I think I need to write pages of malarkey
all jumbled up and confusing
everything in my brain onto paper
maybe this will cure my writers block
let the words come out garbled
and chaotic
until they flow out steadily

"you need me" the blade says
"I''ll make you feel good
just let me kiss your skin"
the blade says
last year I might have given in
or at least considered it's offer
I had this pain so heavy in my heart
weighing me down
it seemed like the only option
I turn my head away
and ignore the blade's plea
I will not break
I will not give in
my pain is no longer
I am free from it's chains
the shackles have broken off
my skin holds no wounds
they're not needed any longer

I used to love the sun on my skin
warming me from the outside in
then an aberration change happened
now it torments me
it rays bury deep
making me wobbly
and dizzy
making me tired
and nauseous
making my heart pound
and my mind into mush
the heat is my kryptonite
slowly draining me
once I'm in its grasp

I have all these words piling up in my brain
stacking up on each other
but I can't string them into words
and into coherent sentences
I have this urge to write write write
but alas, I can't
the words don't make sense
and as soon as an idea comes to me
it floats away
out of my reach
I can't find my passion
what I am I without my words
how can I be a poet
if I have no words

clinginess is my predilection
hugs from behind
being held in another's arms
soft kisses pressed against my lips
caressing my skin
running their fingers through my hair
love letters expressing their feelings
meaningful gifts just because
shared smiles
comfortable silence
hours of talking about everything
and nothing
clinginess is my predilection

I've had a myriad of failed relationships
each one tore my heart open
but this one is different
however, not in a good way
they're so distant and cold
more like an acquaintance
than a partner
but maybe they need time
I'm trying to not overthink it
but alas, I am failing

a suit of armor sitting in a corner
cobwebs and dust settling in the crevices
give it a new life with some polishing
scrub and scrub the dirt off
the metal now looks anew
gleaming in the sun
shining bright
a fresh beauty displayed proudly
the gleaming suit of armor