Sometimes people can
get into irritable moods
where no matter what
you say
or do
there's no changing
how they react
at that moment,

so I take it
as my cue
to walk away
and try them
again later.

If in the
coming days
I ever come across
an actual
time machine
I'll go back
to this present
moment
to tell my
past self
whether this girl
truly cares
about me
because right now
I'm worried
she's not
part of my
future.

C’mon Mom
go take me shopping
for an Easter dress,
because come
resurrection day,
I’m coming out as
trans,
and I only
trust you
to teach me how
to get dolled up
for church
like a proper
lady.

I have to always
catch
myself nightly from
falling
off the edge
of my anxiety

sometimes I end up
hitting
the ground,

and that's when
I wish spiderman
would come swinging
on his web
to save me.

Loneliness is
not something
we overcome.

It's an aspect
of the human
experience
that we must
endure
till the bitter
end.

For as long as
there are separate
beings
apart from you,
so is the possibility
of feeling all
alone.

As I was
wasting
my energy on
people
who wouldn't give
me
the time of
day,

a kindly woman
came
and encouraged me
to
take my business
elsewhere
with my self-respect
intact,

she helped me
to
realize my time
and
energy is just
as
valuable as everyone
else's.

I've missed so much
of your life,
that come the springtime
I'll take off work,
fly across the country,
and be there
in person
to bear witness
and celebrate
your wedding day,

believe me
I'll be there
on your
most important day,

that's my new year's
resolution.

The new grocery
store
opened in our
town,
exploring it with
you
was an utter
delight,
not because we
bought
any specific items
but,

instead, I shared
in
the excitement you
felt.

My best friend
thought
to send me
funny
videos from our
favorite
t.v. show; three
states
away we can
still
share a laugh
together.

My cat always
senses
when I’m becoming
upset,
he’ll then come
snuggling
up close to
me;

my emotional support
kitty.

Healing doesn't always feel
good,
yesterday during my procedure
I was uncomfortable
but had to
let the doctor
perform his duty,
and because I withstood
I can smile again
having been healed.

When all of
those
fair weather friends
had
fled my storm
you
acted as a
raindog
weathering my downpour
waiting
for me to
ease.

I'm glad I
gave
her the adequate
time
and space apart
from
me, because now
being
reunited with her
again
I'm able to
discern
what a healthy
relationship
truly is for
us.

Cruzing in your
car
just you and
me
after church has
ended
we share a
fellowship
that only God
could’ve
ordained for us
both,

our car ride
blessings.

I can't rely
solely
on my own
counsel
for advice anymore
because
after reaching so
many
dead ends this
year,
I've now realized
that
I need professional
therapy.

I'm a tree in
September
with my leaves changing
color,
falling off one by
one,
and letting the cool
autumn
breeze blow through my
branches
sweeping the deceased ones
away,

during fall, I'm letting
go
of possessions I held
dear.

There's no
shame
in loneliness
because
all living
things
depend on
each
other to
survive,
so feeling
alone
and seeking
togetherness
is a
natural
state of
being.

We went on an
adventure
to a new local
restaurant,

we both weren't
craving
the menu,
except for slices of
cheesecake,

we didn't order dinner,
but
it's still a sweet
escape.

I began writing
not
for personal gain,
not
for attention from
others
or out of
obligation
instead, I just
typed
out words simply
for
the joy of
writing;

and that's the
only
motivation I’ll work
with.

Waiting for our
food
in the packed
drive-through
lane during a
hot
summer's day didn't
take
forever because at
least
we were waiting
together.

I couldn’t
hide
my squeamishness
because
she acted
far
too familiar
with
me and
forgot
about our
boundaries.

After the horror
show
I messaged you
because
after those scary
visuals,
I needed someone
to
be with me
while
my anxiety faded
away,

and as we
conversed
your presence reassured
me
there’s nothing to
fear.

Envisioning what I
need
in my life
now,

I remembered playing
with
my old school
chums
having a swell
time,

not superficial relationships,
instead
a pure unadulterated
camaraderie.

No matter
what
your test
results
come back
indicating,
I’ll stand
by
you in
sickness
or in
health.

