the ones she would want to have-
and how little they meant
and how insignificant liberty is really
like the empty bottom of a 12 inch tom

But the pounding
and drumming
are coming from my head. no where else
for a man - who wanders in another place- and expects
to know where he's headed.
Thibaut V Mar 2014
Frozen, floating
in my tumbler,
my Life preserver.
filling the hole
of the disc's cylinder
becoming something
of lumber
and
Timber!

Crashing with
onto collapsable bed
collapse
something I give
uh oh, I'm
tired
and put me to sleep

Watering the leaves
amongst other things
I see
Inspiration
and ooh,
my poor Liver
467 · Nov 2014
Wonder
Thibaut V Nov 2014
Occasionally I feel the curious mystery that sustains in khaki
bows and the mystery of planes
as an emporium of leaves immerse the night
swallowed in the open plains of plaid or locked in the wood behind the walls in home on the range
a wonder
of crosshatch
and deliver
in the answer
I curiously consider
"what thing would dispel
such a calming
emulsion?"
456 · Jun 2014
Backfire
Thibaut V Jun 2014
So I said how I felt
and you left
and I never heard from you again.

Its interesting how things backfire.
454 · Jun 2014
Unmatter
Thibaut V Jun 2014
stagnate-
up the creek par se
every which way
I'd use alliteration
for this rash
but its not homogenous
instead in separate stashes-
painfully buoyant idle and robust;
ducks

Brain fried
like a thousand flies,
above the floating trash,
better identified-
the outskirts
of a vague form
than the innocuous worm
found in straw surrounded ponds
in wiggling room -more than enough;
stuck

come in short
into the common fort
to flaunt, gauge, and gauze
columned concerns-
the core and the cause
for which there was none

yet allowed slow a ripple
to echo, reverse and to dribble
to re-emerge the subtlety
of a moving hill
448 · May 2014
Followers
Thibaut V May 2014
Are you stupid
do you get it?
there are rhymes here
and there and everywhere
anywhere- meanings besides what you read

christ give me meningitis
or some sickness to display
the esoteric **** that I say
as a ailment to amend
or **** me
- but nonetheless to do me away-

I don't mean to pry
but why do you read?
to learn to become someone else?
we'll make the best of it-
I transgress the evident tip;

please refrain from adapting to the ego of a million towers
I see you wander
- all of you
with your collars-
while I sit on my *** and bite my callouses
and listen to mid-popular, music
and I feel taller
as I submit, again and again and again
since theres no limit, to my drivel
and the **** ill say and do
till you reject it
and even then I continue
when you sit there and read - as I do with myself in revision-
you- as I- come to a wall - or worse a hole
something to take away neither the pain nor the gain - but the attention
or compassion from my life and yours too
I struggle to have these metaphors and hidden meanings rammed down my throat;

to take it in - perhaps make sense- perhaps be happy again

to accept , move to whats next, not regret, gain a lesson, begin to clap and to win

and establish new intentions

But I struggle to have these metaphors and meanings hidden rammed down my throat;

- so instead I pollute, to avoid the swallow
and then what besides the hopeless chase, of my self that I lose
that you and I become- nothing- reduced- to simply follow
The struggle of  poet
446 · Jul 2014
An Irish Tap
Thibaut V Jul 2014
An Irish tap
Between east and west
And still thin sticks exist
And small clouds that
Come in small
And Leave out tall Japanese trees

Ai Wei Wei and his Adam's apple
Tunnel through the catacombs
And the universal plateau

A desert awaits with needs
Everglades and tall Japanese trees

Elated as daisies and semi tones touching yellow bones

Fabric scrapes of the lint and intermittent highways

Make shift ufos with clamouring pans as protective plans or deterrent answers

Glamorous
And amorous
Voids the ear
Conversation Awaits
Looking forward
And the rest is history
445 · May 2014
The Conqueror of Hearts
Thibaut V May 2014
small vibrations
on my chest
is all it takes
to give and give away

and now I feel bad
that thats what you had
to go through
and I was too busy thinking of you

but not flavorsome you
that might have had regret
but the imperial you
the one I wanted
to colonize
and make mine

and now I feel selfish
living in the welfare of my metaphorical arms
expanse wealth to cover expenses of my nimble interests
Thibaut V Feb 2014
When I was younger
My mother
wouldnt buy me a gun
or a dog
or anything fun.

However with an expensive taste
I would feed my moth my cashmere vest
then that didn't fit
Only to encounter my long lost love bank; Mathilda the stray cat!
And mind you, collarless and deep in debt,
I'd find my moth
and feed her that.
442 · Apr 2015
Coffee
Thibaut V Apr 2015
Coffee makes you ****.
Even if you just had a ****- if you drink coffee,
you will **** again.

its like some weird impulse,
like pavlova dogs and the bell.

I wonder,
while taking a ****, though not having had a coffee today,
if we were somehow enslaved by some previous higher society
of mass corporation
that made us drink coffee and **** when we had it,
as some survival method no doubt.
432 · Feb 2014
To The Lateral Man
Thibaut V Feb 2014
Who walks with a tall cigar.
Aiming to spite the fate of a former affair.
He found height to be something to reach for outwardly, as a street instead of stars. As practical desires and the successes of a lateral man are not evident as those of a dream but instead a carefully plotted seam.
an old poem from 30/07/2013
Thibaut V Mar 2014
I have short stack
-not good for placing bets-
the feeling of trapped
comes back and back again

so instead of working hard

I sat on the lap of santa
but with a protruding silhouette of death
not so much asked as
demanded better hands
431 · Apr 2014
Rituals
Thibaut V Apr 2014
You prefer it, Permanent
in felt tip ink
as I place the sharpener
I brought,
down with a clink

In this window frame
everything looks the same
hair cuts, boots, phones
feign before my eyes
as I faint

So I sit while I watch
the rest fade
and the reflection comes back in

I wish to repeat
as Always
to attain
the same Feelings
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