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People ask what I want for Christmas,
and I try to tell them the cliché.
Makeup..
Gift Cards..
Shoes...
Something materialistic...

I want a boy, but not just any boy.

My heart aches for this boy..
I want my combat boots back...

I want my solider,
I can't ask for him...
I can't have him whenever I want.

I have to wait...
and the wait kills...
I told him I would wait and I would...

Waiting waiting waiting...
And here we go....
Another endless day

While I watch everyone else being happy
Content
Alive.

I feel like I am stuck
Stuck in a never ending cycle of sadness
I was happy
Now I am depressed

What am I to do?
If I could let you go
If I wouldn't regret it for everyday of my life
If I didn't love you
All of that would be easy for me

I love too hard,
You are mine.
Not hers,
But you seem to go back whenever you please,
leaving me with false hope and a broken heart

You love me?
Then why
You know you can't keep both of us,
but you're happier with her..

I can't do this anymore,
I care too much
I love too much

Somedays I want to die
The heartache hurts too bad
I cry myself to sleep.

I just want you to want me
Like I do

But you've done it again...

— The End —