Gazing at a
photo
of my younger
self
I feel
able
to love the
inner child
who still
resides
within me.

After accidentally slipping and
landing
on the hard floor,
everyone
laughed at my expense

all
except for you who
checked
on me to see
whether
my condition was okay
which

gave me all the
courage
to stand right back
up.

Julia still follows
along
moments of my
life,
I keep on
trying
to pay attention
toward
her’s as well,
but
with my every
request
she denies me,
so

I'm content with
her
being forever my
on-looker.

To the trans
woman
who went to
use
the ladies room
tonight,
you have every
right
to make use
of
the facilities that
you
feel most comfortable
with.

Keeping myself busy
all-day long
by completing
my to-do list,
kept me preoccupied
for the most part

but once
night fell,
a realization came
that I had no
human interaction
the whole time

which left me
feeling a longing;

no one can ever
escape
the need for
other people.

I’ve tried for
so
long to have
the
pretty girls be
interested
in me, but
instead,

I should’ve sought
for
a woman to
be
my friend firstly,
only
after that could
she
be an ideal
partner.

To keep myself
from
sitting by the
phone,
waiting for your
call
I glued my
eyes
to the sliver
screen,
at least movie
stars
show up for
me.

Just because I've
absorbed
all of your
tears
doesn't mean you
can
hang me out
to
dry like a
wet
towel on the
rack.

The girl struck
up
a conversation with
me
and before I
checked
my clock again
we'd
talked for ten
minutes;


I simply didn't
care
where the time
went.

Today my alligator stuffed
animal
returned from being mended;
so
now, as I'm falling
asleep
at night I'll reach
across
the bed and delicately
feel
his soft green cotton
scales.

Molly appeared so
lovely
that I could
feel
my heart beating
faster,

I haven't known
women
who got my
blood
pumping quite like
her;
in a long
time.

Men may not blatantly
share
their true feelings but,
if
when y'all are conversing
you
learn to listen more
closely
to their words, they'll
always
reveal precisely what they
need
you to know about
them.

Doctor don't
bother
diagnosing me
because I already
know
that I've caught
an acute case
of lovesickness
for a girl
who can't
be mine,
and the only
medicine
that'll cure me
is heartbreak.

I don't mind
if
people initially reject
me,
instead, I'm regretful
whenever
I shy away
from
taking the opportunity
to
initiate a conversation
with
that person in
time.

Every night I
pray
for this same
request:

to be reunited
with
my love the
sea;

to feel her
embrace
as gentle tides
allow
me to drift
past
the sandy shore
unto
her deep blue
depths.

These stitches loosening
reveal
my wounds have
healed;
demonstrating to me
even
the most invasive
incisions
have a capacity
to
be restored new
again.

For now, I'm
taking
all the time
required
to process through
my
emotions, so that
when
I'm ready I
then
start the healing
process.

The landlord is
raising
my rent yet
again,

but as a
result
I'm gladly moving
out
of this place,
because

lately my apartment
has
felt like an
old
tomb instead of
home.

I'm the scarecrow
standing
still beside the
field
shooing away all
those
birds flying past
me,

for my heart
was
replaced with straw,

and
now I cannot
receive
my beloved crows
anymore.

I saw that you
read
the message I sent
and now I'm hoping
you couldn't
answer me back
because
you got held up
with something else
not ignoring me
instead.

A lone wolf
doesn't
howl at the
moon
because he's killed
prey
instead, the wolf
cries
out for his
pack
to return to
him.

To the poor
waitress
who I refused
to
tip today during
lunch,

if I'd remembered
that
you work for
pennies
on the dollar,
I
wouldn't have stiffed
you;

forgive me being
stingy.

I'll keep on
standing
up for myself
even
no one else
is
on my side
because
no matter what
I've
always got my
back.

Disappointment feels just
like
a ballon that's
deflating
it's own helium,

but
when this happens
you
shouldn't try grasping
back
for the thin
air.

What fun are
spur-of-the-moment
runs for
tacos
on Tuesday evenings;
which epitomizes
this particular
day of the
week.

I don't have a
dream girl
what I want
is a person
who communicates
with me
because my last
relationship
disintegrated because
of lack thereof.