i’ve wished upon stars.
blew out dandelions.
picked four leaf clovers.

none of these methods have seemed to work

so i’ll pray.
i’ll plead.
i’ll cry and i’ll yell.
to a god that i haven’t believed in since i was 9 years old.

all for you to come home.

i hate this feeling.

the hole in my chest, pulsating and throbbing at the thought of you.
a broken promise, something reformed and remade every time we speak.

unrequited love. i know what this is.
i hate it more than i can physically describe.
i hate that you’ve done this to me again.

it’s been 7 days, since i last heard your voice.

a tribute to us, i suppose.

the 7th of August, the day we fell in love.

the 7th of December, the day you came back.

7 days ago, the day you left again.

i’m starting to think it was written in the stars for us to only have a fleeting number of weeks together.
before one of us was bound to leave.

7 days in, will i ever hear your voice again?

The stage lights have come on.
The act is about to start.
So my voice will ring throughout, playing my part.

The doting friend.
Nothing more, nothing less.
The past lover that has moved on,
wishing you all the best.

I’m an incredible actor, so I’ve been told.
My voice will not break, nor will I.
But back behind stage there’s tears in my eyes.

I do not want to move on,
although I am forced.
Your smile infects my mind,
and throws me off my course.

I’m a wonderful actor, and so the show will run.
But this is your doing,
leaving me out in the unbearable heat of the sun.

“is it better to speak or to die?”

i’ve pondered this question.
turned it over in my palms, took it apart and reassembled it.
every way i view it,
it is better to speak.

why live your life, if not to the fullest?
why hide within yourself and let what you want pass by?

speak.
and do not speak only when death makes it’s inevitable march towards you.

speak like it’s your last day,
every day.

deep within the ocean, only secrets lie.
the marine life will hear them,
whispers carried in the currant.

a lonely world, that must be.
to only live within secrets.
small promises whispered beneath moonlit sands,
hands clasped in the darkness.
kisses shared beneath stars.

secrets that travel beneath sea level.
infecting the waters with unfulfilled words and pleas.
a whole world of darkness,
deep in the depths.

where our secret still lies.

i have this feeling.
a rot, thats deep within my soul.
something that i cannot cut out, or heal away.

it grows around my organs and eats at my heart.
it feeds.
always feeding.

only your voice can stop the ache.
youll come back, wont you?
say you will, please.