if you're a luxury i allow myself,
am i addicted to you?
if you occasionally make me feel everything- yet nothing,
do i know if you're what i need?
if i wanna take in all of you and release,
would you always be there when i want you?

we take snaps,
and freeze time.

snaps in context,
fit into the puzzle of our memory.

rods and cones,
turn into smiles and tears.

the frozen images,
bring back joys and fears.

i thawed those frozen images,
but a year ago.

i let them slip away,
and become part of the wind.

engraved in my mind,
adamant to move an inch.

no rods or cones,
you're still turning my smiles into tears.

block.
block by block.
blocks stacked.
block over block.

stress strengthens blocks.
shivers brings blocks.
serenity breaks blocks.

why are there still blocks?

the best you saw before,
is far from the best you see now.
living in this world,
you see yourself as the wilting bud.
creeping out of your skin,
as you wither and waste away.
understanding nothing,
ingesting all day.
inside we lay,
as we walk the earth everyday.
with a tinge of wonder,
buried under thoughts that refuse to give away.
only broken mirrors,
show images that don't fade away.
we see that,
the best then,
and the best now,
is far from the same.

You and Me.
Nothing lies in between,
but a pinch of fear,
and an ounce of hate.
Just a vague silhouette of two,
soft music in the background,
the two of us screaming,
and my neighbour complaining about the noise.

What led us towards one another?
Those are thoughts I will not fathom.
Engulfed in the nothingness of our emotions,
we lead one another into the darkness,
darkness inside our souls instead of the night.

We dance together,
but only when you'd like,
and not because we like to dance,
but because we have nobody else to dance with.

Then you leave,
and return as you'd like.
I welcome you with warm arms,
but a cold heart.
You may leave with a fond memory,
but you left me with nothing,
but the strand of hair in my bed.

all those times,
when you'd scream my name out,
to get me into your office.
I never thought I would miss the stress.

all those times,
when you'd lecture me,
and tell me not to work too hard and maybe play a little.
Words nobody would ever say so blatantly to me.

all those times,
when you pushed me to my limit,
showed me that I was stronger than I thought.
Nobody would've put in that much effort to make me a better person.

All those times,
I will hold on to 'those times' forever.
You've been way too good to me,
and I can't even give you a big ole hug.
Know that I shall always wish you the best that life can offer,
even though I can't tell you to your face.