This poem has to do with the changing seasons - and how we in a way correct ourselves when we change for them. The starting line explains how when we make a mistake we have the choice to either cross it out or erase it- however by erasing our mistake we lack the context by which to learn. i then proceed to explain a mistake I made in which I "crossed it out" instead of erased it. The desire to wear aviators when it isnt particularly sunny and turning to fall is somewhat in appropriate. Using the true purpose of aviators- glasses for pilots- I contextually bring to light the improper use of my aviators- all the while using the proper use  (a story in which I am a pilot) to cross out this error. I find that there is another aspect of changing seasons - that of a pragmatic sense. The wearing of coats- I wear an aviator's jacket but instead because it is cold out turning into fall at time in which this was written. Interestingly the jacket I was wearing in a sense represents a time in which I am changing into a certain season. The "lifting a plane" bit is a my effort to not seem like a fool for wearing the wrong things.

This poem is about religion. I express my desire at the beginning to preserve the perverse - otherwise analogous in this context to heretics. Particularly in reference to heretical desire to be god. If I was god what would be my obligations- I list them in the poem to help people - Have people drink my blood as one would while drinking the blood of Christ. However I do say **** my blood because it resembles a vampire - something viewed as evil which, if man were god, would be realized as the truth- that the essence of a god is not in fact good at all but by nature malicious to control everything (God is indeed a heresy). There are various other things that I would have to do for people to maintain a role of god. I express the duality of the Hospital historically as a religious center. A place where modernly - after I gave blood as god I would receive a cookie to keep my blood sugar high, however this cookie would be made by me.

I express that I would be the coarse thing (sandpaper) that makes things run smoothly- much as a carpenter (as Jesus was a carpenter). Metaphorically speaking this goes hand in hand with laws of society that God is the lubricant providing the moral code by which we function.

And yet I provide the modern pragmatic arguement against god. That it should cost a lot of money to run an organization like the church and yet who will pay everyone- money does not come from god. As a result I might be left with no choice but to do the small things like be a nurse or be the guy that works at a ticket counter to accommodate the economical flaw of the church. But would I want to be the guy at the gates of heaven letting people in (if heaven was like a movie). Well maybe- if I had already been to heaven- the only way to do would be to have been god or the devil already.

27/4/2014

There is love to be found in all sorts of places- and it all makes sense. And yet often I find the love I try to share with other people is always out of order- and never functions.

The first lines emphasize an understanding with physics- that it studies more or less how things work- but mostly constants- e.g. gravity- things that we cannot change (essentialism)- but in regards to relationships- people change and so chemistry would be a more appropriate science of love as it is about how things react. Instead I need a chemist (english pharmacist) to fix the "chemistry" between us. Chaperoning heliocentrism is a reference to galileo's theory of the earth revolving around the sun- something that he was punished for believing (to go hand in had with the line before). I chaperone this thought- in the respect that my previous relationship was one that I looked after someone I cared for - and in doing so even disrespected myself. To chaperone one- is not an equal or balanced relationship in my mind as it exemplifies the parent- child relationship - not one of a more intimate status. Typically in the united states a quarter back is known as the football star- this is referencing the previous line about heliocentrism as this girl to me was my star and my world revolved around her. The middle bit about intentions - offers an understanding of the previous lines- how love relative to sports-science- and other topics make sense (intentional)- and the last lines that are more explicit and emphasize how my love didn't make sense (unintentional)- also the randomness of the that line- suggest the "entropy" of how random people are in regards to which ways they will get along.

The last lines suggest how I feel currently about this situation with this person- are you angry with me- and never want to talk again? (seclusion) or are you trying to play hard to get? (seducing me). She ultimately told me to *******- and yet she has separated herself from me. In this relationship I had- I gave all the power of what was happening between us to her- and yet I was meant to make the proposition of something serious. Our love did not work out. There is thus love in every topic - except the the ones you want.